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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pregnant with toxo, should I get rid of the cats

127 replies

apachepony · 17/07/2012 11:44

that's it really. Told this morning testing positive for toxoplasmosis. It's not the cats fault & upset to get rid o them but will we be able to look at them if we have a disabled child? In tears and feel so guilty especially as my family went on and on about the cats

OP posts:
Trazzletoes · 17/07/2012 12:41

The RSPCA do take in unwanted animals, yes. Because they would prefer that to the animals being abandoned/ abused.

hairylemon · 17/07/2012 12:43

I think they can give ABs Another

OP how about getting the cats to the vets to see if they can be tested and then you will know for definite if it was from one of them or not? As Another said you can also get it from meat/deli meat and salad and ready meals that might have been a bit undercooked etc.

whojamaflip · 17/07/2012 12:45

I tested positive for toxo when I was pg with dc1 - was working as dog warden so could have picked it up anywhere - its found in animal faeces so you could quite concievably picked it up while working in the garden withour gloves on - and in that case any dog, cat or fox could have been responsible.......

Fwiw I also tested positive with each of my subsequent pgs and all the dcs are fine.....

Re your cats - to be perfectly blunt you've tested positive now and the cats being rehomed will not change that one bit so why do they have to go?

I know its easy to say but try not to worry.

hairylemon · 17/07/2012 12:47

Trazzle I think they used to very freely back in the day because space wasnt an issue, but I know they are short on space so they now have to prioritise unwanted pets that are most in need so OP could be turned away and informed she needs to rehome herself.

It states this on their website aswell, I guess if OP dojues just turn up with them and refuse to go away they will have to do something but that may mean just pts.

hairylemon · 17/07/2012 12:48

www.rspca.org.uk/in-action/whatwedo/decisions/prioritisinganimals

info re: rspca rehoming

Tiago · 17/07/2012 12:49

You can cuddle him again because he is a cat who you took in and promised to look after. I'm sorry that you have toxo, however you caught it, but your cat is not simply a disposable object and none of this is his 'fault'.

If you really feel you can't keep your cats then you and your DP should contact Cats Protection etc and have them responsibly re-homed.

nymeria · 17/07/2012 12:52

The RSPCA will not necessarily take unwanted pet cats - it depends on resources, but they prioritise cruelty/neglect cases.

I'm sorry you have this worry to deal with, I can't imagine how upsetting it must be and I hope you're getting good medical advice and support to deal with it. But I have to wonder as other people have whether there's anything to be gained from 'getting rid' of your cats at this stage. As you say it isn't their fault, and there are a lot of unwanted cats out there with not enough good homes for them all.

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 17/07/2012 12:56

Oh OP how very worrying. Sad I have cats and never even thought about this...it's good that you're early on....the odds are in your favour. Look after yourselfxxx

LuckyLuckyMe · 17/07/2012 13:01

So sorry OP. You must be frantic Sad

Could you get someone to look after the cats for a few days while you have a think about what you are going to do?

I think that, right now, you need to look after yourself and your baby. In a few days you'll have come to a decision.

Don't listen to anyone who wants to make you feel guilty.

Trazzletoes · 17/07/2012 13:12

Thanks nymeria and hairy - I stand corrected.

thebody · 17/07/2012 13:32

Wait to see what specialist says first. Why would you get rid of your cats? If you already have it then it's just going to upset you lots and won't alter the diagnosis.

Too much bloody testing and frightening of pregnant women in my opinion.

Original poster
apachepony · 17/07/2012 14:09

I asked for the test for reassurance really, given b's age, the rat catching & the way they're all over the kitchen. Will never have a cat flap into a kitchen again. My booking visit was at home & the midwife (who was a cat person herself) agreed readily with my request seeing the cats. I had actually asked for the test at my visit to the gp at 6 weeks but she said to wait for booking in visit, grrrr...
The ironic thing was dh got b to cheer me up after a miscarriage last summer. A rash thing to do & unasked for but once he was here, he was here and my responsibility. Dad was going on and on and on about cats and miscarriage one week after my actual miscarriage til I got upset & told him shut up i'ld just had a miscarriage and it had nothing to do with the kitten. Family still goes on about the cats and my pregnancy (mum was here when we found dead rat in kitchen) - I'm due to go up there this weekend & heard dad in the background saying how he was going to tell me "some home truths" about the cats...and now I'm the one in 500 women who's actually got it. How am I not already immune?! And how am I going to bear my family going on about cats? Worst thing my dh is going away on Friday for work for almost 4 weeks, how will I deal with any extra scans, amnio that's necessary? I can't tell my family anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
apachepony · 17/07/2012 14:13

