WIBU to send them back or say something

[imnotmymum]

OK. I have a Son who just turned 9. My step MIL has a DD who 9 and a bit. We do only see each other a couple of times a year as live in differing parts of country but speak, text regularly so always in contact. We have conversation about kids and her DD is large for her age and then we discuss my DS who is tall but skinny and we discuss best places for clothes etc. she does call him "small" but he is not just sporty and a healthy weight. On his birthday they sent him a tshirt and shorts. The t shirt fine (although not his thing as a character top of something he not into but ...) but the shorts were age 11-12 and so obviously would not fit him and she would have been aware as we spoke the previous week. My DH is cross as it seems thoughtless and my DS is not really bothered as easy come easy go but should I mention it or ask her to change them or just leave it?

because she sent him present prob with best of intentions and ur acting silly tbh-thats why you shouldn't say anything

Also, to continue adding to my posts... If I'm giving clothing presents I always include a gift receipt so that they can be swapped for the right size/something they like without any embarassment.

"I feel she thinks he ought to be bigger when she says he "small" he is not at all just normal whereas her DD is a ladies 12 and gets stuff shortened Is she making the point I should fatten him up ?? Or am I just bonkers Ok I can take it"

You are reading a lot into her comments about your son being "small" and yet you come across very sneery about the poor little girl.

It's a gift, it will fit him at some point and you said it yourself that he wasn't upset about it.

Why should you have to put up eith people buying your children presents? Seriously . Now your just beginning to sound ungrateful to be honest. She was probably in the shop thinking, the size down looked a bit small, then remembered you mentioned he was tall and thought what if they're not long enough, and decided that at least if they were too big you'd get use out of them eventually, whereas if they were too small they'd be useless. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.

You're

No not ungrateful or sneery about her DD we adore her but I believe sometimes she is making it normal for her DD to be that size. That is not an issue I was just asking if it would be OK to send back to exchange for something he could wear. As a point regarding buying pressies that not really "useful" I was just saying that why should we go oh another gift children can not use/fit/ are not into when really we put a effort into buying appropriate gifts.

Why can't you exchange them yourself?

Why are you assuming she put no effort into it? Most of this thread has pointed out how normal it is to err on the side of caution and go bigger when buying children's clothes, it's not a sign of thoughtlessness at all.

Why have you even mentioned her daughter in so much detail? The size thing seems to be your issue not hers.

My inlaws do this- but because the size they send is in the sale, and the size that would fit it is still full price

Why should you put up with it?!
What are you on about?

I am often given clothes too big from well meaning relatives...even if they know the kids builds and so on...

I get stuff aged 7 for my 4 yr old from dh's aunt a lot - she finds a bargain, thinks he'll grow into it, and buys it. I stuff the item into a drawer and forget about it for three years. It's a bit daft, and does make me go a bit...but I'm not offended by it.

In short...come back down to earth. What you describe is common and doesn't matter.

Trellis - it's the same with dh's aunt. She buys things in the sale.

It's not worth falling out over. I have received odd sized stuff - just keep until it fits or sling into the charity shop if it's annoying you. I would find it embarrassing to challenge her on the sizing - she might have thought it looked ok despite what the label said. She might have put no thought in whatsoever. Who knows, but I would let it go.

Guess it is a sale thing she has a drawer with pressies in and I guess she dipped in and plucked out a boy present. I do not think I gone into detail about her DD it just made the point that we talk often about size and how she is getting her DD to diet etc so well aware of my DS size that all. Think I am down on the planet earth was just asking if it was etiquette to ask for a change of size. I did not realise it was common to buy something not the correct size pictish but I do now.

Sizing can be quite difficult, if you can't try it out on the target in the shop.

She might actually have spent ages vacillating in front of the different sizes. Or perhaps she normally only buys girls clothes from there, and she thinks the girls' range is generally small, so she assumed the boys' range would be, too.

I can't even buy well-fitting clothes for me just by looking at it on the rack.

I have the same issue with dh's uncle - his granddaughter is 5 weeks older than our ds but in much bigger clothes than her age, whereas ds is in smaller clothes than his age. I think it maybe because he has experienced people buying things for his granddaughter that are no use because they don't fit. I just say thank you and shove them in a box under ds's bed for him to grow into. I'd never think there is any malice in it.

If we're talking inappropriate gifts...my father's present to our son on his 5th was................a drinking game!

He just saw bright colours I think.
That'll do.

pictish at least I could have used that ...

I'd hang on to them for when they fit...actually....have you tried them on him? Maybe they are not as big as you think?
I don't think its worth getting bothered about,to be honest.

And to add to innappropriate gifts: When I was about 12, my grandmother bought me a nightie for a birthday (xmas?) present. It was a bright orange, frilly nylon, see-through, baby-doll ,with matching see-through knickers. What was she thinking about??? It was a case of "Thanks Nan, that's ..err.. lovely!" and hidden away afterwards! I think she just liked the colour,too!

Yes it was funny they just fell down !!

Ah ,well! At least you tried!

You're over-thinking it. The too-big shorts are not some kind of calculated insult or dig at your DS's size: why would it be? Just let it go. When she asks you can tell her they've been put away until they fit. They will eventually!

I guess you all right

YA over thinking this. I would put them away until he grows into them.

JJB Sports sell kappa so maybe they would let you exchange for a smaller size.

YABU and ungrateful and really sound right a right loon. Honestly!

Be nice, say thanks, and chill out and keep the shirts for when he is bigger. OR say 'thanks so much for the shorts, they are great. Coming up a little large tho, don't suppose you have a gift receipt so I can swap them a size down so he can wear them no without waiting till next year?"

Seriously it is people like you who read too much into actions or words and cause massive fall outs where there was no initial bad intention.

You are overthinking this. She was not being thoughtless, just unsure and going for something he can grow into rather than something too small already. Thoughtless was the 3-6 month size linen shorts and top my October born DD got for Christmas. Right size. Totally wrong season. Top didn't even go over her head by the time it was vaguely warm enough.