to not let DH off with this?

[worrywortisworrying]

On Friday, we went out for dinner. I had 3 glasses of wine. I felt fine when we got home, but around 9:30, felt a bit dodgy and went to bed. At around10pm that night, my son was ill and DH sorted him out. The next morning, DH was furious with me for not getting up with DS.

As of 4pm yesterday, my DH has been ill. He went to bed, did not say goodbye to my DSD2 (who walked home, to save me putting my 2 kids in the car to drive her), sent me a text at 4:50am this morning to tell me that he was not going to work and to not disturb him. Sent me a text at 8:30 asking for some stuff and his book . Stayed out of sight until about 4pm and appeared until it was made VERY clear that I was NOT about to let it go and then he made a great recovery. I have left him deal with both DC since.

AIBU to make it clear that him clearing off for 24 hours because he's 'ill' is no worse than me clearing off for less than 4 hours because I'd had too much to drink (even though, as it appears, I'd probably got the same bug).

I've thrown every line he threw at me on Saturday morning back at him this afternoon. There is no way on earth I could bail for 24 hours, no questions asked. He'd go MENTAL if I asked him to take a day off work. Never mind, just sent him a text at 5am and TOLD HIM.

AIBU?

Perhaps my mind is warped by eight months of not drinking due to pregnancy, but three glasses of wine could be quite a lot. Three of the 250ml ones is near enough a full bottle, and if it was one of the stronger wines on the market that's a fair old number of units. Plenty enough to get a person fairly pissed without them being a lightweight, I should think. Particularly if drunk reasonably fast. Which they may well have been unless OP went out very early: the OP indicates that they were home before 9.30.

I find much of the rest of this situation incomprehensible, though.

When you say DS was sick, do you mean he puked and the bed had to be stripped and re-made? Cause that's a pretty grim job, I'd be thinking uncharitable thoughts if I had to do it by myself because my partner was (as it seemed) too pissed to help.

Do you live in a mansion, and have a wing each? Sweet! Is it haunted at all?!

I can't believe some of you are saying the OP is being unreasonable and are defending her husband!

The OP said she only had three glasses of wine, and with hindsight she had the same bug as her husband.

Why the fuck shouldn't her husband attend to a poorly child in the night? Chances are the OP is the one who normally does this anyway. Some of you are making out that she should be grateful her husband got up in the night ONCE. Jeez.

OP, YANBU, he sounds a total arse hole

Thankyou Hexagonal - I had 3 SMALL glasses of wine (and believe me, I can normally drink ALOT MORE than that). We went for dinner at 4pm and got home around 6pm. I bathed the kids, put them to bed, read stories etc., Around 9pm, I felt quite ill and tired, so went to bed. DH was still watching a film, so he was still up.

No, DS was not 'covered in puke', but did need his sheet changed (nothing else) and needed to be resettled. Took about 20 minutes, Max.

In the morning, I got up with them as normal and took my DD to her gym class. Then took them to the zoo. Hardly 'slacking' was I?

Boulevard - I haven't sensed any 'spirits' yet in the house (but, yes, it is large and old). We're just about to sort the cellar out... so I'll keep you posted on any strange goings on!

I really detest the general attitude from some on MN that primarily the kids are the woman's responsibilty and that we should be grateful for any 'help' that our partners/husbands give.

Ah, I remember DD's first 'sick in the night' incident. I bundled all the sheets up in horror and bunged them in the machine.

After the machine finished, I pulled out the sheets, and also a surprisingly large number of intact blueberries and pasta shapes.

Do you treat him like shyte and this his is way of revenge? He is ill which is worse than a hangover.

FFS! I didn't have a hangover. This happened 30 minutes after I went to bed. (feeling unwell) and 3 hours after I stopped drinking. I got up with the children and did all activities with them the next day.

One thing this thread has shown me is why DH feels it's his god given right to have evenings and weekends 'off' because he works. Whereas, as a SAHM, it's my god given duty to look after all aspects of the children 24/7 without any break or complaint. Most of you agree with him.

OP YANBU.
God there are some twats on here at the moment.

Obviously, I should never expect my children's father to do a single thing with his own children and, if he is forced to for some reason, I should be prepared to be shouted at because of it and grovel an apology because of his greater contribution to our lives. What with working and all.

I am officially flouncing from this thread.

Hey worrywort, like paidgofyn said there are some utter twats on this thread.

You have done nothing wrong. Your DH acted like an arse.

I don't think YABU, sorry if my post came across that way. Counting up, most people have either said YANBU or called your DH an arse, which amounts to the same thing IMO!

You did, however,forget to allow for the fact that most people will only read the first sentence of your post and then scan the rest. So a lot of people will have read, "On Friday, we went out for dinner. I had 3 glasses of wine..." and spewed forth their judgement based on that. Don't forget there are folks on here who never drink, or have a single sherry at Xmas

If you'd started with "This weekend, everyone in our house has been ill..." it all might have gone differently.

Oh, plus the whole different house/texting thing was a bit initially and kind of diverted my limited brainpower.

Fathers should have to do anything for imaginary children.

Isn't it annoying when posters don't read your op and subsequent posts properly? And then make personal attacks... Tsk.

Based on Monday's thread, of course you can't expect their father to do anything helpful - he's 'the fun one' and its your job to do all the rest - and the boring bits, the messy bits and disgusting bits are certainly your remit, even if you're at death's door.

Leave it Hawkmoon

And you never did tell us if your name was Helena...

On the basis that you were both ill, you are both BU to not support each other sympathetically. Sounds like there are other issues, of which this incident is just one symptom.

YANBU

can't believe the flack you're getting.

Even if YWBU, which you're not, I would still have to sympathise with you for the idiotic comments on this thread.

Why post if you can't be arsed to read the whole of the OP let alone any other explanatory bits? Why do you think after 3 pages you're the only person who's noticed the texting? Does it not occur to you that someone else has questioned it and it's been answered? So if you want to know why don't you just scan back a bit and find out the blimmin answer.

Hope you're feeling better OP.