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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect suppliers to actually want business? Wedding related

49 replies

ViviPru · 18/07/2012 23:25

The caterer said said we would receive the revised quote we requested over a week ago by end of play today. No sign of it. I asked the marquee company last week to quote for the detailed spec I sent them, not even an acknowledgement of my email. The venue still hasn't given us a price for room hire.

It's not often I resort to expletives on MN but this is fucking disgraceful. We have been undemanding and straightforward from the start, making clearly stated, polite requests. I'd hazard that anyone who knows me on here might vouch that I am a reasonable, personable individual. I'm as far from bridedilla as can be but they're turning me into one, which isn't fair.

Aibu to be fuming at the unprofessionalism of these companies and to expect more or should I cut them some slack, it's busy wedding season after all and I'm not the only one out there organising an event?

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Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/07/2012 10:31

Vivi suspect that part of the problem is that while you aren't a bridezilla, many people are and so they are getting to the top of the queue just through sheer weight of phone calls etc etc.
Plus, it is full wedding season and so they are likely to be rushed of their feet sorting things for people who are getting married this weekend/next weekend etc.

None of that helps, of course, and they should be more professional, but try to stay calm and don't be afraid to give them a firm nudge and half an earful

Original poster

ViviPru · 19/07/2012 10:41

Me' Wedding Wellies They go with my engagement ring (or they will when I get the right colour sent)

Thanks Ali - you're another one who always kindly listens to my peculiar whinges :) Its a sod isn't it that the difficult gobshites tend to be the ones who get seen to first, like squawking chicks in a nest being fed worms...

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Ambivalence · 19/07/2012 10:54

no recommendations, but lots of sympathy!

Original poster

ViviPru · 19/07/2012 10:56

:) thank you

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Noqontrol · 19/07/2012 11:01

I wasn't difficult But with only 3 weeks to sort it, and arrange hotel rooms for 50 people, there wasn't time to wait for people to get back to me at their own leisure.

emsyj · 19/07/2012 11:03

YANBU - I called dozens of caterers, and the one we used was the ONE who actually effing returned my call! I would unhesitatingly recommend them as lovely lovely people, with fantastic staff and 101% reliable (you would never EVER wonder where they were or whether they were going to turn up). Their website is crappy (I mean, really dreadful), but they are great - not foodie fabulous so if you're into very fancy dishes and that sort of thing, they're not for you, but if you want hot food that's good quality and tasty and not outrageously expensive, they're perfect. www.carlton-caterers.co.uk

The venues are dire too - we hired a building owned by the council and in the end I just bypassed the woman in the council offices and went in and dealt with the security men, who were fantastically helpful. Often it's better to just turn up and speak to someone, it's too easy to ignore calls and emails (apparently)!!!

Original poster

ViviPru · 19/07/2012 11:09

I think that's part of the problem, Noqonrtol, it's for a date 10 months away, so I don't think they have any sense of urgency, probably helped in no small part by the non-zilla way DP and I have initiated contact with them. I'm keen to get all the major components in place though before I start faffing around with the pretty (which I'm dying to do!)

emsyj I'll bookmark those caterers, they're not that far from us in the scheme of things. Thank you.

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ENormaSnob · 19/07/2012 11:12

Your wedding sounds beautiful vivi.

I would be very wary of using a company that can't get a quote out in reasonable time. If they can't even manage a quote, how will they ensure the product is correct and turns up on time?

ENormaSnob · 19/07/2012 11:13

IMO 10 months is not far off in terms of planning a wedding.

Cokeaholic · 19/07/2012 11:15

To be fair this is likely to be their busiest time of year as far as workload is concerned.

say, November

Cokeaholic · 19/07/2012 11:15

Ooops, that should say I'm sure you'd have got quicker responses if you were asking in, say November

LRDtheFeministDragon · 19/07/2012 11:22

Oh, how annoying! Can you say to them what enorma says - that you want to use them but you really need to know if they've just taken on too much, and if they can't get the quote out is it because they can't do the whole thing? (Mind you I would be quaking to say that as I am a wuss, but if you're made of sterner stuff ...).

Original poster

ViviPru · 19/07/2012 12:24

I'm a bit of a wuss too, LRD. Being a born buyer Mr P is the hardcore negotiator (not especially feminist of me, but I cast the net and source the wares as it were and then hand over to him to reel in at the price we want) so he will be the one taking it from here. Which has its own set of complications in as much as he's up to his eyeballs with work and just hasn't got the time at the moment to run around chasing up errant suppliers.

I'm a hair's breadth from ringing the Hilton on the motorway (where I worked for 10 years in abhorrence at the conveyor-belt weddings I witnessed week in week out) and selling out to convention.

