to not want dp shouting at the washing?

[minipeeps]

I do the cleaning and hoovering around the house, dp is supposed to do the washing but he hasn't for nearly 3 weeks solid so I had to do it today and got really cross with him. I think I do most of the housework and he's just lazy but he got shouty and said I was really untidy and disgusting instead, leaving food around, even though he does it too and it's me that'll have to clear up, and that it's not his fault he can't bear to use the hoover and mop, it's the way he was born. And he said because he has to be out more I should do most of it, and his friends agree. Surely he should be doing more or aibu?

"it's not his fault he can't bear to use the hoover and mop, it's the way he was born"

LOL! Brilliant! I might try that line with regard to ....ooh just about anything I don't like.

My friend's dh can't do any housework because- and this is a serious affliction so no sniggering in the cheap seats- his hands are too big.

If he really finds it hard to deal with dirt and mess he needs to do something to make up his part of the work - pay for a cleaner perhaps. Or perhaps explain sensibly to his partner that he can't cope. Perhaps engage her sympathy rather than shouting at her and getting cross. It seems that understanding should go both ways.

And what does him having to be out more mean?

hairy toe

He's lazy and immature

Tell him to man the fuck up and hand him the Hoover

He is taking the piss.

I too was born not liking

Sadly I still have to do it.
So does everyone else.

Showy Best excuse ever

what a load of rubbish

if he had OCD with cleanliness he would have a compulsion to clean, that would take over all else.

next time he comes out with that crap say. "Do you actually know what OCD is?" in a mocking tone.

Sterilise the mop and vacuum for him, then he can have he best time ever!

lastnerve....

Clearly it is you who does not know the nature of OCD. People who have cleanliness related OCD are not always the obsessive cleaners that you think, a lot of them totally avoid cleaning because they just can't face it and know they would never satisfy their own standards of perfection, so instead they recoil away from it and live like slobs. I've spoken to people who have OCD who were litterally terrified of the hoover or mop in the want that an arachnophobe is of spiders.

To everyone else...

Sure, he might just be lazy and lying. But he might have OCD too. I can't believe so many of you are seeing this as a feminist issue or immediately accusing him of lying. Why aren't you suggesting he goes to see a doctor or psychiatrist about this? Why aren't you asking further about the OCD? Just seems so many of you are immediately jumping to the conclusion that he's BSing. Some of you are even likening his account of being born that way (being born with OCD, he means) as to the way you are not born liking hoovering either... it's really not at all the same though is it?

The lack of empathy in this thread makes me hope that none of you go through something like this with your DH/DP because i imagine you being the most horribly unsupportive wives about it all... and that if it were you were developed OCD, that your DH/DP's would be a bit more understanding.

And before any of you say, whatever the truth ends up as, even if it is revealed eventually that he doesn't have OCD at all... the assumptions and attitudes you've all displayed are still shocking.

He managed to do the washing until three weeks ago, CogPsych.

The assumptions and attitudes of this man, if he doesn't turn out to have ocd, are what is shocking.

I think it might be interesting to see what would come of a suggestion he go for a professional evaluation.

Even if he does have OCD there are a lot of other issues, e.g. the cooking and the taking his mum for granted.

If he does have OCD of course he should see a doctor as it is obviously affecting his ability to look after himself. He should be taking responsibility to sort it out. The only reason it's not a problem for him is he expects his partner to pick up his slack and as his mates' views show, this is considered to be perfectly normal - not a MH issue at all. That's why it's a feminist issue.

Is he a big lady gaga fan?

He's got lazyfuckeritis...plus a massive dose of 'the world revolves around me'.

He wants you to take the place of his mammy

Hang on, his mother does the washing for both of you?

You have life solved, that's better than having servants, they live in the house with you.

I have OCD and cleaning actually upsets me because I don't want to come into contact with the dirt and germs I will have to deal with (yes, yes, I know, I know!!!). But guess what? I do clean because it has to be done and my DH is not my skivvy and I am an adult with responsibilities towards my own home and family.

CogPsych, as Oxford says it does not stop her being able to clean,

he is just lazy, he wears a t-shirt for days in a row but has OCD with germs? are you having a laugh people without OCD would recoil at that.

I left my ex finally because I asked him to do the washing up while I was out and he shouted that was 'the MOST DEMEANING thing I could ask a man to do'
At this time, my 82 year old grandfather, having previously done no housework all his life, was bathing and toileting my grandmother with dementia, cooking and keeping the house immaculate.
MKy ex also claimed he had OCD- the sort of OCD that meant he couldn't do anything himself but could whinge about other people's cleaning standards and tell me I wasn't brought up 'properly'.
Mothers- DON'T BRING YOUR SONS UP LIKE THIS.

"it's not his fault he can't bear to use the hoover and mop, it's the way he was born"

Oh my, that's a good one .

Another lazy git here me thinks.