Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So he was fine about breaking up - but he wants a ban on us seeing other people??

51 replies

GreenLivingRoom · 25/07/2012 09:20

So basically after lots of "lets break up" "lets get back together" "oh lets break up again" "actually lets get back together" - I decided enough was enough and that we should break for good. I was expecting him to take it badly like he always does so got a shock when he said "yeah I agree, it's not working - lets just be friends".

Wow - he's never been so laid back about us breaking up but I was so relieved and it's a huge weight off my mind.

He then said however, that he wants us to have a "buffer zone" of around 2 months before we start seeing other people??? I was like "err ok but that might not work out, what if we meet someone we really like?" and he replied that no - we must resist for two months until we're totally over it Hmm

So when I got home I decided to log into his email account (yes I know but I was just curious this time and a bit confused) and he'd actually met someone the day before we "broke up". After our "break up talk" he'd emailed her and said how great it was to meet her, how she looked "gorg" and how she brightens up the store (!!) and how she has amazing taste in dresses and how he can "see her belly" on her holiday photos.

He's BLATENTLY into her!! So shall I take his "buffer zone" to mean he wants ME to resist other people for 2 months until HE'S found someone else??

OP posts:
MrsHelsBels74 · 25/07/2012 09:22

What a tool, sorry not much help but honestly why are some men so pathetic? What he wants is to be a stud whilst imagining you are at home pining for him.

Sorry am tired, hot & hormonal today Angry

glenthebattleostrich · 25/07/2012 09:22

Erm you've broken up so it's really nothing to do with him who you see. Tell him to sod off and stop logging into his email, he's no longer anything to do with you!

kinkyfuckery · 25/07/2012 09:22

Tell him to fuck off.
And stop looking at his emails.

Do you have children together?

scentednappyhag · 25/07/2012 09:22

Sounds messy, just call it a day. He doesn't need to know if you're seeing anyone, so this strange 'buffer' is a really pointless idea.
Yes, sounds like he wants to see this other woman, but does it matter? You're over, concentrate in your happiness.
And leave his email alone Wink

LeB0F · 25/07/2012 09:22

'Yeah yeah whatever love'. Then do what you like.

controlpantsandgladrags · 25/07/2012 09:23

Yes thats exactly what you should take it to mean. Or he wants to keep you on stand by in case things don't work out with your replacement. Cheeky fucker.

dreamingbohemian · 25/07/2012 09:23

Oh my lord. The cheek! I have no idea why he thinks it's reasonable to say that to you but obviously it's just asinine. The whole point of breaking up is that you are no longer together and you can do whatever you want.

Just tell him no, you'll do what you want, thanks.

Also think about whether you really want to stay friends with him. You don't have to. IME it's so much easier to get past a breakup if you have no contact, at least for a while.

Lora1982 · 25/07/2012 09:24

pffft what a sod. he cant tell u what to do. ignore him.... and log back into his email and send that girls an email explaining he cant see her cos of his stupid buffer time lolz what a dick.

Paiviaso · 25/07/2012 09:24

This situation is ridiculous. Stop interacting with him. You are now broken up. Stay broken up. Obviously when you break up with someone, you both become single and you can date who you please.

Do you have children together? If not, then stop talking to him.

You are making this much more complicated than it should be!

dreamingbohemian · 25/07/2012 09:25

Oh actually control has nailed it, he wants to put you on standby until he knows what's up with this other woman.

sugarice · 25/07/2012 09:26

He's a Prat, cut off all contact and move on.

FallenCaryatid · 25/07/2012 09:27

He's still trying to control you, don't let him.
You are free now.

TheCrackFox · 25/07/2012 09:28

He wants you as his back up plan.

If you are 13 snog his best mate but if you are an adult cease any contact with him. He sounds like a selfish arse.

WicketyPitch · 25/07/2012 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 25/07/2012 09:32

He's a twat. Ignore.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 25/07/2012 09:32

What a tosser he sounds. Tell him to fuck off.

EasilyBored · 25/07/2012 09:33

Since you have broken up, and are no longer together, it is precisely Fuck. All. of his business what you choose to do.

LesleyPumpshaft · 25/07/2012 09:33

Just ignore him, cut him out of your life and then do whatever you want. He has no right to expect you to stay single for two months after you have split. This is your choice!

HecateHarshPants · 25/07/2012 09:37

bollocks to him. Ignore completely.

confusedpixie · 25/07/2012 09:47

You've broken up! It's none of his business what you do! Ignore him YANBU.

FWIW, I had a week or two between my ex and getting the ball rolling with my DP now! So I be BU and slightly biased! Grin

Original poster
GreenLivingRoom · 25/07/2012 09:49

Well I kind of have to ignore him as I have a date this weekend Blush

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 25/07/2012 09:50

Your ex is being a hypocritical, unreasonable, manipulative scumbag. And you should have realised it already!

You are unreasonable to have looked at his emails. Don't do it again. He's your ex. Move on.

Change the password to your own email account, in case he's looking at your emails too.

geegee888 · 25/07/2012 09:51

He wants 2 months to see if it will work out with this new woman. If not, he will no doubt try to get back with you, which he can't do if you've met someone else in that time. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he had been doing this repeatedly through your relationship, but has just changed the wording. I can see his logic, doesn't mean he isn't an absolute tool!

Fireandashes · 25/07/2012 09:52

Good for you, Green.

If anyone said that to me, my response - once I'd stitched up the splits in my side from laughing - would be in the region of "jog on, kitty".

CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/07/2012 09:52

I think the expression you're looking for is 'nice try'. :) What a sad little control-freak he really is and how lucky that you're no longer saddled with him...