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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that Facebook makes you hate your friends?

43 replies

MistyRocks · 23/07/2012 10:04

ok maybe Hate is too strong a word.... sometimes

But it seems to turn people who are perfectly nice, normal and fun to be around in real life into annoying twats online

and honestly, there are one or 2 of my previously close mates that i just can't be doing with as much anymore as they are so annoying on facebook

there are the braggers "how great is my life" showing off about new cars, new houses, new home stuff, holidays, nights out, weekends away etc etc

the miserable fuckers "life is so shit " and sometimes a simple " :,( " as their status

the highly cryptic status posters, ie "one of my so called friends has really let me down" or similar, cue loads of comments "whats up hun" etc etc and the perpetrator of the status either totally ignores it or responds "i'll pm you hun"

the ones that use it as like, a social bragging platform, ie "so and so is at (super cool bar / restaurant / club that kind of thing) with so and so and so and so" then they all keep commenting on the status and talking about it afterwards

and yes, i know about the "Hide" button. but quite honestly some of it is compulsive reading Confused

and the worst of it?? I Am Probably Guilty of MANY of these facebook sins either recently or in the past. Blush

i just think it brings out the WORST in people. yet - what did we do before it? i can't remember life without it and I am 32 ffs not 15!

OP posts:
BedHog · 23/07/2012 12:16

I quite like reading the good news, seeing the holiday pics and hearing about new babies, and the jokey statuses. Also the updates that are actually useful.

There are only three types of statuses that annoy me - the 'RIP John, you were a great guy' type, where you are left thinking 'Who is John? Someone famous? Someone I know? Your dog?' but you don't like to ask. The ':(' designed to get sympathy, when it turns out they've just got a bit of manflu or the shop had sold out of a dress they wanted to buy. And the endless links to David Icke websites, government conspiracies about vaccines, end of the world theories etc. (I had to block a FB friend for this, she seemed normal in rl)

I would have missed out on a lot of good things if I wasn't on facebook though.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2012 12:31

FB is not awful, you must all have the wrong sort of mates Grin

EmilieFloge · 23/07/2012 12:50

I definitely think I'm the wrong sort of person for it...I think you have to have a sociablly adaptable personality, be able to manage people very well even if you don't like them, and just have tons of excess energy to devote to making everyone else feel special and liked and as though they are your favourite person ever. Then it works.

I don't have that sort of energy - I only have a few real friends in real life and they're the sort that understand me and I understand them and it just works Ok. But that's about one friend per decade. Everyone else, frankly I find it a struggle to maintain even the everyday smalltalk, without getting worried or paranoid, and would happily live without those relationships.

So fb was never going to be my sort of thing. If it works for you without all the petty rubbish and upset, then by all means - go for it. Smile

smellyolddog · 23/07/2012 12:53

FB is a funny old thing, I don't post often but when I do it's normally about fun stuff to share with my sister who's lives overseas - BUT i have one "Friend" who comments on everything, absolutly everything I post. I get a like or comment, to the point now where me and DH see how long it takes, I've posted before about my stalker.

So I did go through a phase of writing random, "Humm just eaten breakfast" posts just to see how far it would go!! and yes there was the like within 10 minutes.

So to rid me of my stalker I now email my sister, and still play occasionally, i think FB is a bit of fun, and I do like seeing my friends lovely stuff and familys.

EmilieFloge · 23/07/2012 12:58

I had a lovely friend who used to do that. I think she was afraid that she had to say something or I'd think she didn't like me...or something, but it was almost everything I posted and I felt a bit embarrassed that people would see this and think 'Oh Emilie has got a follower!' as though I was enjoying the attention, when I wasn't really.

I didn't want to look like someone who liked having someone else say how brilliant I was all the time. (I'm not brilliant btw!)

Mrsjay · 23/07/2012 12:59

My husband thinks he is superior too busy for facebook Im like Meh Grin I like it i like interacting with people I hide or delete people who annoy me ,
I like seeing people are happy that they are going on a holiday have had a baby and shock horror their children got a good report card I dont share those "if you really cared" posts , It is supposed to be fun it is how you make it ,

OwlsOnStrings · 23/07/2012 13:03

Christ, YANBU. I have people who I like perfectly well in real life, but FB seems to do something to them.

