to not let DH off with this?

[worrywortisworrying]

On Friday, we went out for dinner. I had 3 glasses of wine. I felt fine when we got home, but around 9:30, felt a bit dodgy and went to bed. At around10pm that night, my son was ill and DH sorted him out. The next morning, DH was furious with me for not getting up with DS.

As of 4pm yesterday, my DH has been ill. He went to bed, did not say goodbye to my DSD2 (who walked home, to save me putting my 2 kids in the car to drive her), sent me a text at 4:50am this morning to tell me that he was not going to work and to not disturb him. Sent me a text at 8:30 asking for some stuff and his book . Stayed out of sight until about 4pm and appeared until it was made VERY clear that I was NOT about to let it go and then he made a great recovery. I have left him deal with both DC since.

AIBU to make it clear that him clearing off for 24 hours because he's 'ill' is no worse than me clearing off for less than 4 hours because I'd had too much to drink (even though, as it appears, I'd probably got the same bug).

I've thrown every line he threw at me on Saturday morning back at him this afternoon. There is no way on earth I could bail for 24 hours, no questions asked. He'd go MENTAL if I asked him to take a day off work. Never mind, just sent him a text at 5am and TOLD HIM.

AIBU?

How could you have heard your DH deal with your son if he was in a different house? He could hardly have phoned that in, could he? Your whole set up sounds very, very strange.

I can sort of see the DH's pov, if his interpretation of situation is that DW's had too much to drink and is now incapable of looking after their children - i.e. self-inflicted taking-out-of-action. He should be doing fair share of childcare but I can see he might feel left in the lurch if it appears DW's drunk too much and had to take herself to bed.

But - he should have given you the benefit of the doubt if it was a one-off, and given that it turned out to be an illness, he should have apologised for giving you a hard time.

But if you're ill, you're ill. You can't do much about it. He was being U to not be more understanding. You're being a bit U to be doing competitive illness, some people are hit harder by bugs than others.

OK, I will try to explain: THe children and I sleep in one house.. My DSDs sleep in another house. connected, but separate.
Dh usually sleeps in a 3rd area. but had not gone to that area when DS was ill. (it was mild BTW). DH 'sorted' DS and put him back to bed. Then went to his own bed. (which is separate) .
The children both come to me if they get up in the night.

When DH took ill, he went to another part of the house, utterly separate with it's own facilities, and holed up there.

As I said, it's an odd ish house.

Bloody hell there seems to be a lot of women on here with idiot partners like this

Maybe you need to sort out your living arrangements?
If he didn't have a "separate accommodation block" (wtf?) to clear off to, you mighn't have these sort of problems.
I can't believe any family really lives like this.

I don't think your husband is very reasonable for being annoyed with you for him having to sort them out once, especially as you were potentially going to be out all evening anyway, and they normally come to you in the night. IS this the only issue or are either of you feeling put upon about something else? I find that these things excalate when other stuff is brewing. Please try not to dwell on it you will just get madder and madder, or ask him to give you a nice long break when he is better. Text him a big kiss and think about moving.......

Ok OP you don't think you said let it go. I think you should.
Why post on AIBU if you don't actually want to hear anyone who disagrees with you?
Seems to be a lot of this on here recently.

If dsd lives in a connecting house, why would you drive her home?
I think he was being a bit unreasonable, I think....
But I think yabu for driving dsd next door(?)

Is the house Windsor Castle? Would explain why you need to drive between areas...

How did your DSD walk home to save you the trip of driving with 2 more DCs in the car if she lives in another but connected house?

But YANBU to expect your DH to be able to parent his own son without throwing a hissy fit like a toddler and going off for the silent treatment the next day.

Sorry, he sounds like a twat.

Sophie? And is your husband Edward?

Fascinating how other people live!!

Dh and I have separate rooms to sleep in, I'm in "his" room at the mo, the big bedroom, sky tv etc, I sleep in the spare room when it's bedtime. Snoring on both sides

Are you Helena Bonham Carter?

Seriously, he was an arse. The only thing more surprising than the number of people on here whose husbands seem to be complete penises, are the number of women who flock to defend shite behaviour.

What absolute weirdness!

Why don't you get your own private area while he deals with the kids?

I think it is possible you have a bigger issue than a stomach bug.

He is BU.

And, xkittyx is spot on. Complete penis defense.

Everything else aside, I am so intriged by your houses/houses!

hang on! The Saturday morning threads are always full of women moaning that the bloke went to bed after a heavy night on the tiles and the the advice is always - give him the kids and he can work through his hang over while she goes to bed for a lay in.

But when a woman carts her self off to bed for having one to many, everyone should pad round in slippered feet and he should sort the kids out so she can recover?

Double standards ladies, double standards.

YABU - because being drunk and having a hangover is self inflicted.

Whats with all the texting at silly o'clock anyway?

just as an aside: DSDs only spend some of their time here. DSD2 was going to see her mum, who lives in (yet another) house.

FWIW, yes, there is a lot of other stuff going on. It's not really about this weekend. It's really the fact that he sees 'his' job as much important than mine (SAHM), and really sees what I do as pretty unimportant.

Regardless of the reason, he was naffed off that he'd had to deal with DS (And, ladies, I DID NOT get to stay in bed in the morning!!!). ALl I got on Saturday morning was 'What if I hadn't been there?'... well, err, what if I hadn't been there on Sunday afternoon when you decided to naff off and just leave us all to it????

TBH, I probably was BU, but I guess I felt I just couldn't let it go. Oh well.

You went to bed at 9:30pm, your husband was still up when your DS was ill at 10pm.

It is not unreasonable to expect the parent still up to deal with your DS under these circumstances.

but why all the texting?? That is something i would expect from teenagers tbh. Maybe if you spoke to each other you would get on better?

oh ha! i was going to ask if you lived in separate houses, what with all the texting and all.

Why are there so many houses? are you mormons or something? intrigued

I gather he normally would never get up in the night (for DC) then, why is that?!

jumping through hoops, DRUNK after 3 glasses?!

Come on!

jumping she had 3 glasses of wine, hardly a binge.

It doesn't give him the right to take himself off like lord of the manor and act like an arse. 'do not disturb him'? Id have gone in with a bloody trumpet and a bucket of cold water if my DP spoke to me like that. Which he wouldn't, because he's not an arse and hes respectful.
This man has shown no respect and why anyone is sympathising with him I don't know

Parents still up looks after child who is sick and sulks because the parent in bed didn't get up to do it instead?

YANBU.