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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it would have been nice to be informed.

44 replies

ScarletLadyOfTheNight01 · 30/07/2012 10:30

Looks like the neighbours have got builders in. They are making a huge racket right outside my front door, and are working in the garden at the back which will effect my DD's naps...

I understand the need for these things sometimes, and I know I can't expect them to keep the noise down, but seeing as they (the neighbours) know we have a young child, it would have been nice for them to just let us know they were having work done

OP posts:
MrsKeithRichards · 30/07/2012 10:38

Why? What would you have done? Move out.

Here's a shocking thought. Your daughters naps probably don't even register on their list of things to give a fuck about.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 30/07/2012 10:40

Wow, that was rude! Hmm

TeddyBare · 30/07/2012 10:40

I agree that it would have been nice to have a bit of warning. I think it's just good manners to mention it. But I suppose there isn't really much you could have done to even if you had been warned.

Kellamity · 30/07/2012 10:42

I think a warning would have been nice but like others have said not much you could have done but at least you would have known. Doesn't cost anything does it?

ImperialBlether · 30/07/2012 10:42

Blimey, MrsRichards, that wasn't a very nice response, was it?

OP, I know it's a pain but there isn't much you can do as long as it's between normal working hours. If your daughter regularly sleeps at a specific time could you take her out in her pram so that she sleeps then?

Original poster
ScarletLadyOfTheNight01 · 30/07/2012 10:42

I know there's not much I could do...it's just that if it was me then I'd have popped round to let them know, it just seems polite the polite thing to do. They have a bit of a history of being thoughtless about noise, so I guess I'm more easily irritated then normal.

OP posts:
MrsKeithRichards · 30/07/2012 10:42

It was rude, I just get so puzzled at this whole world revolves around my child way of thinking.

c4rnsi1lk · 30/07/2012 10:43

It would have been polite to have warned you. Can you go on an impromptu holiday?

KaFayOLay · 30/07/2012 10:43

Do you expect a warning when they do the hoovering Grin

Empusa · 30/07/2012 10:45

I think that the child thing is a red herring. It would be polite to let someone know you have builders in, kids or no kids. I know we always let our neighbours know and they let us know. It's easy basic manners which makes everyone's life that much easier.

Original poster
ScarletLadyOfTheNight01 · 30/07/2012 10:45

I don't think the world revolves around my child at all...I just don't think manners cost anything. They have also woken her up many times by having drunken arguments in the garden, so I guess I have a shorter fuse about them than I should.

I'd LOVE to go on a holiday but I'm skint!

OP posts:
Kellamity · 30/07/2012 10:45

I don't think the OP is suggesting the whole world revolves around her child. I do think it's just polite if you are having builders in you inform your neighbours especially if they have small DCs/ a baby.

My neighbour is a single chap living alone but works from home and we told him we were having our drive dug up as we knew it would be noisy - its common courtesy!

wannabedomesticgoddess · 30/07/2012 10:45

YABU and YANBU. Yes it would have been nice to have had a heads up but really it wouldnt have changed anything. The noise and mess would be the same.

Your daughters naps really have nothing to do with them.

LineRunnerSpartanNaked · 30/07/2012 10:50

My near-neighbour did this last year. I kind of shrugged when I realised they'd started a major project, but then without any notice the brick dust started to come down and covered - and I mean covered - my garden, the other neighbours' cars, got in people's open windows.

If the stupid sod had just warned us we could have moved and covered stuff up and closed the windows.

There wasn't much anyone could have done about the noise, though. He started at 8am in the week and 9am at the weekend, and finished by 8pm.

Original poster
ScarletLadyOfTheNight01 · 30/07/2012 10:53

That definitely is thoughtless LineRunner - I've yet to see if it will actually do anything to the garden. They're just sawing and banging out the front at the moment.

On the plus side, it doesn't seem to have disturbed DD so far, so I was a bit hasty in my annoyance.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/07/2012 10:55

Annoying as it is, YABU...my DH is a builder and he has enough things to worry about when he is working, I dont think the next door neighbours toddlers nap would enter into his mind.............

I feel your pain though, been there, done it, got the t-shirt :)

WelshMaenad · 30/07/2012 10:56

YANBU. We warned all our neighbours when we were having major building works, and bought the ones either side a token gift of apology for the disruption when it was finished. Neither had children at the time.

Original poster
ScarletLadyOfTheNight01 · 30/07/2012 10:58

Oh I don't blame the builders at all BettySwollocks, I know they're just doing their job...my DH is a builder by trade also.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 30/07/2012 10:58

I don't see why the OP's point about her children matters? She mentioned it because it happens to be the thing that will bother her. But anyone living next to builders would want to know ... she's just illustrating one reason why.

I think it would have been courteous to let you know. I'd probably, when I saw them, start a friendly conversation about how you've seen they're having work done, hope it's going well ... then they can at least give you a sense of how long it may be.

chipmunksex · 30/07/2012 12:07

Yes they should have mentioned it. When we had our roof replaced we talked to both our neighbours.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 30/07/2012 12:13

This wouldn't bother me, and I find it a bit odd that politeness dictates that neighbours should inform each other with these things.

I don't even know what I'd say if a neighbour came and told me they were having work done. 'Um, ok then. Congratulations?'

FriskyMarkCavendish · 30/07/2012 12:15

When we had major work doen a couple of years ago I informed elderly neighbour (90's) and she was great about it, we took her some flowers and paid for her windows to be cleaned and will do so again in a couple of weeks when work on the kitchen begins.

< she is fab tho, and when we had a 40th birthday party, she was quite happy to sit in her conservatory and watch all the shenanigans:o>

Nanny0gg · 30/07/2012 12:18

I think if your going to have work done that affects neighbours - noise/mess/disruption, then it is courteous to warn them.

Wouldn't hurt, would it?

Original poster
ScarletLadyOfTheNight01 · 30/07/2012 13:44

Just to add to the fantastic-ness of the situation...when I took DD to town just now I got leered at and cat-called...

Thanks for your responses...I understand the world doesn't revolve around my marvellous daughter and her nap-times, I was just thinking that if it was me, I'd have made a point of informing people. We have a couple on the other side of us who have a very young baby with colic who they are having real trouble with at the moment (with settling etc), and I'd feel awful if work I was having done caused them problems...

Maybe I'm just too polite for my own good.

OP posts:
LineRunnerSpartanNaked · 30/07/2012 19:39

Crikey, who leered at you?

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