to expect at least a little politeness if not gratitude

[poachedeggs]

On several occasions I've handed stuff in to charity shops and been gruffly told to dump it somewhere. I've only had a thank you once that I can recall. Today I phoned to check whether they actually wanted what I had and was told 'no, we don't' and hung up on!

I don't give them rubbish - usually laundered and folded clothes or clean toys. AIBU to think that manners would be nice? I can see a return to freecycle ahead.

I sometimes think the exact same thing. I don't expect to be told 'oh aren't you an amazing person etc. etc.' but I give them good stuff, hardback books, dvds, clothes (non Primark) that are in good nick. A nice 'thank you' is plenty.

It's pot luck who you meet in a charity shop, most of them are nice but there will be often be some old bat. Last week I lugged what felt like a tonne of books to my local Oxfam bookshop. Not even a thank you. I have lots more books to offload, they won't be going to Oxfam.

I know the feeling. I take books and clothes (clean) into charity shops on a regular basis and stopped going to Age Concern when I had carried 8 bags in and was grunted at and pointed to the storeroom where I was instructed to drop off my bags. Three volunteers stood by and watched me - not a smile, a thank you or offer to take a bag from me. I know people are volunteers and I know I may not have been taking what was useful but a thank you wouldn't have gone amiss.

Yes, absolutely. I never go back to those I've had a bad reception in.

Some seem actively pissed off at anything that suggests more work for them to do

Agreed YANBU.

I once called ahead to make sure I could drop off some childrens clothes, toys and a moses basket. Went on the bloody bus with it all. Got there to be told "We don't take donations after 1pm. Can you come back tomorrow". This was the BHF. Marie Curie was thrilled with it all though.

Maybe they are all doing community service and not happy about it. I know someone who did their service in Age Concern and he was as grumpy as hell

I know that feeling, especially when you have made a effort to wash/dry/iron nice stuff and you wanted it to go to a worthy cause. You could of just binned it. Manners really do not cost anything and some gratitude would really make you want to give there again.

It seems to me that the "national" charity shops are more likely to be like this, we have 3 big names charity shops which are quite fussy, and one which is just run for local groups and charities, which is grateful for any and all reasonably decent donations, they also sell their things cheaper than the national ones, and, to be honest, it is supported better than the other 3.

Especially these days when there seems to be lots of businesses that buy your old clothes at a £1.00 per kilo or whatever it is. Price of cotton has sored or something . . .

I've not encountered this but when we offered furniture to a local charity shop who do a good line in beds, units, tables, etc., they were all huffy with us on the phone as if taking it would be a massive inconvenience. Then they said they would have to come and inspect it first, before they could send a van to collect it, then they didn't turn up on the arranged inspection date!

How horrible, this isn't something I have found but then the shop I give to is a local hospice one, maybe that makes a difference although it shouldn't.

I know someone who recently gave several valuable musical instruments to a local charity due to issues with space. The charity made rather a lot off fuss about collecting them and my friend actually had to pay to have them moved.

I once took a bag of my late fathers clothes to the same charity in a different town and was ignored and kept waiting- the assistant being ostentatiously 'busy' doing nothing- left a bad taste in my mouth.

YANBU.

Can still remember as a teenager having the job of bagging up my deceased mother's lovely clothes, took them to Cancer Research and handed them over saying she would have wanted them to go to a good cause, only to be cut off and told he didn't want to hear any 'tales of woe', rummaged through them and said 'didn't I have any summer clothes?' Couldn't backpedal out of there quick enough.

And yet charity shops are crying out for goods to sell

Olympicnmix that's terrible!

So sorry for your losses Cat and Olympic. Awful when you think of others at such a difficult time and don't get so much as a thank you for bothering.

I was once told by abig national charity we dont take that sort of thing
It was M and S summer school dresses hardly worn
Not been in their shop since, they are well known for putting good stuff out in the bin, you want to see the folk raking through it after closing time

When clearing out MILs there was one charity shop where the ladies would come out to the car and help us saying how thrilled they were to get the donations so they got lots as did the Marie Curie shop

Olympicnmix and Cat - how awful

Glad there's someone else saying how nice Marie Curie are ratspeaker. They get all my stuff and I was so glad of them a few years down the line when my Darling Father needed their amazing end of life care. Their nurses also go above and beyond, not just their volunteers.

I freecycle rather than charity shop stuff but I've been annoyed recently as there are people in our local group who ask for everything I post and I'm sure they just sell it all on. I now spend ages trying to work out who is a genuine asker rather than a car booter. I know technically they're not doing anything wrong but it makes me cross that something I view as charitable is treated by some others as a way to make money.

Thanks guys, that's really nice of you, it's strange what stays with you.

I now give to the British Heart Foundation as they will come and collect large items and appear pleased to get an inshop donation. They actually sell the items people donate through their stores, rather than bagging it up and selling it to some middleman per tonne who then makes a tidy profit selling it to the impoverished. Was surprised too when I donated 2 old TVs and a wrought iron double bed they sent me a letter telling me how much I had raised for the BHF. It's a good way of making people feel good about donating and more likely to do so again, although I have no particular call to support their charity.

Olympic, what a vile bitch,, poor you.

I have had various charity shops get all huffy about donations, acting like you are aaking a huge favour for them to deign to take my donations.

In one shop, the assistant rooted through the bag in front of me, making cats bum mouth expressions at anything that wasn't to her taste. Bitch.

I have always donated decent items, clean and in good nick!

Most of these were chains, eg BHF and Oxfam, but there is also a local one which is well known for being bitchy as hell. I have no idea how they keep going!

Best have been the woman's refuge shop, the local hospice shop and another local one. They get anything I donate now.

BHF staff do seem to be rude.

I always use the local hospice shop. Knowing how they work I bag resellable clothes, worn out clothes that they sell on to the rag man (this gets sold on to car manufacturers to pack spare parts, and manky shoes boots, that get ground up for astro turf

Thankyou.

I used to still give by using the bags that come through the door, but have heard so many stories of people nicking bags that have been left out or the stuff going to the 'buy it for a £1' merchants, I rarely bother anymore.

I'm a sour old grump!

I'm horrified by some of the experiences you've had :(

This is a small local hospice shop and they've been rude and dismissive before. I've had the same from other shops though.

I've never complained. Maybe I should.