AIBU to be frustrated with MIL's lack of decision making?

[SpottedGurnard]

Went out for dinner last night to celebrate DPs graduation. We had been travelling all day on the train and I hadn't had much to eat all day.

We didn't arrive at hotel until 8 (due to a ridiculous diversion to pick fil up from a train station because he couldn't be bothered to change trains but that is a whooole other thread). So booked a table in the restaurant for 8.30- which is already much later than I would eat normally so I was starving!

MIL and FIL arrived half an hour late due to dealing with the latest crisis in adult SIL's life.

MIL took an HOUR to decide what to eat An hour!!! Even when the waitress arrived after the hour she insisted on going last.

It was so late by the time we ate that it just ruined the meal.

AIBU to have wanted to shout "just make a decision!!!!" at her?

YANBU, and they ABU for being late to dinner at that time

This would have driven me mad too, I hate eating so late and then I can never sleep afterwards.

You'll have to tell us what she picked in the end?

She ordered food at 10pm for an 8.30 reservation? YA soooo NBU

I would have ordered without her, and just said "well when you make up your mind, let us know and we'll call the waitress to take your order MiL" - the more you enable her arsery, the more she will carry on doing it. If you just take it in stride and get on with your meal (or whatever you're all doing) she'll soon stop, It's a ploy for attention and self aggradisement.

So you ate after 10 pm, is their life always like this, nothing is ever simple, straightforward etc?

I dying to know what the SIL latest crisis was? Why didn't she come as well?

Oh, nearly forgot YANBU, did you eat all the bread?

I agree with PomBear. You should've just ordered your food after a reasonable time then ignored any subsequent bleating. Try and treat her as you would a naughty toddler....ignore bad behaviour and respond to good.

Oh the waitress, chefs and kitchen staff will all have been thinking the same thing - just choose.

I would have just eaten her by that point.

YANBU!

I own a restaurant and tbh, i would have told her she needed to order. Our last orders are at 9pm midweek.
However, my pils are always late. Last time we went out i was 39 weeks pg had bad spd and dd was with us (was 6 at the time). We didn't wait. when they were 15 minutes late dh and his sister insisted on ordering. I couldn't eat late as my acid was bad and dd was getting hungry.
MIL was really put out, but fil told her to be quiet. They are usually late because she is never ready on time. It made him feel less guilty about being late.
So I would have ordered, if you felt uncomfortable about that I would have inisted on ordering after at 15 minutes (at the most) and told her that I was hungry and she could order when she was ready.

Wow, she was defo BU!

I am sure dinnertime in their house is a barrel of laughs if she can't even decide what she wants when someone else is cooking it for her

YANBU, how rude. I would have ordered anyway after 15 minutes of indecision.

One hour!?!? A whole fucking hour?!? I'm simply gobsmacked.
YANBU. This isn't just lack of decision making, this is a completely different level!
Was she very distressed over something else?

Argh! You are not being unreasonable and if I was you I would never bother eating out with them ever again. I hate people like your MIL!

SIL's latest crisis was that she had an interview the next day and had only just opened a file they had sent her to prepare and found it wouldn't open in excel. So from 300mls away MIL and PIL attempted to solve it instead of SIL going onto the internet and downloading the latest version.

She ordered steak and salad in the end but she got very flustered because she wanted a few chips. Morbidly obese FIL ordered a full rack of ribs with chicken and chips.

I can't stand it. If it was my mum I would've told her to hurry up once everyone else had decided. My dad is ex-military so everything is very well organised when we go out and runs to plan-bliss!

We also had the "Do I need my waterproof mac or not?" today with MIL. We were running very late (wouldn't have happened with my dad running the show ) and took up valuable time!

An hour!?!

How did you sit there for an hour without killing/eating/killing her?

catus- she is constantly distressed/ overly anxious. I put it down to FIL being the biggest arse I have ever met and her not wanting to upset him.

My sympathies! I know everyone can be infuriating at times, but this would take the biscuits!
Avoid eating out with them in future, maybe?

I was ready to sympathise as I'm the world's worse ditherer about decision making. But then read an hour to choose what to eat. Sounds though she is completely stressed out and nervous. Could you say something like the waiter/waitress wants the order now. We'll give ours. Do you want us to choose for you. In an nice way!

An hour!! No one comes between me and food! I'd have waited until the waiter came over to see whether we were ready to order and just gone ahead and ordered and told her we would leave her til last to order to give her an extra minute!!

YANBU.

My bitch of a sister in law did a very similar thing the first time I met her and BIL.

My SIL is seriously fucked up manipulative, paranoid and controlling. Is your MIL the same? Or just a head in the clouds type?

I just don't know whether all of us ordering ans putting her under pressure would help. I would worry that it would send her into such a spin that she jst wouldn't decide.

It works with my own mum if she is dithering a bit over what to have to eat but she would see the funny side.

The crazy thing is that MIL is a headteacher so she must have to make big decisions at work!

seriously?! is she always like that??

Is she only like this around your FIL? It sounds a bit sad TBH, but I'm not sure I could stand it!
Maybe you could order some starters and she could decide while you're eating that?

onebigwish- I don't think it's controlling with her. I think she is so worried about doing something wrong and FIL saying something.

She was driving us with FIL in the front and knew what signs to follow but kwpt having to double check and triple check with FIL that she was going the right way.

I could write a book about how much of a bastard FIL is.