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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pregnant with toxo, should I get rid of the cats

127 replies

apachepony · 17/07/2012 11:44

that's it really. Told this morning testing positive for toxoplasmosis. It's not the cats fault & upset to get rid o them but will we be able to look at them if we have a disabled child? In tears and feel so guilty especially as my family went on and on about the cats

OP posts:

BonnieBumble · 17/07/2012 16:07

Can you catch it twice? If the baby is ok (please God) and the antibiotics clear up your infection, can you catch it again in pregnancy or will you be immune?

What are the risks once the baby is born, can the baby pick up the infection?

hairylemon · 17/07/2012 16:08

OP I know its easy to say but please try not to think about it until you can see the specialist and get more information and the treatment you both need.

1 in 3 still means there is a 2 in 3 chance all is ok. Can you get the cats to a vet to be tested? If they havent got it then thats one less thing for you to have on your mind.

Original poster

apachepony · 17/07/2012 16:32

Btw, the "box", was the cat carrier. Dh found another part decomposed rat in the garden and in a fury of guilt (cos he got the cat) and worry put them in the carrier, not just a random cardboard box! Katherine, you are right, the kitchen was dirty. The cats shit in the garden, and were walking their dirty paws round the kitchen, also on 3 occasions brought in dead animals, which was v stressful. Since the flap has been taped up, things are more under control, but obviously too late. Yes, it could have been another source but we have to look at the most likely source. It's unfortunate my pregnancy coincided with b going out more in the spring and hunting for the first time (we knew there were rats about - told my family it was one of the justifications for the cats - but wish they weren't bringing them back to us!) I can only wait to see the consultant though unfortunately doubtful if he can give me the reassurance I am dying for tomorrow. I will just have to wait and hope and step away from dr google in the meantime

OP posts:

hairylemon · 17/07/2012 16:33

Can you get the cats tested?

Ormiriathomimus · 17/07/2012 16:34

I think that is a good idea hairy. OP would it make it better if it wasn't the cats?

Original poster

apachepony · 17/07/2012 16:36

Also vet told us before toxo testing is pretty expensive - b was sick a few weeks ago and we asked about it - so not sure worth it - only for fending off my family if it were to turn out negative. Might be better to save our money in case we decide we are better off going private from now on (no nhs here)

OP posts:

D0oinMeCleanin · 17/07/2012 16:36

It's not even 1 in 3. There is upto a 20% the baby might catch it, the risk increases further into pregnancy, although the risk of serious complicatios decreases. So for OP it less than 20%. Of those 20% only 4-6% go on to have any serious complications, even less if the infection is spotted and treat, so the risk is tiny OP. Your baby will be fine. You will be fine.

Cats don't pass on Toxo through contact with the cat, only faeces and I'm fairly confident OP won't be allowing her newborn to empty the litter tray, so providing she wears disposable gloves or simply washes her hands after handling the litter, then the baby will fine.

AFAIK you can't catch it twice. OP is now immune, some of this immunity will be passed onto the baby.

Original poster

apachepony · 17/07/2012 16:38

It would make it better if it wasn't the cats,as we wouldn't blame ourselves (or them - dh blaming b, I'm mostly blaming myself) but it seems so unlikely. They were the specific reason I got tested and I've been following all the recommendations re uncooked meat

OP posts:

KatherineKavanagh · 17/07/2012 16:39

Do you need some support with housework routines?

I didn't want to be rude suggesting your house could be in a bit if a state and everyone but you was seeing it. But if you want help and support to get on top of it, MN can support you. I kind of thought maybe your family had a point? That's a feeling I got from you anyway.

Can cats be trained to not walk on worktops ?

bakingaddict · 17/07/2012 16:43

Even if you haven't caught the toxoplasmosis from your particular cats, I think you have to look at whether it's suitable to have them around a new baby...not just because they are cats per se before anyone jumps down my throat but because of the habits they've already picked up.

They walk all over your kitchen surfaces, bring lots of rats home for you as presents do you really think that that is very sanitary when you've got stuff to do for the baby. What if forever reaason you cant BF and you have to make up FF in a kitchen where cats have been trampling all over and your DH finds random half decompsed rats.

D0oinMeCleanin · 17/07/2012 16:43

Polite as ever Katherine. You must have shit loads of friends , but yes cats can trained not to walk on work tops, although admittedly training dogs is far easier, cats tend to please themselves more.

It could be from anywhere OP, honestly, salad leaves, gardening, meat, any number of things.

You are not to blame. Please don't think that you are.

KenLeeeeeee · 17/07/2012 16:49

I would be tempted to tell the family that the cats had been tested and the results were negative, even if in truth I couldn't afford the test. You don't need additional negativity from them over it.

