AIBU to think getting child benefit for someone who isn't a child is a pisstake!

[youngmummy17]

I've posted something similar about CSA before, DS dad according to the CSA doesn't have to pay child maintenance as to them he is still classed as a child, so i decided to call CSA to explain his 18, has a job and in no education, to which they said he doesn't have to pay as his mother still get child benefit for him!! DS dad doesn't live at home which i told them but CSA said her child benefit claim for him is above board and their is nothing i can do!, AIBU to be SO pissed off a 'young man' with a full time job is getting out of paying towards his sons living costs because of his mother!

Why doesn't your Mother claim for you if you are still in full time ed and living with her?

Unless his mum has lied I dont see how she can get CB my dds stopped last september her college course wasnt on the list for getting it till she was 19, I think the mum is lying

Sounds like he's an apprentice, esp. as he only earns 300pounds a month, so the CB is legitimate

That is shit that he can just opt out of his responsibilities like that.

I'd post again about this in lone parents though op, aibu is not really the place to discuss men's financial reponsibilities towards the children they father, unless you want a kicking. It must be cunt week or something.

Honestly i don't know what scheme or anything all i know is he plays for the local football team, youth team and recently for their first team, CSA just said his mother still gets CB so ds won't get regular payments, I've discussed us setting up payments between one day he agrees the next he won't, i've asked if he will just buy clothes nappies etc if he would prefer that and as of this day DS being 18 months not a penny has he given me for DS

echo its not possible to get CB for someone who is in receipt of CB

Does he have contact with the child?

Are you on speaking terms with his mother?

op are you getting all the benefits you should? such as child tax credits?

My mother doesn't claim as it is part time education, i've tried in lone parents just the same kind of response, i just didn't know if i was being unreasonable to be pissed of this kind of thing can happen? i find it a kick in the teeth enough he chooses not to see DS as his football is more important and now CSA have kicked me down too

Im sure you are getting a lot more in welfare than his 10% of £300 apprenticeship would pay.

Although, you being 17, you wouldnt get the whole gamut of benefits - does your mum still get CBA for you?

i remember your last thread.
if his parents are getting cb and/or tax credits for him have you tried asking them if they would be willing to pay even the stat minimum ammount of £5 pw?

i know damn well if one of my kids had a child i would never want to watch either the child or mother suffer. if they were legally concidered to be a child then i would offer to pay untill such time as they ceased to be a child

can you get legal aid go to a solicitor and get a formal agreement and make him pay or is it all done through CSA ? he has to take some responsibility for his child, he maybe on an a scheme i dont understand why his mum gets CB I think you need to speak to his mother if he is going to be an arse about it,

BonnieBumble, he has no contact with ds:( just the odd argument or talk with me, his mother doesn't see DS or get in touch but never had a problem between us so i'd say we are on talking terms

BonnieBumble, yes i am

DO you make an effort so your son sees his gran rather than going through his dad ?

OP Maybe you should go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau and ask for a full benefits check, you should be getting Child Benefit and Child Tax credits and possibly income support as well, depending on the type of education you're in.

JumpingThroughHoops,My mother doesn't get CBA for me no, i don't get much more than him, me and ds do get by at the minute, i just want DS to have some form of acknowledgement from his father and for his father to realised he has responsibilities to his child
Socknickingpixie - i don't know if they would or if i even would feel comfortable asking really

youngmummy,

do you take dd to see his other family? if so it may be worth talking to them thats if you can all keep calm perhaps your mum could help you with talking to them

Mrsjay, I don't make the effort no, due to reasons of ds granparents being alcoholics, ds being terrified of them and other reasons so i wouldn't want to ask as i don't really make the effort to form a relationship between them

I think this man should pay something as he created a child, its unfair that these men can go impregnating people and expect to pay nothing towards the childs upkeep.
Whether he see's or doesn't see the child is irrelevent, its his baby too

Socknickingpixie, sadly the only two people ds sees often from his dads father are his auntie and uncle one who has nothing to do with her parents and the other who still lives with ds granparents on his dad side, if that makes sense! i'm scared to talk to them about money in case they are lying about ds dad education/income as ds dad got very aggressive last night when i said i believed his mother may be lying to CBA as he is not living at home

i just want DS to have some form of acknowledgement from his father and for his father to realised he has responsibilities to his child

You cannot force him to acknowledge he is a father or to pay a part in his life

You can, given time, make him have financial contribution.

Don't confuse the two issues.

What will you do if he doesn't 'make it' as a footballer and ends up with a life on the dole? Because I bet he left school with little or no qualifications, on the grounds he's been fed that he will be the next David Beckham

Tough love coming here - and I'll be shot - you need to look at your life, your child and see what you can do, and if the father ever steps up to the plate, then that's a bonus.

What I find really sad is that you have this baby, and you know next to nothing about the father.

If he is an apprentice, then the claim his mother can't claim CB, because he counts as employed. Its specifies that here:
www.hmrc.gov.uk/childbenefit/keep-up-to-date/when-child-aged-16/further-education.htm

I would call the fraud hotline and get someone to investigate it properly.

OP lets be practical, the law says you're not entitled to any maintenance from him yet, I know it must be frustrating for you but try not to get upset about it because there's nothing anyone can do.

He will be paying soon enough and maybe until your DC is 19yrs old, maybe ask his mum for some help in the mean time.

youngmummy fwiw.
if you knocked on my door and spoke to me politly i would go out of my way to make you feel comfortable i would be polite and respectfull towards you.
i would be filled with shame at the suituation as perhaps if i didnt know better i may have assumed that you would get something additional as child maintainance (some people think the csa actually pay money if the dads dont) if i was not very well off myself i would at the very least offer you something perhaps nappies or clothes or even just a fiver now and then on top of nappies or something.
if i was comfortable i would have allready offered to buy you stuff like prams ect.
i would be extreamly impressed at how brave it would be for you to knock on my door and i would bust a gut to do the right thing, and i would hope that should i do these things then i would have a better chance of you viewing me as family and as a decent person when it came to having a relationship with grandchild

JumpingThroughHoops, i think maybe you're being a little judgemental, i don't know much about DS dad's working life as that is his private business he chooses not to share with me, him as a person i know well as we was in a relationship and i have known him just shy of ten years.