We were so happy last week to see our baby waving it's arms around on the scan after the worry of the first trimester after the mc, we told everyone at the weekend - I'm frantic.
Dh has calmed down and said morally we can't bring the cats to the dspca, but we'll keep them outside more...ok for older unaffectionate cat but maybe not for b. At least they've got each other

OP posts:
nizlopi · 17/07/2012 14:13

If you do decide to give your cats up, please do it in a responsible way.

Ormiriathomimus · 17/07/2012 14:19

Good luck apache.

Your family sound dreadful TBH. What 'home truths' could possibly be helpful now?

hairylemon · 17/07/2012 14:25

Firstly Id ignore the bullying family. PLENTY of women get pg with cats, your family are bang out of order to go on about it, especially as there is a chance you didnt even get it from your cats. What they are essentially saying is that any woman who gets pg should get rid of their cats which tbh shoudl be treated with the contempt it deserves. After all , people without cats can catch it just as easily. Do you do gardening? Eat salads and meat? Ready meals? You can catch it from any of these things.

Can you get your cats to the vet to get them tested? If they havent got it active then its not from them so at least you wont have to keep them outside? If they are used to being indoors its not really fair to shut them out, if thats whats going to happen it might be better to rehome them to be honest.

I dont know much about the tests but what about what Bakingaddict said about differing levels.....try not to think abotu it to omuch until you see the specialist wh omay be able to shed more light on how long you have had it and what treatments they can offer. but defo get the cats seen by the vet, maybe they need some treatment?

Original poster
apachepony · 17/07/2012 14:26

In fairness, they don't know about the toxo diagnosis though dad in particular has the sensitivity of a sledgehammer so would undoubtedly say i told u so. They're farmers and think cats are dirty things that shouldn't be in the house & dad has real hatred cos he blames them for sheep abortions in the past. Home truths likely to be cats and pregnancy in general

OP posts:
MrsHuxtable · 17/07/2012 14:26

I agree, you don't need to give the cats up. It's NOT their fault. Your familiy sounds horrible. Time you stand up to them. It's a very useful skill to have once you have a baby.

I'm sorry though that you have to go through all this worry and hope your baby is ok. But please, you are also responsible for your cats welfare and the way your DH packed them in a box is not ok or responsible!

Ohyoubadbadkitten · 17/07/2012 14:31

I'd double confirm with your gp to see if it is def ongoing and active before you make any decisions. I tested positive (had two cats plus foster cats) dd was absolutely fine. My gp was very reassuring about it and remember most pregnant owners of cats dont get tested and have no idea of their immune status.

Fluffycloudland77 · 17/07/2012 14:36

I dont see the point in re-homing the cats if you've already got toxo. Am I being thick?.

I assume that your body will fight the infection anyway and then you should be immune for any future pg?

thisisyesterday · 17/07/2012 14:41

I think I would be inclined to keep the cats but make some new house rules!

tbh having cats (or any animal) all over the kitchen worktops is pretty disgusting anyway, pregnant or not!

if you keep them out of the kitchen, and don't deal with litter tray yourself then I can't see the problem.

Would potential disability have shown up on the scan or not?

hairylemon · 17/07/2012 14:42

They don't know about the toxo? So just a hatred of cats in general? Even more of a reason to stand up to them.

But shutting them out now is not going to change anything and it Is a bit cruel tbh :(

Can you get them checked out at the vets?

TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 17/07/2012 14:43

Really hope your baby is OK, OP.

I think you should cancel your trip to see your folks if they're just going to make you feel awful.

KatherineKavanagh · 17/07/2012 14:49

I seem to be a lobe voice here

The baby could be affected, never mind about being immune now. It's the baby that needs considering.

If baby is born with issues relaying to toxo.... What then? How will everyone feel about the cats then?

And lastly, I won't be popular saying this, are you being completely honest about the cats and cleanliness? Your midwife agreed they are a problem, your family, and the rat?do people comment a lot? They are all over kitchen top etc. That's not normally acceptable is it?

KatherineKavanagh · 17/07/2012 14:50

*lone!!