The worst part of it all is that my super-professional, lovely photographer has kindly agreed to hold the date without deposit until we get the venue secured and I feel rotten putting her in that position when I know she's so sought after and could have booked that date 3 times over by now.

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OneHandFlapping · 19/07/2012 12:28

I would worry that a company that can't even be arsed to secure the booking from you will do a G4S not deliver on the day.

Original poster

ViviPru · 19/07/2012 12:29

Yes, I have considered that, Coke. You're right. Even so they should be prepared for these busy times, them falling so predictably each year....

Besides, the marquee company's quote is just a simple rejig of figures, I could do it myself. It's not hard to take away the price of a couple of 5ft tables and add on an additional rattan garden set.

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Original poster

ViviPru · 19/07/2012 12:30

Good point, OHF.

If I'm taking the venue forward as a genuine offer to other couples, then I'm going to want to be able to use suppliers I can trust not to let my clients down, which is worse to me than being let down myself.

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emsyj · 19/07/2012 12:39

See, this is what I thought OneHandFlapping - so I personally did not chase suppliers who didn't respond (apart from the council, as I really wanted that building for the reception). Can you imagine if your car or your photographer or your caterer just didn't turn up on the day? ((shudders))

I would be inclined to say 'Next!' if you find any suppliers are unreliable or unresponsive - it will be minor hassle to find an alternative compared with the hassle of sleepless nights in the run-up to the wedding worrying what you'll do if they don't bother turning up on the day.

Don't give in and have an 'all inclusive' venue! It is undoubtedly more stressful to have a 'shell' venue and hire in all your other suppliers, but it's the best way of getting exactly what you want. FWIW, we had no problems with our suppliers on the day, they were all brilliant.

Original poster

ViviPru · 19/07/2012 12:41

Thanks emsy, You're right, it will be worth it, I'm just having a pity party for myself because there are so many loose ends at the moment that need attention.

We've contacted the rival marquee company for a quote and I'm giving the caterer till tomorrow. As for the venue, well that's anyone's guess - we're pretty much at their mercy....

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ChaoticismyLife · 19/07/2012 19:17

Can I just say that not only are your wellies lovely or will be when you get the correct colour but you're the only person I 'know' who has matched them to their engagement ring

You literally made me lol at that.

FWIW, I agree with emsyj about not going for the conventional wedding.

Original poster

ViviPru · 19/07/2012 20:57

:) glad I tickled you.

Update = Well the rival marquee supplier's quote is twice the price (I know, I know, you pays your money you takes your choice). Mr. Pru rang the original supplier and apparently they've been on site all week so not had chance to respond. She could still have sent an acknowledgement.

Mr. Pru annoyingly laid back fellow that he is thinks I'm getting my knickers in a twist unnecessarily and is confident it will all come good. He's not impressed by their lack of professionalism though.

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Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/07/2012 21:12

Vivi this is why I enjoy your threads, you are meticulous at updating. I hate to be left dangling

DH and I employ a method which we refer to as the 'X feeling'. 'X' being our wedding venue. We just got such a great gut feeling from them, and even when they had been bought out and lost the copy of the contract I had negotiated with them they were very graceful and stuck to the terms I stipulated - they didn't need to. Our gut proved right.
We make all our important decisions on the same basis and it hasn't let us down yet.

In other words, I would go with Mr P. on this.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 19/07/2012 21:42

I don't think you are getting your knickers in a twist ... but it is good they at least had an excuse so they did know they were coming across as unprofessional.

FWIW our venue was a bit slapdash and they were fantastic on the day, then also remembered us when we went for an anniversary dinner a year later - they were just better at the human side of things than the boring emails, I think. So there may be hope!

CointreauVersial · 19/07/2012 21:55

Vivi, it isn't just wedding suppliers - we had a tiny plumbing job that needed doing last year, and I lost count of the ones that didn't return my call, didn't turn up, excuses, excuses...... Drove me crazy.

Soooo shortsighted. The one that eventually came to do the job (and was prompt and polite) was immediately given a second (much bigger) task, was recommended to my neighbours and will be the first one I call next time we need a plumber.

Maybe these people are sooooo successful, soooo worked off their feet that they don't need to concern themselves with your piddling wedding. And you thought there was a credit crunch?

Original poster

ViviPru · 20/07/2012 12:48

Another little update (specially for Ali)

It turns out the caterer has been on compassionate leave so I'm glad we didn't get the arse with her. We've had a good feeling about her from the start, so it seems so far we've no reason to think otherwise.

Once more I thank AIBU for giving me a platform to whinge and quash the temptation to kick off IRL.

Still no word form the marquee company though.

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