Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to ask you about eternity rings? Yey or ney?

48 replies

newmummytobe79 · 25/07/2012 16:40

My friends all recieved eternity rings from their husbands on/not long after the birth of their first child.

None of my family or extended family have eternity rings (except my Auntie who I think got it around 25 years after her first! )

The adult in me says that we could spend the money on better things than bling for my finger

The new mother in me said I bloody well deserved one after a 40 hour labour and then a EMCS

The 5 year old in me says I want one because all my friends have them

I would also like a new carpet - but that's the boring option.

Thoughts on that 3rd ring please :)

OP posts:

KellyElly · 25/07/2012 16:42

Why not, if you want it and family finances allow. My ex got be sod all - a ring would have been lovely (or even flowers, chocolates - I'm not bitter)

Salmotrutta · 25/07/2012 16:44

I got one after about 10 years of marriage (ish).

I like it.

Original poster

newmummytobe79 · 25/07/2012 16:45

It's nearly a year since PFB now so don't really want to bring it up. DH asked me about one after we had baby and I was so low/tired etc I just said 'oh don't worry about that!' and I meant it kind of, but a surprise would have been nice!

Maybe I'll have to wait 25 years now :(

OP posts:

Original poster

newmummytobe79 · 25/07/2012 16:46

or 10 KellyElly! :)

It would hopefully be sparklier then!

OP posts:

Pastabee · 25/07/2012 16:46

I have one following DD's birth and i love it. It was a birthday and DD is here present combined though so I didn't feel so bad about the bill!

I wear it on my right hand though as i have have quite small hands and it's much bigger than my engagement ring and i didn't want that to be the poor relation!

AWomanCalledHorse · 25/07/2012 16:50

Yes if you've got the money put aside for it anyway!
It's a shiny thing, who could resist??

WhiteAnkleSocks · 25/07/2012 16:51

I would have loved one, but decided it would be more sensible to keep the money - I do still secretly hanker after one but suspect it will be a few years before we can afford it. None of my friends have them, but lots of DH's friends' wives do (I am quite a bit younger than DH).

MotherOfSuburbia · 25/07/2012 16:52

I very unexpectedly got one on my 10th wedding anniversary which was also close to my 30th birthday so a kind of joint present for anniversary/birthday/thank god we've finished having 4 children present! Was a surprise though and wouldn't have expected it although I know some people did. Didn't even get flowers after giving birth (sniff sniff).

cocolepew · 25/07/2012 16:53

I got mine for my 10 year anniversary too.

lacroixsweetie · 25/07/2012 16:55

Life's too short to be sensible all the time unless you really have to be - if you would like one now, then just mention in passing that if he's ever stuck for present ideas you would love one at some point.
Guys are great - they generally love it when you explicitly request something and take all the hassle out of actually thinking about what you might like/need. :)

RubyFakeNails · 25/07/2012 16:58

I don't have one but it seems I've completely misunderstood them.

I sort of thought as them as wedding rings for people who don't get married, am I'm married I would never have thought about it. Although we did only get married 7 years ago after 16 together, seems I let DH off lightly.

But you're supposed to get them after having a baby? I'm going to be demanding 3 off DH pretty sharpish!

rosie39forever · 25/07/2012 17:00

I got a lovely diamond one to go with my wedding and engagement rings for my 40th and i love it. If you want one and can afford it , go for it!!

Bunbaker · 25/07/2012 17:02

I don't get this "entitlement" about eternity rings or even presents for having a baby. I neither expected nor received a present after DD was born. OH and I have been married for 31 years and it never occurred to either of us to get an eternity ring.

MoonHare · 25/07/2012 17:02

Oh I would love an eternity ring. Have hinted a few times since DC1 was born nearly 4 years ago, one more child and one (current) pregnancy later I am still waiting. I didn't even get flowers after either, sigh. I guess DH just isn't one for grand gestures and never has been. Lots of my friends have them too and I also have that 5yrd old 'I want one feeling' !!

If you think DH is likely to agree with you then wear your ring with pride!

Pandemoniaa · 25/07/2012 17:03

If you want one and can afford it then go for it. It's only recently that they seem to have become some sort of reward for having a baby though. In the past they tended to be given on significant wedding anniversaries.

ChippyWiggins · 25/07/2012 17:03

DH gave me jewellery after DS1 and DS2. Then we got married, and I chose a solitaire diamond ring instead of a plain band, as I didn't have an engagement ring. I found it hard to decide between two designs though. After DD was born, DH took me on a surprise trip back to the jewellers and bought the second-choice ring as an eternity ring

cocolepew · 25/07/2012 17:06

I've never heard about getting one after a baby, I though it was after you had been married a while.

tartyflette · 25/07/2012 17:08

I'd bloody love one! But I would have to buy it myself as DH doesn't 'do' diamonds, thinks they are ridiculously overpriced (he's not wrong there, look at the difference between a new diamond and a 2nd hand one....) and a bit frivolous anyway. Then there's the problem with conflict diamonds....
But they are so lovely and sparkly, I reply.
So get one in CZ, he says. No-one will know.
But I will! And it's just not the same, is it?

CMOTDibbler · 25/07/2012 17:08

I plan on one for our 20th wedding anniversary. Don't know anyone who got one after their first child

kate2boysandabump · 25/07/2012 17:14

I'd love one, but I didn't get one for either of the first 2 children.

We did save the money for one on our 10th wedding anniversary last February, but by then we'd decided to have another baby and move house and it seemed a bit frivolous. When things are more settled I'm sure I'll get one. Maybe when I'm 40 ........ or 50!!

Sweetiepetal · 25/07/2012 17:20

I didn't get anything straight after the birth, but I did get a Mulberry bag for 'surviving the first year'!

cocolepew · 25/07/2012 17:21

Also, I only got mine because we got a tax rebate!

Pandemoniaa · 25/07/2012 17:23

I got a pint of real ale for having ds1 (delivered to my hospital bed). Right then it was worth more than any diamonds in the world!

Anypointinseeingdoc · 25/07/2012 17:26

I would have liked one but as I didn't get an engagement ring or a wedding ring it wasn't very realistic to expect one. My mum got one when she had been married for many years and my parents always scoffed at people who got them after a couple of years. I think their way of seeing it is that you have to be married for an eternity first. I first heard of the tradition of buying it after the first child was born on a soap opera.

I am a bit chippy as I have never had any decent presents from DH, ever. By decent I don't mean expensive, I just mean something where you don't burst into tears when you open it. I was surprised when I went to an ante-natal group and I was the only person not proudly sporting a new ring.

It is my 40th this year and he has told me he is already planning my present (I told him he had to get me one) but it is not a thing, it is an "experience" which I am taking to mean skydiving or bungee jumping which I won't want to do. I have told him that but it fell on deaf ears.

WaitingForMe · 25/07/2012 17:37

I wear my mothers on my right hand so don't want another ring. DH is getting me a charm for my bracelet.

I feel a degree of entitlement to a piece of jewellery for carrying and giving birth to his child but it goes both ways and the bottle of whisky I've bought him as a thank you for impregnating and supporting me probably cost more than my charm will.

Flip

1 2