To me furious with DD's headteacher over letter?

[Anaalabama]

This could be long, sorry.

DD2 has just finished reception. She settled in well, no problems all year that I know of, is bright, works hard, bevhaves well in class. Parents evening feed back was all very positive, as was her end of year report, she's doing very well and I couldn't be happier with her.

Her school has one of these 'stars of the week' schemes, one child from each class gets a certificate and pinbadge thing each week, name in the newsletter etc. They also have to go to the headteacher to collect the pinbadge and write their name in the goldbook. There are 30 children in the class and 40 school weeks in the year.

DD2 didn't get a star of the week all year. DD1 has always gotten one every year, 2 in the last 2 years. DD2 is not the only child who hasn't gotten star of the week because the school is quite unusual in that they do NOT give one to every child, it's for good work all week and so the naughty/lazy children don't get one if they don't put in the effort. They do, however, have a seperate reward system for these children, so they are rewarded for behaviour good for them IYSWIM.

To my knowledge DD2 hasn't been put on a seperate system, I've been told her behaviour is excellent and she's working very well academically. I've told her that she's not to worry about it ( she was very upset ) and that the teacher is probably trying to spur on the children who aren't doing as well as her and thinks she is grown up enough to work hard because she wants to, not for a certificate and a pin badge. This cheered her up.

DD2 missed the last 2 days of term because my dad suddenly became ill, we went to visit and he lives abroad. School were very understanding and said they would post end of term letters and whatnot home.

So we got home today to find in amongst the usual letters, a letter from the headteacher telling me that: I am very disappointed and concerned that I haven't had the chance to congratulate your child on their achievement this year or enter their name in the gold book'- because she hasn't been given the star of the week all year. It seems that this is the generic letter sent home to children who haven't behaved/tried hard enough to get the star of the week to tell the parents the school are concerned about their achievement. Apparently we will be getting a meeting in September to discuss DD2 and why she ' is not making the progress expected at this stage'. In the meantime, he suggests I see DD2's report to clarify where the areas of concern lie so I can help her with behaviour etc.

There is NOTHING on DD2's report to suggest her behaviour is poor, nothing in parent-teacher book, she has targets but all academic and she's already working above average at this stage. I don't understand what she's done wrong, I read it and sat down and cried (pregnant and hormonal) .

AIBU to be upset and wondering what DD2 and I are meant to be doing that we're not already?

Sick of these shitty star of the week awards. Criteria of awarding it is flawed..
(My DD now going in to Class 2. During Reception and Class one, she only got star of the week right near the end of summer term.
She is on top table for numeracy and literacy, and got a excellent report, which also commented on her good behaviour and manners.. Sorry to bang on...
Some of her bratty class mates have been getting star of week more than once a term in spite of rude behaviour, bullying in some instances, and standard of work no better than DDs. WHY?)
I think you should write to HT as per other posters suggestions.
(my DDs teachers and HT abso fabulous, so I have no idea what is going on with regard to my own DD...)

my dds school have the old fashioned merit system, It works out well as all children are rewarded merit based on their own ability, acheivement and hard work. they build up the merits and have merit assemblies where they are awarded badges for 10 20 40 50 etc merits. so most children will at least clock up to 20 in any school year and end up with 2 merit badges and those with 40 and 50 tend to be the exceptionaly hard working.

Thinking on this again, I think it is out of order to send this letter at the start of the 6 weeks holidays, I wonder if there was any thought into the effect it would have on the summer break with this hanging over a pupil for six week. I know in this case the dc is preforming, but if the child was not and the parents worry and don't know how or where to go for help I think it is bad from - this should be sorted in term time not at the end.

I agree ivykaty44 - it also means that the class teacher who has to deal with the fallout in September will be the new teacher, not the one who was actually teaching the child when the issue originally arose.
A messy, needlessly upsetting way to handle a child's progress/attainment - good or otherwise.

Write to the head and say that you can't see any real reason why your DS hasn't got star of the week and you would like him and class teacher to elaborate on the reasons. Explain how upset DS is being over looked

In my experience though, children who are quiet, well behaved, not in your face showing off, able, and with good concentration often get over looked when surrounded by louder kids (be they bright but show offy or naughty)

I don't think it's an appropriate standard letter to be sending out at all, penalising any child for not getting a semi-arbitrary "star of the week" award. Even if a child had behaved badly all year, behaviour issues should be dealt with by the teacher/report/parents evening system.

I agree - the timing of this is appalling, if there are any problems these should have been raised much, much earlier. I'm willing to bet this was a giant cock-up, and I'm equally willing to bet that the school will try to wriggle out.

I like merit systems because merits can be given for anything - DD1's previous school did merits and she has had them for good academic work, being kind to friends (helping them look for lost property), helping the teacher (cleaning up classroom after DT and not having break to do it) - so any child could get these merits.

Her new school does a thing called ACE points - Achievement, Effort, Commitment - which is pretty much the same - everyone can do things that will earn them points. Much fairer all round.

I think hackmum is right. Either the head is at fault in sending out a generic letter without sufficient consideration, or other teachers are at fault in not highlighting issues as they arose. And either way, the timing is dreadful.

Another ex-teacher here.
This is an awful letter. Everyone knows that 'Star of the week' systems are not an accurate way of measuring a child's progress. I always kept a tick sheet to make sure that all children received one at some point during the year.

The beauty of the school year is that it does allow a fresh start, rather than having something hanging over from one year to the next.