To get dh to go to wedding by himself....

[mangomadness]

.....and I'll join him for the reception?

It's his oldest friends wedding, to be held in 'the' church venue of the area, reception is at nice country hotel.

I'm breastfeeding, and dd will be just over 8 weeks old. She's very much into things, even being so young, tries to look.around 360 degrees etc! She's also VERY vocal, I love this but not too sure how it'll go down in a wedding service at posh church. I'm not too sure about how feeding her during service will go down. If I end up using a side room there'll be no point in me being there as I won't be in the service. The reception will be more relaxed I think, and be better for her ad she'll get more interaction than me feeling pressure to keep her quiet! However I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to take her to reception if children aren't welcome.

So would I be U to just take her to reception if possible. If children aren't welcome is it ok to take a baby? Would I be U to not go to wedding if I can't go to reception and dh goes by himself? My brother is on a week's leave from service in war zone, and if I'm completely honest I'd rather spend time with him and my family. I'm only asking because I got the upset look from dh.

If you want to go only to part of it, then go to the Church service, as the actual wedding that is what they day is all about.

OP, you seem to be a considerate and thoughtful person.

Given that it's your DH's oldest friend's wedding, I would get DH to ask about babies. I'm not sure I would have wanted them at mine.

I would probably not go at all. Send a lovely apology with a suggestion to all get together in the future. You can enjoy your time with your brother and your DH can enjoy his time at the wedding.

I agree that it just sounds like you do not wan to go. Why do you think this is?

You may feel overwhelmed at the thought of a big "do" out with your new baby - and understandable - but don't forget you may actual enjoy it- and need a bit of a party. Newborns are hard work and getting out and facing the world can feel like a mountain. Break down the mountain. Is it actually (although you haven't realised) that you don't know what to wear with post-baby body? Then get ye to the shops OP and shop :-) Or the bf in public - phone the hotel and ask if they would be amenable to letting you have some private space to feed (often they will give you access to an unoccupied room). If you need to bf at the church leave, go to the porch - or park the car near enough so you can go and sit in the car. Is it that you hate DH's friends - then tbh that is one to discuss with your DH.

I am with TalkingNonsense - whilst I feel for you I also feel for your DH - going without your partner to a wedding sucks. And having just had your first child together he is understandably going to want to have you all together as a unit. As it is so close you are lucky that you can just pick and choose which bit to go to as you can get home fairly easily. Talk to DH, explain you do not think you can/should go to all - ask him to speak to his friends. Ask them if OK to come to a bit and which they would prefer. The best solution maybe for you to go along to the pre-breakfast drinks reception (often when the bride and groom are occupied with photos - so you can show your unity, yes show your baby off (or let you DH) and then pop back home.

You do need to act fairly promptly though so you can either save them the cost of a meal or use your spot for someone else they had to omit for cost/numbers reasons.

It wouldn't bother me or my DH to go to a wedding without each other. Not if the circumstances merited it. For all we know he might relish a day of carefree merriment.

DH is going to talk to best man/groom today.

He's going to test the waters, explain about DD being bf and moot coming to early, non pissup part of reception. Regardless of outcome for DD he'll be going to all of it which is important.

The original plan was that I'd express, get DD used to bottle, she'd stay at DM for day and night. I can't do that, I just can't leave her yet, I'm not ready. Also I'm exclusively bfing and I'm not prepared to introduce a bottle.

leander I think that he'll be able to enjoy himself and have a break! DH was once invited to a wedding and I wasn't. Didn't bother either of us that he went by himself.

I was the opposite of a bridezilla, got changed out of my wedding dress into my relaxed party dress in the toilets, even though there was a posh room for me to use, I just didn't want the fuss. I didn't have a church wedding, and there seems to be a lot of pressure to have the perceived perfect wedding, which I'd hate for my DD to spoil!

mangomadness, she might not take a bottle anyway - I spent hours and hours expressing and freezing milk with the idea that I'd be able to go out for more than an hour or two at a time and leave DS with DH. Ha bloody ha. We got the world's most stubborn bottle refuser and all that painfully expressed milk went down the sink.

All sorted. Bride and groom don't want the slightest noise, so 8 week old baby is a no! There are family children there, youngest is 5, and they're been told if they make a noise then they're out! She and me are welcome at reception for canapes, and meal if I feel up to it. So the groom suggested the exact thing that I wanted, perfect, and I get to spend the other time with my brother.

Glad it seems to be sorted to your satisfaction, Mango! :)

Perfect!

Have a great time.

Perfect result!