to think that it is good manners when given anything to say thank you?

[DrSeuss]

Surely it's a reflex when anything is placed in your hand or on the table in front of you? Today I fed my Y7 Spanish class various Spanish bits and pieces. I had three of them pass out the food at a table while the rest came up in groups to be served. I gave out seconds myself to those who wanted them.

I didn't do it for the thanks, I did it for them to have the experience as many have never been to Spain and those that have have tended to eat pizza and chips while there. However, at the end of the session, it occurred to me that not once had I heard the words "Thank you" addressed to myself or the kids serving the food. Is this normal these days? Surely not?

yanbu.
When my dd1 forgets to say please or thank you, I ignore her, "as I assume she hasn't finished speaking and it's rude to interrupt" :o
It drives her mad but it works.

otoh, dd2 is the most polite little girl ever. The doctors in the hospital even said that she was the youngest child they had seen saying thank you unprompted. I'm pretty sure that will all change though!

My son who is at secondary school has commented to me how he's noticed none of the boys say thank you to the dinner ladies who serve them. He always says thank you, it's only good manners.

Please may I join this thread?

My ds went to the counter and asked, "Please could I have a token for the locker?" and the lady commented on his lovely manners in a surprised tone which suggests not many children do say please and thank you.

I've always reminded mine when they were little, so it's second nature now.

wrathomum I'm so sorry, how rude of me not to welcome you. Of course you may join.

If my kids ask for something without saying 'please' I either reply with 'yes, just as soon as you ask properly' or 'no, because you didn't ask properly'.

They usually say thank you unprompted but if they forget I comment 'what do you say?'

I am also of the school - manners cost nothing and will get you far.

I think "pardon?" in response to no please is pretty rude - the child in the above example gave a pretty good response, first louder figuring the person was hard of hearing, then rephrasing figuring the person was finding it difficult to understand the question.

Why not simply say "No. since you didn't ask properly" or similar rather than pretending something else.

I think you should always say thankyou, even if its not something you want/need/like. My DD(3) has been brought up this way and people do comment on her manners

My mother used to say 'is that French for, please could you pass me....' etc. Which I bloody hated, and would have much rather just be reminded in a more direct way to say 'please'.

DS seems to have lost his manners rather than acquiring new ones. It's not always the parents' fault. Depressing.

Perrycombover "Please may I.." will lead to bullying?

That's the saddest thing I've read today

When I'm in a coffee shop and I hear, "can I get.." it's all I can to to not intervene and shake them!

Well if it's part of a lesson, they probably haven't registered that it's something you've done. At least that's what it was like in my german class when the teacher got all huffy and we couldn't understand why.