I can understand why you say you couldn't keep them if it transpired that the baby was at all affected by the infection, but keep in mind that you're talking worst case scenario there. Would you get rid of your garden or refuse to touch any plants again if it turned out that you'd caught it from soil? Or would you swear off salad if it had come from unwashed salad leaves? Try and keep it in that sort of perspective, and wait to see what the test results say. I really hope all is well with the baby.

hairylemon · 17/07/2012 16:54

thing is though if you think one of your cats has it active then they may need treatment so you'll be shelling out for that anyway. But Id say if you do want to keep the cats and are not perhaps looking at this as a bit of a get out of jail free card for getting rid to appease your folks (who as I say, just hit them with the pg women and farms thing to get them to stfu) then it woudl be worth paying for them to be tested, for your own peace of mind and then you can get back to cuddling B if they are ok.

And as most of us have said you are just as likely to have caught it from any number of other things than as from your cats so its not your fault, or the cats, its just one of those things. Infact in theory/my mind you are more likely to have caught it from other things as the cat is just one risk factor whereas salad, meat, gardening etc are multiple risks.

D0oinMeCleanin · 17/07/2012 16:55

I would be tempted to tell the family to fuck the fuck off and refuse to speak about it. But smiling and nodding and making non-committal noises is probably a way to lesser conflict.

Try not to let it weigh on your mind OP, easier said than done I know, but honestly, the risk is tiny and its no-one's fault, not yours, not the cats and definitely not yours. Did you hear that? It's not your fault.

You appear to be looking for something to blame and wanting to do something to 'fix it' which is normal, but there is no one to blame and no fix except the anti-bs. Try to relax.

Original poster

apachepony · 17/07/2012 16:57

My family wouldn't like cats in the house even if the cats were drenched in perfume and dressed in ballet shoes. My house prob would be a mess if I lived by myself cos housework is not my forte. However dh is almost OCD and we also have a cleaner. The biggest problem is that the cats are locked in the kitchen at night cos if they are left outside they get attacked by the local toms (both have been to the vets with bites), if they're in the hall they cry at the bedroom doors and go on my sd's bed. So at night they can get on the counters. Dh wants to leave this house anyway so hopefully layout of next house wouldn't be such a problem. The rats of course may remain a problem in any garden.
Those statistics are a bit better dooin, thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

apachepony · 17/07/2012 17:09

Also dad had mum lambing sheep throughout her pregnancies. She did have a miscarriage before me. I did mention the sheep thing previously to dad when he was going on and on.
Sadly mum also had still born twins caused by german measles in pregnancy, and my niece has ongoing ear, eye and learning difficulties caused by meningitis caught from her mum at birth, so although I will try to stay positive, I am sadly too aware of the sometimes catastrophic consequences of infections caught in pregnancy

OP posts:

Trazzletoes · 17/07/2012 17:23

Good luck tomorrow OP hope the results are good.

Schrodingershamster · 17/07/2012 19:01

If your dad starts i would mention the lambing thing again. Pregnant women shouldnt be anywhere near pregnant sheep as it can actually cause miscarriage. here for information

Hes got a cheek mentioning your cats if your mum was lambing.
I hope it all goes well for you tomorrow.

benne81 · 17/07/2012 19:23

Keep calm & don't make any rash decisions. Wait to speak to the specialist. I know someone who was diagnosed with toxo and they think she got it from pork. Diagnosed early innpregnancy & now has a wondefrul healthy 15month old - no probs.

Wait to speak to the expert. Listen to their advice, ruminate & then make a decision

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 17/07/2012 20:07

OP we are all sending you luck and love and you should have an early night if you can..worry is SO tiring. As people have said, your risk is very, very low...I know tht's small comfort but try to think likea scientist...they're pragmatc and go on numbers and so should you.

Original poster

apachepony · 17/07/2012 21:10

Thank you all for your support

OP posts:

Pasanna · 17/07/2012 22:50

Hi op
I havent read all the posts so sorry if I repeat anything already said.
I tested positive for toxo with ds2 , i was previously negative with ds1 so
I was seriously worried.
Firstly they can test you again ( for me it was every month) to see your levels which help them determine when exactly you contracted it. A few months before you became pregnant is good. I didnt get the final results until the 4th month( mix up with labs) so I had given up worrying, no good for me or baby. However the rsults that they did have made it 99% certain I had contracted it before getting pregnant

With ds1 I was told by my doctor if I contracted toxo they would put me on anti biotics which would protect the baby.

As to your cats, here in France pregnancy guidelines warn you not only about cat poo but also about unwashed fruit and vegetable, gardening and undercooked meat. Only pregnant women are allowed to order well done steaks. What I'm trying to say is it wasn't necessarily your cats. Try not to panic get blood tests done to find out when you caught it and talk to your doctor about antibiotics. Look after yourself and the baby. And congratulations!
Hope this makes sense, on tiny ipone.

silvachick · 17/07/2012 23:03

I am also in the camp that cats have to take second place to a baby. I don't trust cats around babies anyway. When I was a baby I was taken to visit my aunty and quick as you like cat had jumped up on my pram and ripped my face half apart. I would rather not take the risk.

silvachick · 17/07/2012 23:05

Best wishes to you and your baby. I meant to add!

holyfishnets · 17/07/2012 23:25

Tell your family by email and tell them you don't want to hear anything of them unless it is supportive and caring as you can't take anything else.

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