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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is cheeky?

35 replies

alphabite · 23/07/2012 10:32

I freecycled lots of things over the past week in a massive declutter. Most of it went to really good homes (I think!) and pleasant people. One woman wanted a few pieces which was fine but she came around this morning and said 'Do ya mind if I sell some things on?' AIBU to think this is cheeky?

There was a young girl who wanted some of this stuff too to do up her first home but the first woman beat her too it by messaging me first. I wish it had gone to the 2nd girl.
I was so gobsmacked I still gave her the stuff. I love freecycle for those pieces I can't get to a charity shop (furniture mainly) but this has made me re think.
I don't think I'd mind so much if she'd a bit more pleasant about it!

OP posts:
elizaregina · 23/07/2012 10:42

YABU

thats the nature of freecyle, you are coming into contact with joe public, some people will take your stuff and sell it anyway, thats just what happens, I think it was actually nice of the lady to ask you in fact, she didnt have too....as I am sure most dont....

you could have said - oh, well actually in that case do you mind if i give it to another lady as she needs it do to up her home, it was still you stuff.

also as you said you could have simply waited for replies to come in then choose who you want to give it too.

I let alot of stuff go to anyone, and more special stuff tend to give it to people who ask nicely!

I would like more special stuff to go to good homes but its out of my control and mind once I have ....given..it ...away!!

Littleprincessrocks · 23/07/2012 10:43

YANBU - when I give through freecycle I want the items to go to the more needy than the greedy.
And indeed when I recieved items through freecycle I only asked to be considered for the items I genuinely needed, not to sell on. And when I have finished with them if they are still in good working order they will go on freecycle, or given to a struggling friend.

That said, you can never garuantee where your items will go with freecycle. You can put a disclaimer saying "not for reselling" or "not for carboot", but once they have your items they become theirs.

You could see if your local hospice, or any local charities collect items. My sister donated an old side board to a hospice, and they collected the item for her.

LentillyFart · 23/07/2012 10:46

YABU. Once you've decided to give something away and then actually do give it away it's bugger all of your business what anyone does with it. As for someone coming back to ask if they can sell it on?? Do what? Like THAT ever happens!

Original poster
alphabite · 23/07/2012 10:52

Thanks everyone.

LentillyFart. She came round this morning to collect the items. She didn't come BACK to ask to resell them. She asked when she collected.

OP posts:
MrsHelsBels74 · 23/07/2012 10:55

I think it is cheeky & goes against the whole idea of what freecycle is about, but at the same time you can't dictate what the people you give to do with the stuff.

Original poster
alphabite · 23/07/2012 10:57

Yeah you are right MrsHelsBels74. I guess I will just have to state no reselling on my ad but then it's in fates hands as they might do it anyway.

Oh well at least it means the stuff is picked up.

OP posts:
TheMonster · 23/07/2012 10:57

It's very cheeky.

Noqontrol · 23/07/2012 11:18

Well i guess she asked you. Thats quite unusual. It doesn't mean shes not needy because shes selling it, she might need to buy something more important. Im quite impressed she asked you tbh.

LentillyFart · 23/07/2012 11:20

What do you hope to achieve by stating 'no reselling'? You have no control over the stuff once it is in someone else's possession - what makes you think you do?

patosullivan · 23/07/2012 11:22

YANBU to think it's cheeky.

But stating 'no reselling' isn't going to stop people doing it, they just won't tell you that's what they're planning!

Mrsjay · 23/07/2012 11:23

the whole ethos of freecycle is to be enviromental (sp) in reality some folk will ebay stuff and make some money I guess you were just stung with this woman. once it is in the hands of another you cant stop them selling it on,

Original poster
alphabite · 23/07/2012 11:26

Yeah I guess you are right. Maybe everyone I've sent stuff to has ebayed it anyway! I just didn't know in the past.

LentillyFart - I didn't say I thought I should have control of the stuff once it's in someone else's possession.

OP posts:
tethersend · 23/07/2012 11:28

YABU- exactly as Lentilly says.

Once something is not yours, you have no say in what happens to it. once you give something to someone, it's theirs, not yours.

Imagine if your employer told you how to spend your wages?

tethersend · 23/07/2012 11:29

The other girl doing up her home could have been lying and was actually planning to sell the stuff on. For crack.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 23/07/2012 11:31

I don't think it's cheeky, but I would be annoyed if I thought my stuff could have gone to a 'better' home than to someone who was just going to sell it on.

Apart from maybe specifying in your ads that you'd like items to go to people who really need them, and waiting a few days to collect responses so that you can choose the person you want to give it to, there's not much you can do though.

Original poster
alphabite · 23/07/2012 11:32

''The other girl doing up her home could have been lying and was actually planning to sell the stuff on. For crack.''

Haha. True!

OP posts:
PenisVanLesbian · 23/07/2012 11:33

I can't be doing with people who want their unwanted gubbins to go to a "good home". Most of the time its saving you the time and money in going to a dump, its not about doling out your stuff to whoever is most worthy.
Seems to be a common thought, but really, get over it. It's preciousness.

Birdsgottafly · 23/07/2012 11:35

I hate freecycle because of this. It is stoping charities from distributing stuff to people that really need it.

lottiegb · 23/07/2012 11:46

If it's saleable sell it yourself, if you can't be bothered (ebay is more effort) and opt for freecycle, you've made your choice. People shouldn't re-sell but they do.

whois · 23/07/2012 11:59

At least she asked, I think a lot of people try and get loads of stud offered and make up sob stories and resell.

I offered loads of stuff a few weeks ago, and a couple of people emailed about EVERYTHING and it was a very divers range of things offered. There is no way someone would have had a genuine need for all the stuff.

Also one guy never turned up or answered any more emails, loads of people didn't say thanks. Really put me off using it TBH. I had a much more positive experience a few years ago the last time I had a clear out.

I think they whole thing would be better of it was an eBay like thing so you soulf see who had offered what and more importantly, go had TAKEN things. Really hard and expensive to police I know, so it won't happen.

Hopin · 23/07/2012 12:10

Freecycle - as in "recycle", rather than throw away.

Its nice to get that warm glow of feeling like you've helped someone out. It was polite of the lady to ask about selling things on. Perhaps they are hard-up at the moment.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 23/07/2012 12:29

Penis, it's not preciousness. I DO like the feeling of passing stuff on to what I think/hope are going to be good homes. And I think a lot of other people do too. Deal with it.

KirstyJC · 23/07/2012 12:31

Our freecycle group has banned people who are known to resell the stuff, as it's not in the spirit of the group.

I think YANBU - it wsa incredibly cheeky of her and in your shoes I would have said no and then shut the door on her. But then I'm rude like that!Grin

Viviennemary · 23/07/2012 12:35

It is a shame that people like this spoil freecycle. Somebody recommended it to me to get rid of stuff. But to be quite honest I'd rather give it to charity. And I'd leave taking things from freecycle to people that really can't afford things. So it's not for me I'm afraid.

RevoltingChildren · 23/07/2012 12:36

YAnbu. Our local few cycle had also banned people for reselling

A lot is posters on our group use a fair offer policy where they state they will wait a set amount of time before offering items to give everyone a chance to ask.