I don't really like DH's family which might be clouding my judgement on this. (I don't think the reasons are relevant for this and for the sake of brevity will leave it at that).
DH isn't really close to his family but he sees his parents briefly every fortnight or so. He also has a DB who he rarely sees but do all get together for Christmas and any other family gathering as decided by PIL.
DH's DB has a son who is now 13 who I'll call John before I get muddled with acronyms. I've known John since he was 5 and he has always been allowed to do and say whatever he likes as it's 'good to let kids express themselves'. Ok.
John is outspoken and rude towards my DH (thankfully he largely ignores me), frequently insulting his appearance whilst his parents and PIL look on with that sort of 'kids will be kids' face on. For some reason we are always too shocked to respond and I certainly have never felt it my place to say anything before.
This year has been very stressful for us, I'm expecting first DC and we really aren't in a great financial position. We were expected to provide John with an Easter present and when we didn't MIL pretty much told us off and for the sake of a quiet life DH went and got something. It was John's birthday yesterday and we didn't provide a present so we received a text from MIL simply saying 'John wants to know where his present is'.
We have yet to reply. I am astonished that adults are facilitating this kind of behaviour (including us of course!!) but have no idea how to handle it.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking he is rude and ungrateful and that his own parents or at least grandparents should not be encouraging this?
If I'm NBU what the heck should we do about it?!