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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain that 10 year old niece is on Facebook?

47 replies

Cheekychops84 · 18/07/2012 21:04

I think 10 is way too young? I will not add her I have told her mum it is unacceptable. Her mother told her to delete herself 4 days ago. She is still on there so when I spoke to the mother she sed she has put security lock on there so can stay on there?

OP posts:

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 18/07/2012 21:45

When she opened the app, the app turned the webcam on. She had minimised that screen and wasn't aware.

WorraLiberty · 18/07/2012 21:50

That virus isn't exclusive to FB though

There are lots of viruses on the internet that can hack your cam and turn it on. That's why it's always best to unplug them.

squeakytoy · 18/07/2012 21:53

I would say the ones most at risk are teenage girls who are above the recommended age limit of 13.

A 10yo is most likely to just want to chat with her friends, and is unlikely to sneak off to meet a "teenage boy" she has been chatting to online.

Original poster

Cheekychops84 · 18/07/2012 22:01

Yea true well thanks everyone for ur advise ! I will not say anything now and let them
Get on with it .

OP posts:

topbannana · 18/07/2012 22:02

FWIW I attended a course on e-Safety last week run by the Police, and his main point about FB is that USED CORRECTLY it is one of the safest sites around (the 13 yr old thing only comes from a USA rule about advertising to pre-teens)
DS (8) has a FB account, initially as my DM was not on the internet but could access FB from her phone, so he could put up photos etc. to share with her. I figured that it was easier to start while he had no idea what he was doing, therefore the ground rules about me always being there and always checking with me before doing anything were firmly embedded from a young age.
He rarely uses it now but I have all the settings tweaked so high that it will be a few years before he works out a way round them (which I'm sure he will )
So YANBU to be concerned but YABU to consider it is potentially the end of the world.

kinkyfuckery · 18/07/2012 22:05

I would be more likely to add her as a friend if I were you. It's much easier to keep an eye on them that way.

ajandjjmum · 18/07/2012 22:09

I think FB is great when used properly, but can be evil when not.

The DC both had accounts when 13/14 but I had their passwords and checked them regularly - probably more regularly than they did themselves.

I think it's a great way of keeping in touch with friends who you'd otherwie lose all contact with.

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 18/07/2012 22:47

I didn't know that about webcams. Will disable mine, though seeing me in pjs will be a grave disappointment for any hacker.

Would the anti virus not pick that up then?

WorraLiberty · 18/07/2012 23:57

Some do and some don't Pickles but the surest way is to pull the cam out of the USB port when it's not in use.

LurkingAndLearningForNow · 19/07/2012 00:00

YANBU, I know kids that age (and younger) with Facebook. It really depends on how the parent monitors them I guess, even if I don't agree with it. Facebook isn't exactly 'family friendly.'

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2012 00:03

FB is very family friendly if you just have your real family and friends on there...and if you understand the privacy settings.

It's lovely for kids to be able to play interactive games/chate with their Gran/Aunt/Uncle/Cousins etc...even when they live in another country.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2012 00:03

'Chate' would be 'chat' obviously

SaggyGoldOlympicSponsor2012 · 19/07/2012 00:20

Dds webcam wasn't activated by a virus. It was a proper Facebook app thingy.

youonlysingwhenyourewinning · 19/07/2012 00:30

My dd's account has been reported and disabled.

It has pissed me right off, to be honest.

I had made a decision to allow her to have facebook. I had considered all points and had security set high. I knew her password and checked her account daily. And now someone has stuck their nose in and decided they know better than me.

Yep, I'm royally pissed off.

Stay out of it.

LeanderBear · 19/07/2012 00:33

YANBU to have complained

Even if all the security settings are set to the strictest levels the problem with Facebook is that kids of that age don't always know how to behave properly on it which can lead to lots of problems with friends. For example, they can make tactless or jokey comments about one another that actually seem really nasty. This is the type of thing they are more likely to have problems with rather than wierdy creepy older men.

However....
You have let your nieces Mum know how you feel so now I think you have to step back and let her deal with it.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2012 00:35

They can do that in the playground though without your knowledge.

At least on FB you can monitor it if you have the log in details and they're on your friend list.

LeanderBear · 19/07/2012 00:36

Worraliberty. It can be fantastic for this. We lived overseas and it was brilliant having Facebook. However, since we returned to the UK I have deleted my account. I just find it is too intrusive.

LeanderBear · 19/07/2012 00:39

Oops xposted. worraliberty. It's true that kids can have problems in the playground but the fact that any problems can be seen by lots of other people so instantly can be hard for younger teens, but you are right that at least you can monitor what they are seeing and doing.

boneyjonesy · 19/07/2012 10:31

I can't see why it is your business.I can't see why it is up to you to decide it is unacceptable.
Butt out!!!!

lastnerve · 19/07/2012 13:06

Yeah 10 is too young , its not just that some of the groups can be a bit graphic too.

valiumredhead · 19/07/2012 13:08

Yeah, you made you point, that's all you can do. I don't have anyone under the age of 16 on my fb including nephews and nieces.

Original poster

Cheekychops84 · 19/07/2012 13:24

I have only said to her I don't think she should b on Facebook that is y I won't add her on there . I haven't physically demanded she delete herself I mother did in front of us but I didn't ! So dnt no y ppl are telling me to butt out ? She simply asked y I wouldn't add her ASCAP friend and I said 10 is too young IMO I dont want a 10 year old on my Facebook ! Sorry to all u parents out there who feel with the correct security settings and monitoring is ok for your children but I personally do not want a 10 year old on mine ! We send funny pics and sometimes funny (a bit rude jokes and statuses) and I feel that is for adults to enjoy and have time away from their children ? I understand as they reach 13/14 they will most likely have to b on there due to friends and keeping in with the crowd?

OP posts:

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