I've posted about this friend before; my oldest friend but it's a v one-sided relationship. Sometimes I feel more like her counsellor than her friend, our entire rel/ship is built around her problems and she has never showed any interest in mine or my life (FWIW I do have good other friends; I made this friend at a v bad stage in my life and now it's difficult/impossible to disentangle myself...)
In the past the only real interest she has shown in my life is demanding to know when I'm going to get pg (so I can move nearer her; she seems to think a logical result of getting pg is that I will suddenly have wads of dosh to buy a house next door to her?!!; also so that I can 'give up work' (I have no intention of doing this; I like my job and we need the £) so I can 'hang out' with her and her kids more... She also has in the past demanded 'jokingly' if she is going to be the very first person I tell when I get pg, before my parents and everything... She is honestly that insecure that this kind of thing really matters to her, though I literally know nobody else would would even jokingly demand to be the first person to know!!! (well, maybe my mother...)
Anyway, I'm seeing her tomorrow and am torn about whether to tell her the news or not. I'm only 6 weeks so we're obviously limiting the news just yet. And (gasp!) I have actually already told a few people now, DH's family, we're telling mine this week, and I've told another v close friend. This particular old friend I'm talking about probably does regard herself as my best friend and so she'd obviously under normal circumstances be one of the few I tell at this stage.
BUT what would you do? Basically I have a sinking depressed feeling at the thought of telling her only to have her come back at me instantly with a load of questions about HERSELF (am I the first to know? When are you moving closer to me? Can I be godmother?). OTOH she is going to do this whenever I tell her, PLUS if I tell her at a later stage (a few more weeks or after a 12w scan) she is obviously going to be able to do the maths and will know that she hasn't been told right away. I KNOW this shouldn't matter (it's my baby!!!) but she is the kind of person who will sulk/be upset and it will just mean that for the rest of the pregnancy she is arsey and touchy and defensive when I speak to her. I realise I am portraying her as a nightmare but she is my oldest friend and in some ways we are more like sisters (our families are close).
I don't even know why I am asking the question really as obviously (assuming all goes ok) she is going to know at some stage!! And as I say she will be just as demanding whenever she knows, plus potentially upset if she feels excluded...
What would MN do? Tell her tomorrow or delay the inevitable?
I suppose part of me feels that she has been such a bad friend that I am not sure I can face pretending that she is in some way one of the few close people we are telling as it will only increase her sense that she is a great friend when in fact she has been the opposite for many years now :(