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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain that 10 year old niece is on Facebook?

47 replies

Cheekychops84 · 18/07/2012 21:04

I think 10 is way too young? I will not add her I have told her mum it is unacceptable. Her mother told her to delete herself 4 days ago. She is still on there so when I spoke to the mother she sed she has put security lock on there so can stay on there?

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 18/07/2012 21:06

you could report her to fcebook for being underage i suppose but I dont think I would, just dont add her or interact with her I think 10 is a bit young to be on facebook

2rebecca · 18/07/2012 21:08

You have made your point, now mind your own business. I think facebook can be as safe as other computer networking sites if privacy settings are properly applied and the child is supervised when on the computer. Parental supervision and awareness is more important than the age of the child.

JumpingThroughHoops · 18/07/2012 21:10

FB only has guidelines, its not legislation.

YABU to decide how your SIL manages her family internet access.

AnastasiaSteele · 18/07/2012 21:13

It's very hard. On the one hand, perhaps not apprpriate, on the other, part of every day life.

I wish kids were educated about it. My 16 year old step sister Tweeted Justin Bieber to ask him to rock her bed. Wish she'd learn how wrong that is on mulitple levels.

snoopyplaystennis · 18/07/2012 21:14

It's just not your business I am afraid

BlueMoon74 · 18/07/2012 21:14

Get your SIL to look at CEOP's website - maybe then she'll share your concerns!

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 18/07/2012 21:15

Surely as family your better off making friends with her as you can see how it's being used?

My nephew is 10 and uses it, it's harmless and he is always supervised. The majority of his friends have it too.

Original poster
Cheekychops84 · 18/07/2012 21:16

I wouldn't moan but the mother complained to us she went to a disco after school without permission so lord knows what could happen ! But I will keep my nose out and tell her in future please don't ask for my advise ! I realised she was still on there as she had commented on a picture of a naked woman saying it was disgusting ! Hmmmm some security !

OP posts:
PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 18/07/2012 21:19

What the 10 year old did? If they are on there they should be watched. My sister sits next to him if he ever checks it but it's hardly ever.

catus · 18/07/2012 21:20

YABU. Complain to who exactly? Her parents? They obviously made their decision, so deal with it. Really, I get why you might privately disagree but it's trivial stuff in the grand sheme of things.
That said, I'm not on facebook myself so maybe I'm way off and don't understand the seriousness of the situation?

2rebecca · 18/07/2012 21:21

If she has her privacy settings and friend choice loose enough so she is seeing naked pictures then the parents are being irresponsible (probably, could be a classic oil painting she's referring to but probably isn't).
My kids were on Bebo at that sort of age, which isn't that much different to facebook (from what I can remember).
I did police their privacy settings and who their friends were though (aunties prone to making dodgy comments when drunk were excluded! Friends were mainly other same age kids I knew)

Original poster
Cheekychops84 · 18/07/2012 21:21

No she works 12 hour shifts she is s single mum she doesn't supervise as per se she has access to her password mind so I suppose she can see what's on there ? I won't add her as I dnt want to get in trouble ! I think changing the date of birth is deceptive and stupid !

OP posts:
SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 18/07/2012 21:22

I'd report.
Facebook isn't harmless. Dd13 opened a fb application to chat to a person with similar interests. She ended up being watched on her built in webcam by a random boy. She wasn't aware until after she had changed into her pyjamas. She was terribly upset. Apparently many of her friends use the same application. There is no way of knowing if she was recorded.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 18/07/2012 21:24

If you report her, nobody will know that you did it.

Frontline · 18/07/2012 21:24

It's none of your sodding business.

Frontline · 18/07/2012 21:25

Really. Butt out

Original poster
Cheekychops84 · 18/07/2012 21:26

I just think 10 is too young maybe 13 - 14 ? I'm just thinking of her safety and I know her mum is too busy to watch her she has Bern having lots of problems with her at the moment which is y I worry but maybe I shouldn't bother it's not my kid but she shouldn't ask my advise and get upset about her behaviour ! I explained I disagreed her being on fb and she told her in front of me to go delete herself as it is dangerous then she says she had cried about deleting herself so I've agreed she can stay on there?

OP posts:
2rebecca · 18/07/2012 21:27

You normally know if your webcam is on though. My kids didn't have their own computers or computers in their bedrooms when they were too young to understand about internet safety and how to turn the webcam off (probably about 13). The problem here isn't facebook is inadequately supervised kids on computers.

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 18/07/2012 21:27

She must have downloaded something without realising then saggy? That's not normal on fb.

Original poster
Cheekychops84 · 18/07/2012 21:28

That's good the computer wasn't private? This is her own laptop ?

OP posts:
catus · 18/07/2012 21:28

She went to a disco without permission... Come on, she's 10! I doubt she came back home drunk or high?
It's nice of you to worry, but I'm not really sure there is a need under the circumstances.
As for the naked lady, maybe they should check their security or maybe it wasn't pornographic in nature. After all, there is nothing intrinsically disgusting about a naked lady.

WorraLiberty · 18/07/2012 21:30

My DS(13) has had a FB account since he left yr 6 (aged11yrs)

It's a great way for him to stay in touch with his friends who went to a different senior school.

I made the account
I have the log in details
I am his friend on there
He's not allowed to add anyone he doesn't know/I don't know.

He hardly bothers to log more than once a week now.

It's not the devil's spawn as long as the parents keep an eye out and familiarise themselves with the endless changes to the security settings.

I know of far more children who have secret Facebook accounts and log in from their mobile phones, because their parents insisted on sticking to the 13+ rule.

Those parents won't have a clue who they're friending or what they're posting on there.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 18/07/2012 21:31

The Facebook application did it. Dd did not switch her webcam on. She had minimised Facebook and was doing her homework. She had no idea she was being watched. She's very sensible. Doesn't use any other social media and only friends her friends. She was REALLY upset.

Puffinsaresmall · 18/07/2012 21:33

how did he manage to turn her webcam on?? Confused