ok give it to me straight

[BlueBirdsNest]

DS1 has just finished a college course and has been advised to sign on over the summer holidays

He may go join university, but that is dependant on his exam results

He has registered as unemployed on Thursday, so will be signing on

But has just signed a standing order for £50 per month for a martial arts class

And is sort of implying he is looking for work that would fit around the martial arts classes.

do I tell him he is deluded and explain how daft it is to spend £50 a month on a hobby when he is, by his own admission , trying to save up for a flat of his own

or do I just leave him to his own devices , where he'll find himself totally skint and unable to even afford a busfare into town within a week

option 2.

Second one.

Has he ever been interested in martial arts before?

Yup option 2!

Option 2.

You can try option 1 but I don't think he'll really listen or learn if you try to make him see sense. I think it's one of those life lessons you have to experience to learn from it.

Option 2. Some people just have to learn the hard way. My DS1 is like this - still learning......

Advised to sign on why not advised to go get a Summer job ??

2

Option 2

He's a grown up......he needs to learn these things for himself

How old is he? I didn,t think teenagers could sign on before university. Myds is 18 and still very like this I just think looking ahead doesn,t come naturally to everyone. I am surprised he is looking for a flat my ds says he is never leaving us help!!!i agree with let him get on with it

18 .........the college told him to sign on

he is looking for a summer job though ,,,,,but one that fits around the martial art s classes

option 2

Option 2, definitely. He's an adult and we all have to learn these lessons!

£50 a month isn't a huge amount though, maybe it'll be OK if he budgets carefully?

As he is looking for work and doesn't appear to have a university place yet, I can't see how they could possibly say he can't sign on.

Much as option one would be appealing, I agree with thd option-two-Sayers.

I would do a mixture of the 2. Tell him you think it is daft that he is spending £50 a month on martial art lessons, and if he can afford to spend that much on a hobby and look for a job that has to fit in around his hobby then he can afford to contribute to the household expenses.

Fit, able bodied 18 year olds signing on, really?
It's enough to make you start reading the daily mail!
Read him the riot act and make him get a summer job, you will be teaching him a valuable lesson.
I am staggered schools are giving this kind of advice, what a way to raise a nation

Yes sorry Joyful I guess but it was the "advised" no wonder kids get dragged into benefit system. £50 seems a lot for martial arts class. How often does he go and who has been paying it until now?? Whynot ask the class leader if he can help out for reduced fee. At my son's class some school leavers do this.

Option 2. They learn by their own mistakes-other people's experience is never as good.

He will be lucky if he gets a summer job-they are like gold dust-unless you live in a touristy place.

posted too soon, So he has to factor in contributing to household expenses, plus save up for his flat, plus still continue his social life plus pay for his hobby. Does jobseekers allow for all that for him? Then he has to cut his cloth accordingly.

Can I just say to all those saying "option 2". That is fine if you have been taught to budget, had the cost of living explained to you by the age of 18 (and yes by then you should know but it helps a lot if you have been brought up to value each penny). I moved out at 18, my dad asked me, could I afford the rent? Yes I could. So I thought I was laughing with how much money I would have left over each month. It hadn't even occured to me to think of gas, council tax, phone, water etc. I hadn't been prepared for any of it.

Who had advised him this?
Our area is a tourist area, there are loads of summer jobs in the restaurants here. We own one and need 2, we are very friendly with the other owners in town and most of them are.
Yes ots difficult but not impossible.

[grins] Elephant I did not know you had to pay for water