to feel my neighbour was being rather rude towards me by

[WasThisRude]

telling me to have a good evening in the middle of our chat and then staring into my eyes almost defiant?

I know they're a bit unfriendly around here but I felt insulted. This has never happened to me before!

She said hello to me and I said hello back then chated about how the garden has overgrown and how long it was. I seak to her about twice per year and she lives bang next door to me.

Next time I shan't bother.

It has bothered me greatly for some reason.

Is it a full moon tonight? Since when was it rude to wish someone a good evening?!

Why were you wittering on about your garden when she clearly didn't feel like chatting?

She started the chat.

.... This doesn't seem rude to me. So she didn't have time to stand around chatting, and extracted herself from the conversation as quickly and politely as possible. Where is the problem? Would you rather she had a) stood around and made banal small talk while her dinner burned/baby needed changing/visitor was waiting inside etc; or b) just ignored you in the first place and not got drawn in to a conversation?

It is when someone is still talking, elephants.

When the conversation has halted to the awkward pauses and both parties are wondering if the other person is going to break contact, it's a good get out.

But when chat is still flowing - it's a clear bugger off

Now I'm not sure if this is my neighbour because the details are a little different...but here is a conversation I had with my neighbour yesterday:

Her: (running out of house with no shoes on) Hi, how are you? I wanted to have a little word about the gardening..have you had the grass cut?

Me: (perplexed as we are not friends but pass each other and say hi every now and then, couple of times a year maybe?) Well, I've still to get lunch on (it's 1.30 and kids are getting angsty)Yes, grass has been cut, why?

Her: Oooh are you pregnant?

Me: Erm, no (I shall forgive her this question as it is a fact I am overweight - 2 kids under 3, no support network, constant migraines with paralysis & tons of medication - yes I know I'm coming up with excuses but hey...)

Her: Oh but your belly - it's so huge....(moves arms around her body to indicate just how HUGE I am)

Me: Err 'thank you'...in a sarcastic tone of voice (surprised myself there - I hate confrontation and usually stay polite before scurrying away)

Her: Oh you're welcome(?????????)

Me: (walks away,sadly and feeling pants,with my 2 wee ones moaning to be fed, as she continues muttering about gardening)

Sorry, if it's not you then I've just stolen your thread. Eek sorry

and yes. also when one person is talking and talking and talking and talking and bloody talking and haven't noticed that they no longer have audience participation , it's also used so that said audience can get the hell out of there.

I live in Scotland if that helps..?

Maybe I am being thick but I just don't get it. If there is a natural pause in the conversation it is ok to say "Ok, have a pleasant evening" as a way of bringing the conversation to a close. It is rude if you are stopped in the middle of your sentence by someone saying it.

I think she is a bit thick tbh. Now I have written down the chat, I realise.I hardly ever see her and had forgotten. I won't bother again.

Yes. That's right. A pause in conversation indicating the conversation is drawing to a close - gets an ok have a pleasant evening and yes that is drawing the conversation to a close but a pause between two sentences that gets an ok have a pleasant evening is a brush off. The other person was waiting for you to draw breath in order to have an exit.

It is very complicated, my husband has spent years teaching me all this sort of stuff - basically a very complex set of social rules covering all interactions.

Meep, THAT'S rude.
Take no notice.

I've got a bloody headache just reading your shizz never mind being on the receiving end of it. I'm with your neighbour on this one.

Maybe she was desperate for a poo and had to run.

I don't get the Scotland reference?

Thanks View

Sorry Wasthis - be a big coincidence if this was you especially since details slightly vary, guess it's still a bit raw and the grass conversation seemed very similar. (Plus I am in Scotland - eek!)

Wasthis - I'd be inclined to go with my gut instinct and if you feel the body language was off and you felt it was rude I'd go by that rather than just the verbal conversation.

Shizz? Snoop dogg in de house!

I guessed you were Meep, I was joking. I'm not in Scotland.

people do alter details for many reasons (make them less identifiable, paint them in a better light, etc etc). What details are different?

staring into my eyes almost defiant?
WTF?

xpost.

I'm going to try my best to move out of here.

Just give her a smile from the distance, it sounds like you are not suited.

I haven't ever and would never say those things to anybody Meep. Totally odd amd impolite. I feel better off where I am now.

Ah the 'wee ones'

God you had me spooked there

Hecate - I agree and that's why I wondered. I was sorely tempted to start a thread yesterday (change time of day/number of kids a bit) but then I rationally know who was being unreasonable in my conversation. As for your conversation Wasthis, I'm baffled??? Didn't tell her you hated her hair, want to shag her husband, told her she looked like a pregnant hippo per chance?

Am I the only one that has come on here to check whether or not it was me?

Luckily it wasn't, but sounds like the kind of distracted rudeness I might commit if I wasn't paying enough attention :)