To be pissed off my BIL & SIL have just invited themselves onto our summer holiday

[FishfingersAreOK]

OK, so it is just camping. We are going away tomorrow for 10 days to the Peaks. We have, for years politely declined any attempts to go camping/go away with other people/family. Yes we are anti-social maybe but it has always been a time to do "us" - DH, DC, me. Our rules. Our plans. No worrying about fitting in with other people/timescales.

DH just had a phonecall from BIL - they have booked the same campsite as us for 6 days - "You don't mind do you?". DH said we have stuff booked but great. Of course we don't mind. I think he felt kind of put ina position. What could he say!

But actually yes. I do. Mind. BIl & SIL have 5 unruly children. They are often skint and never pay for anything if there is a chance for someone else to pay. I find them and their company delightful but can only take about a max of 24 hours and then I am shattered. We need a holiday of a lot of chilling, hanging around the campsite and not having to go out to escape family.

I know really I an BU but FFS find your own bloody holiday destination.

And I shall pop on here for the odd rant when necessary

Just told DC - they are over the moon. This could turn into the best holiday of their lives. I shall just drink and enjoy them having a ball.

[Nearly parked all the pissed off - but not quite]

Don't be afraid to say I'll feed mine you feed yours and it's quiet time in our tent now

Ohhhh I like that.

A lot.
I'll feed mine you feed yours and it's quiet time in our tent now
I'll feed mine you feed yours and it's quiet time in our tent now
I'll feed mine you feed yours and it's quiet time in our tent now
I'll feed mine you feed yours and it's quiet time in our tent now

[practicing]

Wow you are a saint. I speak as somebody who loves shared holidays and camping trips, but they are bang out of order. Good luck!

Yadnbu

I like going away with people but they are taking the piss.

Shining halo . Spoke to DH about it and he feels the same as me. But as above was really no wriggle room without major offence. Will hatch a plot to prevent it being something that happens again and we will enjoy DC's enjoyment. Steaming about it will not help - but you wonderful, wonderful MNetters have made be feel justified in being pissed off - which makes it a lot easier to "park" IYSWIM.

Thank you

We go away for a weekend with a big group of other families. When we share the cooking/eating, we buy stuff and split it per person, sometimes charging an adult 2x the cost of a child, depending. Works for us.

Very cheeky of them, but well done for finding the positives in the situation. You never know, you might end up having a great time. Hope so.

definately try to get put at different ends of the camp site.

Have days out planned - get up and out early, if they have 5 unruly DCs then they are unlikely to be organised enough to be out early...

God worst nightmare but agree to try and cancel or say piss off would be just as rude.

DON'T pay for them in any way...

Drink your own alcohol dont share!! and let kids run wild.

You never know it might be better than you think!

Please let us know though!!

Oh God, this is my idea of a nightmare.

OP could you give them a tasts of their own medicine? If all the DC's get on could you leave your DC's with them so that you and DH can have some time? Get them to feed your 59 out of their pockets?

DC's not 59!!

My MIL did something similar a few years ago. I asked if they could look after our daughter for a long weekend as we'd been invited to a wedding on [Scottish island]. "Oooh" she says "I love [Scottish island], we'll come too"!

So there went a nice child free weekend with friends, getting pissed and not having to get up in the morning.

And then she complained about the weather. Its Scotland ffs, where she comes from!

Bet they offer to babysit your 1 in return for babysitting their 5!

It'll be "You do a BBQ tonight and we'll do it tomorrow." So you cook for an extra seven people!

And, "Oh no, we've run out of booze...."

You need to say at the start of the day you'll go shopping for food/drink; don't leave it until people are starving or ready for a glass of wine.

I'd just keeping "oh, no we like early nights when we're camping "

Thank you for all your support 2 weeks ago. We went, they came and.....we had a wonderful time!!

DH & I agreed our ground rules before we set off and we stuck with them. We were fairly clear on some things "Sorry, it is too small in there for all 7 of you, please play outside.....Out....Out (repeat until all outside)". Vague on others- when asked what we were doing for lunch "Oh no idea...we are going into town and will mooch for a bit and find somewhere". Mostly tried to plan it so if they were doing a big lunch we did a big tea and if they were planning a big tea/BBQ we had a big lunch so just had snack/sarnie tea.

We did several days/afternoons out together.

We did stuff we would not normally do because they suggested it.
They did stuff they would not normally do because we suggested it
My DCs LOVED having their cousins there.
DH & I enjoyed a few nights of adult socialing and actually removed our noses from books more than normal.
There was a bit of showing off/difficult behaviour from my DC as a result of cousins being there but all calmed down once they had gone.

But mostly it was just FUN. We had a ball. We had enough time apart for it not to be a problem. We rarely ate together (this is when DH & I particularly notice their DC unruliness - sorry if I sound stuck up my own arse) so no tension from that or scrounging. (And tbh I think they are now beyond the skint phase - I keep forgetting we are some, some years older and less studenty - so less skint/scroungy all round - I was probably being unfair)

We agreed it would be lovely to do it again (I know, we are shocked too)...as long as same ground rules - a kind of 50/50 time spent with each other apart/not eating together and not crowding our tent (or theirs).

So although the view was i was NBU it turns out I needn't have worried. (Though judgy pants in me still thinks a bit more than 24 hours notice and a discussion would have been a politer way to go about things!)

Thanks for a lovely update, am very happy that it went so well.

I never saw this originally, but you evidently made the best of a potentially tricky situation. You sound like a lovely person altogether, and I am glad you had a great time.

I never saw this originally, but you evidently made the best of a potentially tricky situation. You sound like a lovely person altogether, and I am glad you had a great time.

Yanbu just book lots of things to do away from them

May some Mumsnetters come with you next year as well as your extended family, please? We'll liven it up even more.

Glad it worked well.

Had you not decided on ground rules and stuck to them it could have been hell.

At least next time you can be up front about your ground rules so no need to be vague etc.