Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off my BIL & SIL have just invited themselves onto our summer holiday

50 replies

FishfingersAreOK · 28/07/2012 11:39

OK, so it is just camping. We are going away tomorrow for 10 days to the Peaks. We have, for years politely declined any attempts to go camping/go away with other people/family. Yes we are anti-social maybe but it has always been a time to do "us" - DH, DC, me. Our rules. Our plans. No worrying about fitting in with other people/timescales.

DH just had a phonecall from BIL - they have booked the same campsite as us for 6 days - "You don't mind do you?". DH said we have stuff booked but great. Of course we don't mind. I think he felt kind of put ina position. What could he say!

But actually yes. I do. Mind. BIl & SIL have 5 unruly children. They are often skint and never pay for anything if there is a chance for someone else to pay. I find them and their company delightful but can only take about a max of 24 hours and then I am shattered. We need a holiday of a lot of chilling, hanging around the campsite and not having to go out to escape family.

I know really I an BU but FFS find your own bloody holiday destination.

OP posts:
Fisharefriendsnotfood · 28/07/2012 11:42

Jesus I'd go mental Angry

Can you find another camp site?

Oogaballoo · 28/07/2012 11:43

It's not unreasonable at all! It's bloody rude to do this without even asking if you mind the seven of them coming along too.

"they never pay for anything if there is a chance for someone else to pay"

Make sure you don't end up picking up the tab for them over and over while silently seething. Foot down when it comes to this.

Olympicnmix · 28/07/2012 11:44

Oh, that is so not on.

AmbrosiaCreamedMice · 28/07/2012 11:45

I'd tell them it wasn't suitable, and deal with the strops when I came home. Honestly, life is too short.

Teeb · 28/07/2012 11:45

Urgh, I'd hate something like that! It absolutely is rude on their behalf too, that they are basically intending to piggy back onto your holiday.

Is there any way you can cancel/change plans?

sugarice · 28/07/2012 11:49

I would be so pissed off, poor you. Keep your wallets firmly in your pocket and bbq just for your family. Be hard faced.

Olympicnmix · 28/07/2012 11:49

How big is the site? Can you ask the camp owner to place them far far away from you?

Swap sites and then claim surprise that they seem to be booked into another one?

If you only have 1 dc to get ready in the morning, compared to their 5, can you shoot off early enough so you don't have the freeloaders in tow?

Foslady · 28/07/2012 11:51

God - I'd be FUMING - 6 days you say? so that's Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Good luck!

Chattymummyhere · 28/07/2012 11:57

Could you not ask to move your days? so say then you are only there 2/3 or even 1 day with them! Then claim ahh yes work needed us so we had to change dates

FallenCaryatid · 28/07/2012 12:01

Wiggling around the topic with polite British excuses won't change things though.
I'd go, be polite but not accept any freeloading or self-invitations to things you are going to do. Make your mind up about the boundaries and limits you want and stick to them politely but very firmly.
The 5 unruly cousins are their problem, not yours. So say No.
If they don't get the freebies, baby-sitting and company they thought they were getting, then they won't do this again next year.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 28/07/2012 12:06

So I used to work on a campsite and we had requests all the time from people in similar situations. They would phone in advance and say; please don't mention we called but please put us at opposite ends of the field.

I suggest doing that.
YANBU at all - this was make me v angry.

RandomMess · 28/07/2012 12:09

Now I would like to holiday with another family for a few days. However it would be with lots of discussion beforehand and the agreement to spend every other day doing our own thing etc etc.

They are completely rude and unreasonable.

Get dh to rang back "on 2nd thoughts that doesn't work for us...."

NarkedRaspberry · 28/07/2012 12:11

Is it too late to change the dates/move campsite?

NarkedRaspberry · 28/07/2012 12:12

Tomorrow Shock sorry. Didn't read it properly. That is truly shitty behaviour.

iknowwho · 28/07/2012 12:13

If I was you I would start planning where my day trips are going to be for the 6 days that they are there!!
(and then be vague about where you are going and what time you are leaving to get there!)

ImperialBlether · 28/07/2012 12:19

Oh god, just imagining the BBQs where they eat all your food, the fact your wine will be gone before you know it, that the 5 kids will be sent to 'visit' you at the crack of dawn.

Could you possibly book in somewhere else?

WinkyWinkola · 28/07/2012 12:22

Why do they feel the need to go where you're going?

Be firm. You have to tell them you're not gong to spend every day with them. Make sure they pay their way and then you will feel less hacked off.

MyinnergoddessisatLidl · 28/07/2012 12:22

Feeling very angry on your behalf. We do shared camping trips, but with family we impose a 4 day limit, for everyone's sanity. Also it is planned together. They sound a nightmare. It isn't your business to support their skint asses on holiday because they decided to have 5 kids they couldn't afford.

I would without a doubt change my booking, if you are going away for 10 days then book 5 days in another campsite to coincide with their stay at the original site.

Then rock up on their last day, and enjoy 4 days without them. Presumably their last day means packing up the tent by 11am to vacate the pitch, you will be setting up your pitch so a quick bite to eat and then wave them off.

Or call them and tell them no, it's not what you want. I don't see why you have to be driven out of the site on a daily basis to avoid them when you just want to enjoy the camp facilities.

Or call the site and ask how much it will cost to have them say that the site is full! Grin

MyinnergoddessisatLidl · 28/07/2012 12:23

And next time....tell them a different campsite, or be a bit vague about where it is.

Hope you manage a nice break op. If not come back here and have a good moan about them. X

RandomMess · 28/07/2012 12:26

Any chance there is a sister campsite they will switch your booking to for a small fee?

Actually I think I'd pay out twice just to avoid them.

samandi · 28/07/2012 12:34

I can't get my head around why people do that. Do they not have lives of their own? It's beyond rude, it's weird and desperate.

ImperialBlether · 28/07/2012 12:45

Just re-read your original post.

Find another campsite. It's not on that you should have to share your holiday with them.

Original poster
FishfingersAreOK · 28/07/2012 13:47

Thank you everyone - am now not feeling unreasonable. Am still pissed off. But think ground rules will be set by DH and I.

Cannot really change - would be hugely insulting and not worth the family upset - so can grin and bear it. Will enjoy some elements of it - it will just be a different holiday to what I planned (wanted?) [martyr emotion]. Our DC will absolutely love it - they adore their cousins. I can deal with the fall out from different behaviour afterwards - sigh.

Just glad to know pissed off/martyr not mad. Will now park them, get on with packing and make the best of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
FishfingersAreOK · 28/07/2012 13:48

Oh and DH will be on strict instructions to be far, far more vague on any future holiday plans so this never happens again.

OP posts:
MyinnergoddessisatLidl · 28/07/2012 13:49

What a good attitude you have op. Enjoy your 4 days of peace, keep one hand on your purse and another on your wineglass.

Hope the weather holds out for you!