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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect suppliers to actually want business? Wedding related

49 replies

ViviPru · 18/07/2012 23:25

The caterer said said we would receive the revised quote we requested over a week ago by end of play today. No sign of it. I asked the marquee company last week to quote for the detailed spec I sent them, not even an acknowledgement of my email. The venue still hasn't given us a price for room hire.

It's not often I resort to expletives on MN but this is fucking disgraceful. We have been undemanding and straightforward from the start, making clearly stated, polite requests. I'd hazard that anyone who knows me on here might vouch that I am a reasonable, personable individual. I'm as far from bridedilla as can be but they're turning me into one, which isn't fair.

Aibu to be fuming at the unprofessionalism of these companies and to expect more or should I cut them some slack, it's busy wedding season after all and I'm not the only one out there organising an event?

OP posts:
Original poster
ViviPru · 18/07/2012 23:27

Bride fucking ZILLA. I am one aren't I Sad

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Noqontrol · 18/07/2012 23:29

Nah, I'd be pissed off. Cant you go elsewhere?

Original poster
ViviPru · 18/07/2012 23:39

Thank you for replying, I was expecting such a self-indulgent thread to sink without trace.

We will go elsewhere if no joy, just reluctant to for now as we were really keen to support these local businesses in our rural economy and I like their product.

Not only that, I'm in talks with the venue about turning it into a proper wedding venue (at present it is not one) so I was really hoping to get some good local suppliers in place to use going forward (hate that expression but it seems the most appropriate here) These suppliers know this and were keen to be on board. They're just being unprofessional.

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IamtheZombie · 18/07/2012 23:41

Vivi, you are one of the least zilla anything that Zombie has met on MN.

ChaoticismyLife · 18/07/2012 23:43

YANBU

We will go elsewhere if no joy, just reluctant to for now as we were really keen to support these local businesses in our rural economy and I like their product.

Can you send them a second email telling them this but making it clear that you won't be messed about and will go elsewhere if they continue to do so.

Original poster
ViviPru · 18/07/2012 23:44

Ah thank you Z. You have no idea how much I needed that

And my wedding wellies turned up today (three weeks late) and they're the wrong colour. Sob Sad

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Original poster
ViviPru · 18/07/2012 23:46

Chaotic yes, Mr P is going to call them tomorrow with words to that effect. I'm just annoyed that he has to, taking time out of his workday when he's busy making sure his customers are treated professionally and made to feel valued.

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Noqontrol · 18/07/2012 23:47

Wedding wellies? You getting married in a field? Grin

IamtheZombie · 18/07/2012 23:48

Zombie means it, Vivi. Really, really means it. She has seen you cope with some shite with absolute dignity.

Original poster
ViviPru · 18/07/2012 23:50

Pretty much Grin

We're hiring a barn and putting a marquee in the field beside. Or we would be if the sodding workshys would ever email me back.

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Original poster
ViviPru · 18/07/2012 23:51

Sorry I've not been round the dustbin recently, things've been a bit full on :)

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Noqontrol · 18/07/2012 23:52

That sounds great. Im less tolerant then you maybe, i expected people to bow to me and jump to my every wish and desire when i was getting married Grin the ones that didn't were out!!

Original poster
ViviPru · 18/07/2012 23:58

Ha perhaps too much aibu has squished my inner Zilla. I've just been adamant I wouldn't be that girl, you know, convinced I'm the first person ever to wear a white frock and say I do. I guess I just need to get a bit more bridal on their asses.

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ChaoticismyLife · 19/07/2012 00:01

Grin at wedding wellies.

I agree MrPru shouldn't have to phone but unfortunately sometimes it's the only way. Hopefully after he does they'll get their collective arses in gear.

FWIW from what I've read about your wedding it sounds lovely :) and you don't sound at all bridezillaish. We should all be able to expect good service as normal.

