to cut the grass at 2pm on a weekday afternoon

[workshy]

apparently I am

next door have got their grand daughter staying for 2 weeks -I didn't know
she is a toddler and naps 2-3 -I didn't know

apparently she has missed her afternoon nap because I cut the grass

neighbour has asked me not to make noise in the garden during this time, or hoover the rooms adjoining their house (low hum, thick walls, very little noise transfer)

she has also asked me not to smoke in the garden while GD is there, apparently she has been meaning to ask me anyway as it's offensive -I have a 50ft garden, smoke at the bottom end, so about 60ft away from her house and I have a maximum of 3 a day and yes I know smoking is a filthy habbit but it's not illegal and I don't smoke if anyone else is out in their garden

WIBU to write her a list of all the things that she does that annoys me?

I'd tell her to fuck off and probably wouldn't be that polite about it.

Is she normally a pain in the arse?

oh dear.

Well, in the interests of good neighbourly relations, you could always make a bit of an effort. It's always best to try to get along with the neighbours - unless they are totally piss taking of course. So keep the noise down between those hours for the next two weeks. But the smoking I think I'd say no, sorry, I am in my own garden and 60ft away from you and I am not going to do anything further about it.

I, OTOH, would be totally childish and say "Oh yes, I'll do that, while we're talking about things that annoy each other - please stop doing, X, Y and Z. I so so glad we had this little chat. There's several other things I have been meaning to tell you about, I'll write a list and get back to you. Ta-tah"

But then, I'm a bitch

I don't smoke and admit that I hate the smell of it but I would not dream of demanding requesting that anyone stop smoking in their own garden / property.

As regarding the mowing and hoovering tell her that white noise is helpful in getting children to settle down.

She is BU - different matter if you were holding a rave!

My neighbours smoke in their garden. Sometimes they smoke weed. Anyway it comes in our windows and stinks up our house to the extent that we have to shut them in this weather.

So I can see your neighbours' point tbh.

Well, I'd make abit of a effort re nap time. I have asked neighbours in the past not to make too much noise until ds was asleep.

However, re. the smoking, I would tell her to fuck off! My garden, my lungs, not your problem!!

How very odd. I wouldn;t dream of telling a neighbour not to cut the grass at that time of day. Or not to smoke. Althought I do hate it when our neighbour stinks my house out with her smoking outside my window.

God YANBU and I say this as someone who HATES noise.

PFB grandchild?

Smile, nod, carry on as you were ...

Do you really Bonkey?

What do you class as to much noise?

I'm interested as our neighbours have a newborn and we've carried on as normal.

Would you be offended if they asked you to not let your child cry at night when they are trying to get to sleep?

I think it's her who should be thinking of neighbour relations...Pick your battles and all that. Mowing the lawn at 2pm is acceptable, what if that's the only time you can possibly do it? Smoking, yeah it's a pain but unless you're smoking cigars I think that's something she'll have to suck up (or move.)

I won't even be in most days at this time so I will obviously comply

the list of things that annoys me includes her parking so close to the edge of my drive that it makes it difficult to get in and out (she doesn't have a drive, I do)
hanging her washing immeadiately outside her her house rather than in her garden so that when I try to get past with my bike, or go to the bins I have to negotiate her washing
she burns paper in the back garden (pressumably bills etc) with no warning while all my windows are open
she uses a stinky chip pan with her kitchen door open so the smell comes into my house

but she is pretty quiet and keeps herself to herself (as do I) so I sharn't kick off

but I will keep smoking out there

You can't possibly expect other people to change their lives for your child/grand child to nap that's just madness!

terrace house, I have right of access and no other way to take the bikes round if that point didn't make any sense

I think its OK they asked about the mowing - assuming that it doesn't inconvenience you too much to avoid noisy jobs at this time. They'd BU to get upset (a) before you knew about their GDs problem sleeping with noise (which is unusual... my DD was a poor napper, white noise tended to help, the most amazing when she slept 3 solid hours when a tree we'd had felled was being chipped!) .. and (b) if it really was the only time you could do such tasks. I'd try to be accommodating, and ask them to let me know next time she visits if she still needs quiet for a nap.

They are BU about the smoking. I hate smoke, but cheerfully put up with our (otherwise extremely lovely) neighbour having a cigar down the bottom of his garden on nice evenings.

Yanbu but they are! What a cheek and yes I would mention irritating things that she does seeing as she bought up subject.

and workshy I hope you remember to:
don't flush your loo
don't break wind loudly
no noisy afternoon delight
and if you have to drive anywhere, release your handbrake and push your car to the end of the road, then start the engine

You haven't got a dog have you

HOw did they ask, what was their manner? Was It a would-you-mind-because or was it a just-don't?

I'd go along with the mowing, but not the hoovering - if as you say there are thick walls, it cannot be at a level to disturb PFB-GC. But I would point out that it would have been helpful if they had spoken to you before the arrival of PFB-GC.

And as for the smoking which I hate, you are 60' from her back door, it is unlikely to drift in. I would point out that that is an unreasonable request on their part.

YANBU - although I do dream of stuffing the strimmer of the man who does next door's garden right where the sun don't shine! He revs it up and down for seemingly hours!

I saw her in the garden just after 3, and I said 'oh, hello, have you got a little visitor?' (see how polite I am) and then she went into this ramble about her being grumpy because she hadn't had her nap (GD, not the neighbour) and then she said 'she naps 2-3 so if you could keep the noise down' and then she just kept on talking.....

X-posted, missed your last post OP.

"she burns paper in the back garden (pressumably bills etc) with no warning while all my windows are open
she uses a stinky chip pan with her kitchen door open so the smell comes into my house"

Definitely bounce her on the smoking request then. Indeed, I'd smoke outside my kitchen door and exhale in her direction.

She's asking for consideration but is not one to give it, it would seem. Perhaps follow Hecate's idea on her reciprocating then?

I don't like the smell of smoke, and lawnmowers can be annoying. I can't imagine trying dictate to my neighbours if/when they can do perfectly normal stuff on their own property though, that sounds a bit mad! It's just part of living in a normal residential street surely?

Small children tend to make a fair amount of noise themselves anyway!

Bloody cheek. I'd have a hard time remaining 100% polite in the face of those ridiculous requests.

Tell that until such a time that she can afford her own neighbourless castle, with its own moat and its own drawbridge that she should deal with it.

Also, have an archer (loads in the country at the moment I believe) pin a list of her annoying foibles to her front door via bow and arrow.

Well if it´s only 2-3 then I can´t see the problem tbh-but it´s only the mowing that I wouldn´t do.

I may be tempted to ignore the mowing. I'd consider going to the bedroom making loads of sex noises for an hour recreate the When Harry Met Sally scene and THEN go into your garden for a fag!

YANBU