Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect at least a little politeness if not gratitude

57 replies

poachedeggs · 27/07/2012 14:24

On several occasions I've handed stuff in to charity shops and been gruffly told to dump it somewhere. I've only had a thank you once that I can recall. Today I phoned to check whether they actually wanted what I had and was told 'no, we don't' and hung up on!

I don't give them rubbish - usually laundered and folded clothes or clean toys. AIBU to think that manners would be nice? I can see a return to freecycle ahead.

OP posts:
TandB · 27/07/2012 16:23

I took about 4 big bags of good quality clothing, household goods and books into Oxfam when I was 8 months pregnant. I managed to get parked just round the corner - about 20 feet from the door and lugged the first bag in. I asked if someone could help me bring the rest -they said they weren't allowed to do that so I dragged the others in and put them in front of the counter.

The lady looked at me like I had just shat on the floor and said "You need to put them up on the counter."

I pointed out that I was heavily pregnant and that surely someone else could do that. She said "Oh no, we're volunteers, you know. You need to do that."

I said that what I actually needed to do was take my stuff to the Cancer Research shop next door where it might actually be appreciated. I dragged the first bag round, told them what had happened and two of their volunteers went and retrieved the rest from Oxfam. Apparently the volunteers in the Oxfam shop were rather put out about it!

Original poster
poachedeggs · 27/07/2012 16:29
OP posts:
chickydoo · 27/07/2012 16:36

My DH took 2 good condition leather chairs to a local charity shop. He was told they didn't want them & told him to take them to the dump!
So many times I have taken good cond Pre loved things to charity shops only to be ignored and left to put items in the back myself.
Charity shops if you are reading this thread. Get some manners, or your charities will suffer!!!!!

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/07/2012 16:37

YANBU

The woman in the Women's Refuge shop in Bath was so rude and I was dropping off a lot of very very nice clothes.

If it wasn't such a good cause I'd take to a different shop in future.

EldritchCleavage · 27/07/2012 16:59

My nearest one is staffed by someone so foul neither DH nor I will go in there any more. I bag it up and my parents collect it when they visit to take to their nearest shops-they live 300 miles away. The people there are always delighted to have good donations, especially all the books I gave them (sob).

MarysBeard · 27/07/2012 17:17

I've always had a great deal of thanks when I've donated. Most are crying out for stuff at the moment.

moosemama · 27/07/2012 17:18

If you have women and children's clothes, toys and baby equipment and even unwanted furniture, it's worth contacting your local domestic violence charity/ies directly.

I have donated lots of items that way and they have always been extremely polite and very grateful. There were a few items they didn't want or couldn't take, but they were always very gracious about it.

MarysBeard · 27/07/2012 17:19

What I do first though is ask them if they want it. Usually I phone ahead saying what I am intending to bring. Then I arrive saying "Hi, I phoned ten minutes ago".

TirednessKills · 27/07/2012 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

waitingforgodot · 27/07/2012 18:37

I have always donated my furniture to local women's aid. They come and collect it and use it to set women up in their own accomodation. Have given them towels and bedding before too. I can't believe the bad experiences people have had with the charity shops! Ungrateful swines!

MarathonRunnersPukeCatcher · 27/07/2012 19:03

Our local barnardos is staffed lovely ladies and they add you to a database if you like where they somehow barcode your donations and send you a letter twice a year telling you the total amount your stuff sold for. Makes me all warm and fuzzy when I get my letter.

Viperidae · 27/07/2012 19:12

I rang our local hospice shop to see if they wanted a dining table and 6 chairs in good condition, they were really sniffy and said they would only have it if I rang their store in a nearby town and arranged for the driver to pick it up myself. Needless to say I didn't! On that occasion I had mentioned it at church and got a call from the pastor about someone in need so gave it there.

