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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my children go fast on the roundabout and expect parents with babies to wait their turn.

30 replies

yousankmybattleship · 27/07/2012 15:01

So, we're at the playground this morning and my three had waited quite a while to go on the roundabout. When it finally became free they all went on and started whizzing round. A couple of minutes later a mum with a tiny baby cam up and asked them to go slowly so she could put her baby on it. They were really nice about it and pushed it very slowly while the baby had her little ride, then she got off. They started whizzing again and leaping off etc etc - generally having bigger children fun. Anyway, less than 5 minutes later two Mums came up with toddlers and told my children that they had to go slowly. I wasn't with them - I was sitting on the grass a bit to the side. Two of my children pushed slowly again but my Ds (age 6) stomped off towards me very crossly. I told him just to sit with me for a bit and let the toddlers have a turn and then I'd explain to the other Mums that it was time for the big ones to go quickly again. I also said to him that I didn't blame him for being cross! We gave them 5 mins or so and then I went back over with my DS. One Mum was taking her toddler off anyway, the other one seemed determined to keep her little darling on there so I just said that it was time for the bigger ones to have their turn. Her daughter had a tantrum as she took her off and she muttered about us as she walked away.

Anyway, was I being unreasonable to think my children should have been ablet to have their turn without constant inerruptions from toddler Mums? If the Mums had just waited to the side I would, of course, have said mine had to get off and let them have a turn once they'd had a fair crack of the whip. Surely bigger children don't always have to give way for little ones...

OP posts:
lacroixsweetie · 27/07/2012 15:05

No - YANBU in my opinion. I'm impressed the toddlers last 5 mins without being sick though. Why not just say that they've just gotten on and would the other parent mind giving them 5 mins and then you'll clear off? Provided your kids don't hog it for ages yanbu.

ArtVandelay · 27/07/2012 15:06

Christ! How are children supposed to learn to take turns if the adults are having a turf war over the merry-go-round! Its just about taking turns - I think you understand that and that you are not being very U. Just ignore the muttering Mum. Your DCs deserve a bash, the little ones deserve a bash... otherwise buy one for your garden (and then have a whole new aibu about neighbours kids and your merry-go-round)

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 27/07/2012 15:08

Yanbu

plantsitter · 27/07/2012 15:10

God I hate roundabouts. Both stressful and tediously boring.

Anyway, as the mother of 2 toddlers, YANBU, but the school hols and resultant lack of playgroups/nursery/playgrounds where toddlers can safely go on anything without getting squished or in the way is certainly frazzling MY nerves so I do sympathise a bit with the other mum. Even though she was in the wrong I'm sure.

TandB · 27/07/2012 15:10

YANBU
But it would probably have been better to go over and say "Do you mind waiting for a few minutes as my three have been very good about letting a little baby have a go and they really would like to have a play themselves now."

That might have gone down better than going and effectively asking them to get off.

FartyMcTarty · 27/07/2012 15:25

Surely any of them are free to use if at any time if space permits, and the speed should be appropriate for the youngest rider.

What does piss me off is the groups of 14 year olds who go tearing round it and falling off at high speed. Dickheads (and girls are worst).

SneakyNuts · 27/07/2012 15:58

YANBU

They can wait their turn like everyone else, surely?

TroublesomeEx · 27/07/2012 16:01

You can't expect all those PFBs to wait! They'll be those melting babies won't they?

nancerama · 27/07/2012 16:07

Could you move in near me please? 14 month old DS loves the roundabout, but it makes me want to puke. I'd love for some bigger kids to monopolise it.

Your DCs sound lovely. It's very sweet of them to be so thoughtful around tiny ones.

Debeez · 27/07/2012 16:09

YANBU. Especially given if your children had had a fair crack of the whip as you say you would have told them it was time for someone else to have a turn. I don't think I'm alone in thinking I wouldn't interrupt the play of three children to sit my child on and then request a change of pace.

Liketochat1 · 27/07/2012 16:11

I think it was unreasonable to go over and ask someone to take her daughter off, especially as her child was upset. I also don't understand why you refer to her child as a 'little darling'. She was trying to give her child a turn as you were.
I think I would have stood by the roundabout once the lady had got off of her own accord and asked anyone to wanted a turn with a toddler if they minded waiting a few minutes as they had been waiting to go fast for a while.

StateofConfusion · 27/07/2012 16:11

Yanbu.

HeathRobinson · 27/07/2012 16:14

YANBU.

