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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that Facebook makes you hate your friends?

43 replies

MistyRocks · 23/07/2012 10:04

ok maybe Hate is too strong a word.... sometimes

But it seems to turn people who are perfectly nice, normal and fun to be around in real life into annoying twats online

and honestly, there are one or 2 of my previously close mates that i just can't be doing with as much anymore as they are so annoying on facebook

there are the braggers "how great is my life" showing off about new cars, new houses, new home stuff, holidays, nights out, weekends away etc etc

the miserable fuckers "life is so shit " and sometimes a simple " :,( " as their status

the highly cryptic status posters, ie "one of my so called friends has really let me down" or similar, cue loads of comments "whats up hun" etc etc and the perpetrator of the status either totally ignores it or responds "i'll pm you hun"

the ones that use it as like, a social bragging platform, ie "so and so is at (super cool bar / restaurant / club that kind of thing) with so and so and so and so" then they all keep commenting on the status and talking about it afterwards

and yes, i know about the "Hide" button. but quite honestly some of it is compulsive reading Confused

and the worst of it?? I Am Probably Guilty of MANY of these facebook sins either recently or in the past. Blush

i just think it brings out the WORST in people. yet - what did we do before it? i can't remember life without it and I am 32 ffs not 15!

OP posts:
fireice · 23/07/2012 10:06

I think that facebook can make you like people less, but that is because you probably didnt realise before that they were as annoying as they are, IYSWIM.
Not everyone is annoying on fb.

Sallyingforth · 23/07/2012 10:07

I have news for you. Some of us live very happily without FB. Ever heard of email?

TheMonster · 23/07/2012 10:07

YANBU. To be fair though, I hated everyone to start with.

sensuallettuce · 23/07/2012 10:08

I often wonder if I am annoying on FB Confused.

My OH is away though and I am lonely Blush :(

BigBandwitch · 23/07/2012 10:08

No!

There are a few people I used to like MORE than I do now because I added them on fb, it's all oooh I played to a packed out concert hall on Tuesday, 14 years since I married the man of my dreams!

I never put up status reports because bragging would be pointless. But I don't need to brag thank god.

LentillyFart · 23/07/2012 10:09

Anyone on my FB who used the word 'hun' would be off shit-hot-quick! But YANBU - I'm forever rolling my eyes at some of the shite that gets posted and I amuse myself by having a little bet about how many other people are frantically using the 'hide story' function!

PenisVanLesbian · 23/07/2012 10:09

Nope. I have only people I know and like on my FB.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2012 10:09

I like reading my friends status updates ,YABU

Are you sure your updates don't annoy people too?

cardibach · 23/07/2012 10:21

As is often the case, it isn't a probelm with facebook, it is a problem with your facebook friends. None of that with mine. I like being able to keep up to date with stuff you would know about friends you see every day but which isn't imprtatn enought to phone/write/email about. I have a lot of school and University friends on mine.

Latara · 23/07/2012 10:21

I like Facebook; got in touch with cousins who i'm now good RL friends with; & found other relatives who live far away.. also met new men on there (one i dated, 2 i speak to regularly). 2 close friends have married thanks to FB.

But... work parties in restaurants are no fun now because evil people (aka certain colleagues) with cameras take photos when we are eating!

It's really irritating because when i eat i like to relax, enjoy the food & maybe chat, NOT be worrying about the next dodgy photo that i'll get tagged in...
I have tag review but those photos are still on my colleagues' pages :(

(OK, vanity is bad. I know. But i don't want my photo taken when i'm stuffing my face eating.)

Also my best mate (who is not on FB) went on holiday for a week with her sister 100s of miles away from her new flat... Her sister told the world via public update on FB - 5 minutes after they left!!

cardibach · 23/07/2012 10:21

SO yes, YABU.

rainydaysarebad · 23/07/2012 10:21

YANBU. I hate those "new purchase" updates.