When we had a new kitchen though I rang another local charity about the kitchen table and various bits, they could not have been nicer. Anyone within striking distance of Blackpool, can I tell you Donna's Dream House were a delight to donate to.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/07/2012 19:30

Those charity bags that come through your door-

some do state on the bag/flyer that they are not a charity but employ people to collect,sort and distribute (so giving gainful employment)

I usually put general donations if there's a bag through my door.
But anything really nice I'd take to a charity shop (though only certain ones)
I was told by some (local) ones that they don't take school uniform (specific school uniform)

honeytea · 27/07/2012 19:44

The charity shops here are staffed by people with learning disabilities (I'm not in the UK and every person in society has the right to work so there are many little shops and cafe's staffed by people with downs syndrome or other learning difficulties.)

I have only ever had really lovely experiences in the shops, I have bought loads of stuff for our baby in them and they usually have a little chat with you about the things and coo over the baby clothes.

Sometimes a litle patience is needed one lady wanted to fold everything I had bought multiple times and I was there for half an hour but I didn't mind she was just trying to be helpful and I think she really enjoyed looking at the baby things.

It's really sad that some people have bad experiences of charity shops, if the people who work there don't want to work there they should just give up volenteering.

ComeonComeon · 27/07/2012 19:49

Shock at the experiences on this thread! Mary Portas made over a charity shop near me and it's now a pleasure to shop in although she was a rude bitch when I went in and inadvertently got served by her but i feel so sheepish donating clothes there, I donate nice ones and the staff could not give less of a shit. It's a Save The Children fwiw. I shop there frequently but am more likely to consider sellin clothes on EBay as I don't get the 'feel-good factor' I deserve would like from donating expensive clothes - worth hundreds when new - to charity Sad

ophelia275 · 27/07/2012 19:52

A few years ago I went to take some stuff to my local Cancer Research shop and the lady who was at the counter was unbelievably rude to me (acted like she was doing me a great favour by taking my stuff). Anyway, I couldn't believe it so I said "Fine, I'll take it to the other shop then" and walked straight out with it.

I think a lot of charity shops feel that they are holier than holy and that they don't need to thank people for donations because it is a charity and therefore donations should be given as a sort of moral duty.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 27/07/2012 20:05

There are 3in our town but only 1 in which the staff say thank you or offer help. Needless to say I only donate there. It's a small local one too, the others are chains. And the local ones prices are much better tbh. The ladies are lovely, I walked in and asked for maternity clothes last week and the lady immediately knew where stuff was (not all together) and was lovely and charming!

I hate it when they're rude!

OAM2009 · 27/07/2012 20:40

Shock at some of these experiences! Applause to people walking out and going next door. We were asked for petrol money by a furniture recycling charity to take a settee and matching armchair!

When I helped my grandparents in the good neighbors shop 20 years ago, they told me that clothes that weren't good enough for sale were called "shoddy" and were sold on to clothes manufacturers who stripped them down and reused the fabric. Is this true and does it still happen? I ask as upthread, someone did seem to suggest that might be right.

lollopybear · 27/07/2012 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/07/2012 23:17

OAM2009 my mum took some bags of clothes to a charity shop including some ancient underpants that were meant to go in the bin.
When she went back to tell them, they said "Don't worry, anything unsellable is recycled"

IMHO alot of charity shops act like you are dumping your rubbish. I wouldn't put anything in that I wasn't happy for my DC or myself to wear.
DD old school uniform goes to shop, DS usually goes to the bin Blush

SugarPasteGiraffe · 28/07/2012 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSurgeonsMate · 28/07/2012 00:19

kungfu I might start stalking you for tips on presence of mind in face of severe provocation.

waitingforgodot · 28/07/2012 18:13

honeytea, where are you? That sounds marvellous

thatisall · 28/07/2012 18:21

I once watched in horror as a lady tried to drop some bags off at a Charity shop. The woman actually shouted at her and said they only accepted donations on certain days (!!) but would accept it none the less on this this occassion.

She took the bags (lots of them) and then came out from the back and I listened in overheard her tell the other shop lady that there was pretty much all of somebody's belongings, a young mans, she wondered whether someone had died.

So so mean.

LetsKateWin · 28/07/2012 18:23

YANBU. We have found this recently with charity shops too. I've started giving stuff away on Netmums now instead

They're always really nice on Sue Ryder, but it's a bit too far now that we've moved.