My bigger than average but still primary aged kids were sworn at by two mums in a park once. They were using a slide and the mums just wanted their toddlers on it. There's no way my kids wouldn't have let the toddlers have a turn, so I'm not sure what the mums' problem was.

glenthebattleostrich · 27/07/2012 16:15

Other parents thinking their children shouldn't have to wait is a pet hate of mine. We get them at our local park telling older children (by that I mean 7 or 8 year olds) that they should find something else to do because their toddler needs to play in the park. Erm no, your toddler needs to learn to take turns just like mine is.

You behaved far more reasonably than I would have. They would have been told no from the start, my child was taking the turn they waited for. (And yes I have told other parents that more times than I should have to).

TheOneWithTheGoldMedal · 27/07/2012 16:17

YANBU. Your dcs seem to be lovely about adjusting their play for others.

If it was me I wouldn't have asked the other mum to take her dd off but I would loudly have sympathised with my dcs that yes they had been waiting a long time but it won't be too much longer. That would hopefully have prompted the other mum to move.

emsyj · 27/07/2012 16:20

Maybe the mums with the toddlers had just arrived at the park and assumed your older children had been on the roundabout for a while.

How long is a 'turn' anyway? It seems in your world, a toddler's turn lasts 5 minutes, but an older child's turn lasts much longer Confused.

SunflowersSmile · 27/07/2012 16:20

Toddlers have tantrums [I know!!].
I would have apologetically asked if my toddler could have a go with the big kids but [despite screams] would have removed him fairly soon to let bigger kids have fast fun.
Difficult sometimes when you have a toddler who wants to join in with the big children as toddlers have an over inflated sense of their own important selves!!

slowestwildebeast · 27/07/2012 16:23

yabu. What on earth.

Ormiriathomimus · 27/07/2012 16:25

YANBU. I remember once having all 3 of mine in the park when youngest was about 18m. He wanted a go first so the older two pushed him round very slowly. I took him off (screaming) so they others could go faster and someone plonked their toddler on so they had to push it slowly again, more parents noticed that 2 nice kind Hmm bigger children were pushing the roundabout slowly for the LOs so two more ended up on there.... I think the slow pushing lasted about 15 mins until I had to step in and say firmly I think the big children would like a go now and they go really really fast!!' One of the little ones wanted to stay but mum whipped her off asap.

KickTheGuru · 27/07/2012 16:26

YANBU

First come first served

The second in parents shouldn't shove your kids off. They should wait their turn. I suppose that's the destruction of society though - if parents can't be bothered to follow basic guidelines of simple good etiquette, why on earth should their children?

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 27/07/2012 16:32

YANBU - toddlers do not 'trump' older kids - they all have to learn to take turns and share, the older ones shouldn't always have to cave to the little ones.

SugarBatty · 27/07/2012 16:42

This is why they should build more play areas with 2 sections! There is a great one near me, one with equipment geared towards little ones another with larger more challenging stuff! Annoyingly teenagers do seem to still inhabit both areas!

Not sure if you are being U or not, I'd have probably told my dcs to go play on the swings or something else until the toddler had finished and then to go back on later.

Goldenbear · 27/07/2012 16:44

I can see your point. I have a 5 year old that wants to go really fast on it and a 15 month old that just wants to walk on it and stamp on it as this is more fun to her. However, i dont think she has any chance of doing this in the summer holidays as for 6 weeks it is not toddler time at the park.

On the other hand, I expect my 5 year old to have a bit more patience over these things than my 1 year old. I would much rather he was kind to babies than was pushy about it being his turn. Yes toddlers have to learn to take turns but It's quite a steep learning curve at 1 or 2 and a lot easier to understand at 5+. I don't think I would want to teach my 5 year old to enforce his turn without thought of the upset. However, my 5 year old would not be happy at me doing that but that is because he would relate that scenario to his own sister who he's very protective of and doesn't lime seeing upset.

iggi777 · 27/07/2012 16:47

Sounds like the bigger children had had two turns though?
My ds often ends up crying in the park as the big children (by which he means primary age ones) basically monopolise the big swing everyone loves. They might let a smaller child on now and then, but they stay on too and it's like they're doing them a favour.

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 16:51

YAB a bit U. Why did the toddlers only get 5 minutes when you have said that your kids were on a couple of minutes then another 5 minutes after the baby left and after the baby left you still expected it to be your kids turn? Confused

Very annoying that people can't seem to wait but how long exactly do you think a turn is?