Schools - WWYD

[baconcrisps]

DH and I are atheist and have always believed that it would be hypocritical of us to attend church purely with a view to DD (age 3) attending a particular school. We do not, however, have any issues with DD attending a church school and learning about the Christian faith, singing hymns, taking part in asssemblies etc.

DD is 3 and will be starting at the nursery of our closest school in Sept. It is a C of E school that Ofsted judge as outstanding and the school is heavily oversubscribed. We did not expect her to get a nursery place here, and if I wasn't pregnant she would have stayed at the private preschool she currently goes to. However having got the place at the school nursery this will help massively financially and being local is also much more convenient.

We have to apply for school places in January and currently fall within the 15th out of 18 criteria for places. Usually all places are gone by the 13th or 14th criteria so it is incredibly unlikely that DD will be offered a school place there on the basis of living 2 minutes walk away. The next nearest school seems fine, we have always assumed she would go there and been happy with that. It is a much more diverse intake, higher free meals, higher SEN, higher English not first language, higher numbers starting and leaving within the school year. I didn't think I had a problem with that. However now it is getting closer, maybe I do. I also think I am disrupting DD enough by removing her from her preschool where her friends are so she can go to the CofE nursery and then will be moving her again, while her friends stay there, to go to another school.

Technically it is too late for us to do a U-turn on our lack of beliefs and start going to church - you are meant to attend for 18 months before applying to get in on one of the church criteria. However DD's (new) CM said she knows of at least one child whose parents only attended for a few months and the vicar (?) signed off on the form. Now I am struggling - should I put aside my view that education should not be dependent on a parent's religion (or willingness to turn up at a place of religion) or should I do whatever is within my power to get my DD a place at a good school?

[Leanderbaer]

2 min walk...... Sounding very good to me.

I don't know why you posted, helpful and lovely though they are, I can't see what MN'ers can add.

You and your DP need to make a decision one way or the other and once you do that I wouldn't give it a moments more thought.

Hmm, you say it's only two minutes walk away......

[lovebunny]

go to church!
you'll give your daughter a community as well as the chance of a place in a good school.

the Lord moves in mysterious ways. currently, He seems to be moving via church schools...

[WinstonThePony]

it is really up to you and your husband, but how do you really feel about a school that excludes Jewish and Muslims, people of other religions, and...er...honest atheists? What would that demonstrate to your child? I knew of a child that attended such a primary school and the bullying (which exists in every school) was based around religious insults, the chief one of which was 'you Jew'! (none of whom attended needless to say)
Depends what you consider 'education' to be I suppose.

[Kayano]

It doesn't exclude them, it just doesn't give them priority.

[WinstonThePony]

on a practical level that excludes them though, doesn't it?

[Kayano]

Depends on area. My catholic secondary had a very high % of Muslims. Very high. It didn't matter because the teaching was the same regardless

Of course in oversubscribed areas yes it could seem to exclude them

[WinstonThePony]

yes it was the oversubscription that I meant, not that it could seem to exclude them, it just does, essentially.
It's like these rather pricey after school clubs that have to be paid a term in advance, which could seem to exclude children from low income families.

[threeleftfeet]

A Muslim friend of mine sends her DC to the Catholic school as there's no Muslim option here, and she'd rather a religious school over a non-religious one, even though it's a different religion. She says she reckons the discipline is better.

As an atheist I found this surprising / interesting, it wasn't something I'd considered before.

[WinstonThePony]

so...(continuing my little rant)....you get these right on atheist types who are probably smugly congratulating themselves on raising their kids in a multi kulti area, yet now wish their little ones to attend a socially exclusive school?

[Kayano]

Well that is their call. My call is to c
Suck it up and go to church.

Their DC might believe , why send them to a poorer school for your beliefs?

Not for me, I'll send the dc to the best school I can by whatever criteria I have to follow and let them make up their own mind at the end

[WinstonThePony]

after years of indoctrination I suppose they might 'believe' by the end of it, yes.
I know we all just want the 'best' for our DC though, no harm in questioning what that is, exactly.

[Kayano]

I went through years and I don't believe. I got a fantastic education though and am very grateful.

They don't brainwash kids, just teach them about the religion. They don't make people believe you know

[Hownoobrooncoo]

Go for it if it is a good school and you pay your taxes. Why should you or your. Hilda miss out.

[brdgrl]

I wouldn't. Your original plan was to send her to a school which you were happy enough about (and which sounds better in some ways, anyway!). I'd just stick to that.

[Kayano]

Hilda bloody hates it when she misses out let me tell you

[WinstonThePony]

They don't brainwash kids, just teach them about the religion.
I do have some female relatives who attended an RC secondary, and what they told me about their PSHE (or whatever their school called it) did sound alot like indoctrination, yes.

[Hownoobrooncoo]

Hilda - bloody IPad.! Actually about time Hilda made a comeback if all the other oldie names have!

[Hownoobrooncoo]

I attended an RC secondary nearly 30 yrs ago. No brainwashing or much religion though they did show some unpleasant abortion videos and wheel in the missionary nuns to try and recruit.

[Kayano]

We had 'relationship and marriage' workshops (and then they quickly mentioned about sex but then carried on quickly) lol

Yes you make it clear you think they indoctrine kids and brainwash them from your 'strategically placed quotation marks'

But all your posts are 'I have a friend, my friend told me...'

I went to one and I don't believe so maybe tone down your outrage a bit.

[WinstonThePony]

But all your posts are 'I have a friend, my friend told me...'
if you mean me, show me where I mentioned any 'friend'?
I am not 'outraged', just discussing and questioning.

[Kayano]

Well 'female relatives' then

The point being you have no personal experience but seem to look down on the schools for seemingly brainwashing children.

[WinstonThePony]

but you stated that 'all my posts' said 'i have a friend, a friend told me' when I said nothing of the sort, I mentioned 'female relatives' once so how that is 'all my posts' is beyond me. I know what close family members have told me about such places, sorry if that is not 'personal' enough for you. Obviously if you attended such a school, you are going to be defensive. As I said, I am simply questioning and discussing, not condemning or 'looking down on'.

[Kayano]

What did they actually tell you about 'such places' you haven't said...

We learned about all religions with an emphasis on Christianity and were taught acceptance

Acceptance to respect that people don't believe
And that led most of my class to accept that hardly any of us actually believed

[WinstonThePony]

oh I better not say exactly, but it was to do with reproduction..
lol @ that led most of my class to accept that hardly any of us actually believed