I'm following a person/group called Fun Substance on Instagram, and they always post funny pictures and quotes, and the other day they posted a pic with the quote:

"I used to always want to know what people were thinking, then I opened a Facebook account, and now I'm over it."

kim147 · 23/07/2012 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2012 10:28

I will use my FB however I want. I don't give a stuff if my FB friends don't like it.

They can hide me or delete me, no skin of my nose

j3ssycat · 23/07/2012 10:32

Leave! I did and I don't miss it at all! My friend is undergoing therapy and one of the first things the counsellor said was to deactivate her facebook. I now spend less time being nosy, annoyed, jealous or scathing of people - which is a much more emotionally healthy thing for me. It definitely brought out the worst in me.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2012 10:34

Why would you be jealous of your friends?

PenisVanLesbian · 23/07/2012 10:35

If you are jealous and annoyed at people, thats YOU, that is, not facebook.

FB is just a vehicle, not a cause. Don't have twats on your list, and don't blame your ishoos on other people or inanimate computer programmes.

Margerykemp · 23/07/2012 10:46

Oh I agree so much. Fb really does get the green eyed monster going. But remember people only put on the life they want others to know about.

Mrsjay · 23/07/2012 10:51

IT makes you realise how annoying some of your friends can be brings out the worst in some , facebook is like thinking out loud some thoughts should be kept to themselves, but if we find them annoying then maybe they find us just as annoying ,

ComeBackasaFlower · 23/07/2012 10:54

Only one friend. DP's best friend is loathesome on FB, yet a perfectly pleasant chap IRL.

SamanthaStormer · 23/07/2012 11:11

YANBU. Absolutely cannot STAND those passive aggressive statuses that people post.
'So nice to know that I have some real friends, you know who you are. Glad to know who your TRUE friends are.'
Cue true friends wondering if they've pissed off said person in some way. If you have a problem with someone, why not say something TO them, instead of all this passive aggressive shit on FB?!

j3ssycat · 23/07/2012 11:55

Penis and usual, I am aware it is me - that us why I am not blaming others and am advocating removing oneself from this type of online interaction should if make you feel as it made me. I'm just trying to be open and helpful about it. Can't help but be jealous I can't afford a holiday when some facebook people I know are always off to exotic places- but I do know that I am being an idiot for any resentment and am not implying that they shouldn't have nice holidays.

SneakyNuts · 23/07/2012 11:58

I tend not to be friends with twats.

Any that slip through the net get deleted, it's that simple really.

Mintyy · 23/07/2012 12:01

Its interesting isn't it? So many people seem to have problems with fb. I think its just because you don't actually want or need to hear about the minutiae of anyone's life, no matter how much you like or love them. Meet up with your friends when you can, even if its only once every 5 years (as I do with one of my very closest friends who lives in Aus) and do rl stuff with them.

EmilieFloge · 23/07/2012 12:11

Facebook is just awful. I got invited pressganged intp joining up by so many people a few years ago, they all acted really offended that I didn't want to 'friend' them so eventually I gave in and joined. It was just like you describe.
I did have some fun initially, finding all the people I had ever known and asking them to be my friend,. then I ended up with 87 people I didn't really know, like or speak to and deleted almost everyone.
People at school were sometimes fine and sometimes so annoying or gossipy that I really felt uncomfortable having them as friends, didnt want them to see my pictures etc and then you end up with someone you see every single day being someone you want to ditch off fb, but you're too scared to because they will be upset. So you tell everyone you have left and hide your profile.
And then you WANT to contact someone but that would mean letting all the others back on so you just give up and leave, particularly as when you post something, however interesting/kind/whatever on someone's status thread and they ignore you it makes you want to do yourself in, because clearly you're socially useless.

Really when i see grown up women writing about their facebook problems yes, I do feel a bit of sympathy but then my immediate feeling is 'just leave facebook to the teenagers' because really it is a bit pathetic. Usually.

I make exceptions for those who genuinely have people a long way off that they want to keep in touch with - but the ones who have everyone they see every day on there? It's not necessary and your life will almost certainly be better without it.