  • There's the one who posts attention-seeking stuff: "Wow. Just wow. Why do some people feel they can treat me like that?" is her most recent one. Cue lots of "what's happened hun" people snapping at the bait.
  • One who posts long rants about the old bat in the shop who looked at her funny.
  • One who posts nothing but political campaigns, all for excellent causes but he posts NOTHING other than that. Many of them are accompanied by very upsetting pictures.
  • The guy who pops up and "Likes" absolutely every fucking thing that I say, even the smallest comment on my own, or a mutual friend's Wall. It's creepy.
  • And one who seems unable to post anything without including the word "Nom" or variants thereof. Nommity nom nom noms.

All lovely people but yes, you can go off someone who does things like that.

OwlsOnStrings · 23/07/2012 13:04

But the happy family pics and babies and nights out and school report bragging - I kind of like seeing all that.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2012 13:07

If you add any old random on FB , you are bound to get a few twats.

I'm very choosy who I add on mine.

EmilieFloge · 23/07/2012 13:13

When I left I had about 7 friends, and had had about 7 for several montsh, including one who had actually passed away Sad

So I was selective

But it was pointless, as anything I put on there largely got ignored except by the devoted follower I had, because there wasn't a wide enough audience for anyone to be interested - they either already knew about whatever it was, or weren't on there enough to see it, or whatever.

I only like antisocial nerds Smile

CanISawItOff · 23/07/2012 13:14

I hate reading other peoples updates because they make me feel like a piece of crap and like i've got no friends in RL and that i have, effectively, wasted my life because i've not gone travelling or don't work in London and that I am a useless person for having had children young and not had the huge white wedding at the local stately home.

However I do like to post updates and photos as all my friends and family are in different corners of the globe. I think i post once every 3 weeks usually when the kids have done something worthy of notifying the family.

I stick to twatter because I can randomly rant and not have to worry who reads it.

notmeatthemo2012 · 23/07/2012 13:16

I dont even have fb and i agree with the op. It just seems a bit childish in some way, its like being back at school in a way.

I know its good for staying in contact with relatives and old friends and sharing pics. But im too private for the pics of my dinner, my kids poos, really nasty cuts or whatever other stuff people put on it from what i read about it!

usualsuspect · 23/07/2012 13:23

How can you agree with the OP if you don't know what FB is like?

It doesn't make you a superior being if you don't have FB you know.

notmeatthemo2012 · 23/07/2012 13:32

Theres enough threads about it on here to get a good idea of it. And it doesnt make you superior to have or not have it.

strandednomore · 23/07/2012 13:33

Just take it all with a pinch of salt. People can select what they put on there so you never get the whole story of their lives.
I had one friend whose life seemed to be one long party - if her FB statuses and photos were anything to go by.
When I finally had some RL contact with her, turns out that all this time she hated her job, was being bullied at work and the man she was in love with had just moved to another country.
Now she is about to get married and funnily enough hardly ever posts on FB - is probably genuinally happy!

SinisterBuggyMonth · 23/07/2012 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HexagonalQueenOfEverything · 23/07/2012 13:45

I had to laugh OP as I have one friend in particular who does all of the things you've described. I keep her on my friends list as our DCs are friends, but she's very annoying.

She does the bragging, the cryptic statuses, the attention seeking statuses, the sad faced statuses, and the 'checking in' at restaurants, gyms (so everyone says she doesn't need to lose weight', checking in at places with various people etc.

She does my head in actually

Original poster
MistyRocks · 23/07/2012 15:35

If you add any old random on FB , you are bound to get a few twats.

I'm very choosy who I add on mine.

^^ this is my point! i don't have randoms on mine, most of them i know fairly well, are good, close friends / family and the odd mumsnetter i get on with and have added (so i spose the mners are random but all the mners on my fb are not annoying and are mostly funny and / or/ interesting. not saying that to kiss arse btw) so i am getting annoyed by my BEST friends in some cases Confused

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