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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

When someone 'shadows' us down the road?

55 replies

LifeHope11 · 18/07/2012 21:06

DH & I were walking along the road today chatting, it was a quiet road with only one or two pedestrians so we were talking about fairly personal/family things.

I heard something behind me, glanced back & saw a woman just a few feet behind us, she had obviously walked fast enough to have crept up. She was easily within earshot so we broke off our conversation, slowed down a little to let her overtake but she didn't, just slowed down enough to remain 'hovering' behind us......this carried on for a few more minutes with us in silence until eventually she turned down a side road & we were rid of her.

Is it just me or is this rude? Is it too much to expect that people either overtake or drop back, thereby respecting each other's space?

OP posts:

SoleSource · 18/07/2012 22:05

Maybe the other pedestrian had to be somewhere at a certain time and was stalling to kill time? Maybe she was wearing an iPod?

YABU unless she was so close you could smell her perfume.

Salmotrutta · 18/07/2012 22:05

Personal space is quite a subjective thing.

You say she was "a few feet" behind you - maybe that seemed perfectly fine to her.

I understand what Peenut is meaning actually - those odd speed-up/slow down things when people are walking along ahead of you. And maybe she would have had to step into the road to get past as someone else pointed out.

I doubt she was interested in your conversation.

paradisechick · 18/07/2012 22:06

And yes to contacting the local school. Can't be too careful nowerdays and all that.

Iamsparklyknickers · 18/07/2012 22:08

Soooo.... What were you talking about then?

PollyGoHome · 18/07/2012 22:11

Get over yourself.

She was most probably in that awkward situation where you're all walking at the same pace, so if she overtook you would probably have ended up walking beside you. Unless she practically ran away from you or slowed down, the latter being less embarrassing. It's a public street ffs.

Why would she care about your conversation?

SixtyFootDoll · 18/07/2012 22:12

Arf

lovebunny · 18/07/2012 22:12

scary. what did they want?

SoleSource · 18/07/2012 22:14

Nosy much Iam sparkly?

Tell us tell us tell me

Confuseddd · 18/07/2012 22:26

Groundcontrol, sounds like they were ne'erdowells.

Reminds me of one occasion when I was 8 months pregnant and finding the commute a trial, and just felt constantly claustrophobic and wanting my own personal space. When I got on the bus it was packed. Switched on my hypnotherapy cd and shut my eyes. Got to destination and opened my eyes to a completely empty bus apart from a girl in seat right next to me rustling her newspaper on my arm (aaaaahh). She sort of looked at me embarrassedly and said 'I did think about moving seats'. Uh yes!!!!!! Now move away from my person!

So you get a YANBU from me.

sensuallettuce · 18/07/2012 22:27

This annoys me too

Iamsparklyknickers · 18/07/2012 22:31

solesource I need to know so I can judge whether stalker girl was been unreasonable.

SoleSource · 18/07/2012 22:34

Me too sparkly

It is your duty OP, SPILL.

Inneedofbrandy · 18/07/2012 22:44

This always happens to me apart from the other way round. There I am in my own little world walking down the street and bam hit a slow walker and cant over take for a while and find it hard to slow down as I power walk accidently everywhere, my children have to run at my heel to keep up hehehehe.

VolAuVent · 18/07/2012 22:54

YANBU. It's polite to keep a respectful distance from others, especially if they're clearly having a conversation. Just normal good manners I'd have thought!

HellonHeels · 18/07/2012 22:55

I'd be freaked out and annoyed if someone sat right next to me on an empty bus. Someone did this to me on an empty tube carriage a few months ago. i got up and moved to another carriage, in the interest of my personal safety.

But to answer OP I reckon this was probably just a coincidence. You could have asked her if she was wanting something and then waited for her to walk on?

FanjoPingpong · 18/07/2012 23:13

I hate it; it's scary; it triggers my anxiety disorder. I always pull over to the side and pretend to tie my shoes, look in a shop window, take a pretend phonecall, etc. to get rid of the 'no sense of personal space' walkers.

With someone that persistent, though, I ... maybe you had a tenner sticking out of the back of your jeans and they were trying to nab it?

LaurieFairyCake · 18/07/2012 23:20

It's incredibly uncomfortable to overtake some couple you have accidentally caught up with in the street who stop talking as soon as you catch up with them.

It's really fucking awkward to do that dance past them when they are silent and obviously pissed off with you when you have accidentally caught them up.

In fact when this happens to me I cross the street to avoid splitting the couple in half or dancing past them.

FreeBirdsFlying · 19/07/2012 00:00

Maybe she was from MI5 and has been shadowing you for months now.

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 19/07/2012 00:08

I have stopped and waved people like this past me before now...some people are weird.

Maybe she has issues with people walking behind her and wanted to stay at the back?

WildWorld2004 · 19/07/2012 00:09

I totally get what you mean OP. its not just the walking behind you, its the sitting next to you on a bus, using the toilet cubicle next to you when theres a choice of ten others, the sitting in front of you in an empty cinema(which btw someone has started a thread on & seems to have gotten everyones support).

I power walk & if i catch up with someone i just overtake them & carry on even if it means going onto the road. Im not a fan of slow walkers.

ViviPru · 19/07/2012 00:10

Oh boo. I thought this was a thread about motorway buddies. I love a motorway buddy, me. That quiet mutual respect, confirmed when one pulls in behind the other after every overtaking manoeuvre.

Whenthetoadcamehome · 19/07/2012 00:15

I love that too Vivipru, and am always slightly gutted when the traffic gets too busy for you to keep uo with each other and then you have to concentrate again find another buddy.

ImperialBlether · 19/07/2012 00:26

Not sure why people are being so nasty to you, OP. It's perfectly understandable that if two people are talking, you don't walk just behind them as though you're listening in. You either walk slower or walk level with them, in which case they know to keep quiet, or you walk ahead. Walking a couple of paces behind does make it look like they're listening.

And it's the same in a restaurant. I can't believe some answers. Of course if it's a quiet restaurant and you sit in one seat it's unreasonable for someone to sit right up next to you. Who wants an audience?

lisaro · 19/07/2012 00:31

and i think we were entitled

Says it all, OP.

EvilEnabler · 19/07/2012 01:44

I would have found it a bit odd too OP.

People walking/standing/sitting close when you're in a crowded place? Fine. No problem.

But when the street/train/bus/shop whatever is pretty much deserted it is discomforting to have someone getting right up in your space.

I am a fairly speedy walker and often catch up with people, but I would never just walk along right on their heels - unless there was absolutely no way I could nip past them. Even if I had to jump into the road and jog round them then I would, as I find personal space invaders very rude, and have no desire to be one myself.

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