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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wedding at 1.30pm, meal at 6pm. Standing around for 4 hours!

77 replies

YokoOhNo · 19/07/2012 13:05

I went to a wedding last week. Lovely country house venue, everything under one roof. The ceremony was at 1.30pm. By 1.50pm, it was finished and we were in a room milling around. And then we had to wait around until 6pm when everyone was supposed to go into dinner, but it was nearer 6.30pm. It was pissing down outside and there was nowhere to go. We did chat with lots of nice people, but there was literally nothing at all to do but drink all afternoon. And at £14.50 for two G&Ts from the bar, that was limited too!

AIBU that maybe it would have been better to get married at 4pm in that case? Or provide entertainment or something?

OP posts:

CanISawItOff · 19/07/2012 13:08

Did they not have canapes on the go? That is a long time to be hanging around between ceremony and evening meal!

How much of that time was taken up with photos etc?

PrincessOfChina · 19/07/2012 13:09

That sounds odd. Although I wouldn't have expected to eat until about 4:30 or 5 with a wedding at that time.

Presumably you'd eaten lunch beforehand so it was more boredom than anything?

Youcanringmybell · 19/07/2012 13:10

i wouldn't have minded too much if I didn't have the kids with me. If there were children present then it would have been worse than bloody Hell.....I understand. It wasn't very well thought out was it?

Very boring.

LindyHemming · 19/07/2012 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 19/07/2012 13:12

YANBU... and think about it Euphemia.. wedding was at 1.30.. OP would have been getting ready, and travelling to the wedding for the previous 2 hours, so hardly time to sit and eat lunch! :)

I would have thought 4pm a much better sit down, plenty of time for the photographer to do their stuff, and then eat..

Original poster

YokoOhNo · 19/07/2012 13:14

We'd eaten lunch, so we weren't totally ravenous. Two trays of canapes emerged, all snaffled by the group of rugby boys nearest the kitchen door, then nothing.

I just thought it was all so badly thought out. If I had guests hanging around for four hours between the happening bits, I'd plan something or give them more food. The weather didnt help.

DS had been shipped off to MIL (no kids wedding, except for neices and nephews). I'd have been doing my nut of he had been there and demanding entertainment.

OP posts:

Tiago · 19/07/2012 13:15

I'd expect canapes. But I would also have taken sandwiches and cereal bars (as I have experienced the looooooong wait too many times before)!

Original poster

YokoOhNo · 19/07/2012 13:15

Lunch was an M&S sarnie eaten in the car on the way

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 19/07/2012 13:16

Ah... so there were canapes, but there were also greedy people who didnt think that others might want a look in too..

I dont suppose the weather did help either. If it had been a lovely day, you probably wouldnt have noticed the time going so slowly.

Original poster

YokoOhNo · 19/07/2012 13:16

But this isn't really a rant about lack of canapes or food. It's more a moan about having to hang about for 4 hours in heels being bored.

OP posts:

RobotLover68 · 19/07/2012 13:17

My wedding was at 11.30am followed by lunch - we then had a gap of about 4 hours until evening reception, so we went home for a few hours and relaxed - it was great

Frankly OP YANBU!

squeakytoy · 19/07/2012 13:18

I wonder if the hotel themselves "arrange" it that way.. so that the captive audience spend more at the bar... it really wouldnt surprise me.

Original poster

YokoOhNo · 19/07/2012 13:19

Yes, the weather didn't help. everyone was a bit cooped up. But even if we'd been outside in the sun, its still ages to hang around.

I just thought it was odd planning - surely, ceremony, drinks for an hour or two, then meal and dancing.

OP posts:

GailTheGoldfish · 19/07/2012 13:19

YANBU. This is the thing I hate most about weddings. If there is a big gap like that then the canapés need to be in generous supply.

Original poster

YokoOhNo · 19/07/2012 13:21

Robotlover - you couldn't go anywhere for a few hours. It was a country house venue, miles from anywhere and an hour's drive from MIL's. I wouldn't have minded going there for a kip, but we were supposed to mill around

OP posts:

bogeyface · 19/07/2012 13:21

Thats mad!

We got married at 4pm and had the meal at 6. No way would I have done it earlier. What were the b&g doing all that time?

ENormaSnob · 19/07/2012 13:27

Yanbu

We have one in a few weeks starting at 1. Hoping their meal is earlier as we will only have time for a late breakfast before going.

Original poster

YokoOhNo · 19/07/2012 13:28

B&G had a few photos, mainly posing on a staircase, because the wedding party would have needed duckboards to go and pose under the oak tree in the garden. But there were no roll-call photos, when they shout out "All bride's friends from primary school, over here now!!!" or anything.

thanks bogeyface - thats what i thought.

OP posts:

BlackOutTheSun · 19/07/2012 13:31

Oh I went to a wedding the other week, service was at 1pm, finished at 1.30pm and just sat around waiting til 5pm for the wedding breakfast.

The bar prices were shocking and we just had a small pot of nuts.

IawnCont · 19/07/2012 13:34

I get your point. But standing around is basically what you do at weddings, no? So whether they had the food later or earlier, you'd still be expected to wander around and socialise.
I think the only ones that were BU were the ones that ate all the canapes...

bogeyface · 19/07/2012 13:35

I anticipate an invite for a wedding in the spring, had the save the date, would it be bad form to inquire what time the meal is?!

skipinmyskip · 19/07/2012 13:36

That sounds painful and boring. I just don't get why bride and grooms do this. We were at a wedding a couple of weeks ago - ceremony done by 1. Meal at 530. A few canapes in between, no form of entertainment of any kind (I don't think you need anything at all, if a reasonable amount of time). It was in a field with a marquee in the middle of nowhere. I was tempted to go and sit in a my car and read a book!

My wedding was far from perfect. Ceremony at 300, meal served at 5. Not too much hanging about at all!

ENormaSnob · 19/07/2012 13:37

We went to one last year where there was a 2 hour lull between the meal and the night do.

The bride and groom and their families went to their rooms

The rest of us just sat in the stupidly expensive bar. We couldn't even go anywhere else as the venue was in the middle of nowhere.

skipinmyskip · 19/07/2012 13:37

Iawn But why? Does that make it okay? Or fun?

YouOldSlag · 19/07/2012 13:39

YANBU. It's very bad planning. By the time guests have got dressed and travelled to the venue, there's not time for a sustaining lunch and milling around making smalltalk til 6pm is just dull. They should have got married later, say 3pm, or got married earlier and laid on lunch,

The other thing to remember is that guests hanging round a bar on an empty stomach for 4 hours will end up really pissed, often despite not intending to be.

Although it's the B and G's big day, the comfort of guests does need to be a consideration. My DH is diabetic for instance. There's only so many boxes of raisins you can fit in a flower shaped wedding handbag!

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