Original poster
ViviPru · 19/07/2012 00:06

Thanks Chaotic. Although now I'm concerned I'm turning into a wedding bore too if you've already 'heard' about it! Grin

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Noqontrol · 19/07/2012 00:13

No you're not the first person to wear a white frock ( or in my case a red one) and say i do. But, I have come to realise that weddings are that one special day where you have friends and family from all over, in one space, to share that special time with you. And you want it to be a great day. Im not bridezilla either, i organised mine in 3 weeks, so am obviously not expecting perfection. But, i do expect these people that you are throwing lots of cash at for their services, to do the decent thing and make it easier for you. And if they didn't then it would worry me that they might not turn up with the goods on the day. Weddings are stressful anyway, even my last minute reasonably laid back one was, but its completely wrong, and rude, of people to make that harder for you than it needs to be.

Original poster
ViviPru · 19/07/2012 00:17

You're absolutely right, that all makes a lot of sense. I hope you didnt think I was judging you for being a bit more assertive when it came to getting what you wanted. That's clearly a bit more how I ought to be!

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ChaoticismyLife · 19/07/2012 00:17

Grin Nah, I like hearing about opw (other people's weddings), it appeals to the romantic in me.

Tbh, this will probably sound stalkerish, it's not meant to be, but yours is one of the board names that I always seem to remember. I remember reading your thread about your friend's wedding, the abroad one, and it's stuck in my mind for some reason.

Anyway, I really need to get some sleep so I'll say good night and I promise not to stalk you Grin, not intentionally anyway.

Original poster
ViviPru · 19/07/2012 00:20

Haha! Yes, the famous overseas wedding whinge that turned out to be The Best Week Of My Life. Sleep well and thanks for listening to me vent :)

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Noqontrol · 19/07/2012 00:23

No i didn't think that. Actually i wasn't particularly assertive at all to start with, but luckily my closest friend stepped up to the table and was assertive on my behalf. Once i'd got the hang of it then I took it from there Grin

girlywhirly · 19/07/2012 09:16

I think now would be best to contact all these businesses by phone and speak to a person rather than emailing. You need your quotations fast, and it's all too easy to 'push an email to the back of the pile' and deal with it another time.

They should be very aware that the image they are giving is seriously unprofessional, and that you could ruin any reputation they might have if you chose to make a formal complaint. When I got married all estimates/quotations arrived within two days by post, and the same for confirmations, so really there are no excuses for not returning emails.

I think you should start now to get alternative quotations from other companies, and go with the ones who treat you professionally. Make sure the original companies you have contacted know that they have competition, they might get cracking then.

diddl · 19/07/2012 09:34

TBH, if they have said that they would reply by a certain time & haven´t, I wouldn´t want to deal with them anyway.

Bue · 19/07/2012 10:03

I've had this problem over and over with wedding vendors. And caterers were the worst of all - I had the exact same situation as you and in fact never received the quote despite many promises that it was coming! Luckily I moved on and found a fabulous company, but honestly, the mind boggles. My big wedding tip is if you find a vendor who replies immediately to your enquiries, jump on their services!

Original poster
ViviPru · 19/07/2012 10:20

They should be very aware that the image they are giving is seriously unprofessional, and that you could ruin any reputation they might have if you chose to make a formal complaint. That's really true, but it seems they don't even care.

I'm planning to get a quote from the marquee supplier's rival company (who I've heard bad reports about - ho hum) and that will seriously piss them off if we tell them we've gone with them instead. I'm annoyed though, we really wanted to use the closer one, they're literally up the road Sad

The caterer to be fair to her did give us the original quote in timely fashion, but we've since made some adaptations and add-ons, and it's this quote she's been sluggish on. I'm really keen to use her though as her product/offer is precisely what we want. At least she has acknowledged our communications though.

Mr P and I both run our own businesses so find it extra frustrating that these fellow small business owners do not prioritise the same level of service that we try to offer. It's tricky when you're a small outfit and have to juggle new business enquiries with servicing your current contracts but that's business ffs.

If anyone can recommend wedding suppliers in Leicestershire, I'm all ears!!!

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PomBearWithAnOFRS · 19/07/2012 10:26

I think your Wedding Wellies (and they need their capital letters!) have just made my week Grin Is there a picture anywhere of them? or the right ones anyway. I feel the need to admire them. I am wellyless, I cannot find any, anywhere, that will go round my huge calves that are bigger than some people's waists sob so I live vvicariously through the wellies of others.