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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that no matter what you think of your child's father it is wrong to try and poison your child against him?

53 replies

HexagonalQueenOfEverything · 16/07/2012 11:18

I am getting increasingly frustrated with an acquaintance of mine. She has an 8 year old DD, who is friends with my 8 year old DD, and she split from her DD's father when her DD was 6 months old. The father cheated on her and didn't behave brilliantly but there was no violence or abuse, just him being an arse at times and then having an affair.

Anyway, she initially refused to allow the father any contact and finally after about two years he was granted access through the court; every other weekend throughout the year, with the child staying overnight, and a couple of full weeks of 'holiday' per year.

However in recent years, probably the last two, this woman has increasinly poisoned her daughter against her father. She has instilled into the little girl that the girl doesn't like her father, and that he's horrible and that she doesn't want to visit him. I've heard her saying it. I can tell her daughter agrees with her just to keep the peace. The father now has a three year old daughter too and this woman has told her DD that the three year old is not her sister and she is not allowed to refer to her as her sister.

The woman has now said she is going to stop her DD going to her fathers' house again and he can take her back to court. I feel she hasn't given any thought to her daughter's feelings, she is just going by her hatred of her ex. The little girl talk glowingly of her father when she comes round, and says she likes going there. But if her mum asks her if she likes going, she says that no, she hates her dad, and I do feel this is because her mum is poisoning her and making her feel obliged to say that. The mum is the kind of mum that just speaks for her child all the time.

AIBU to feel it's wrong. and to feel sorry for the child?

OP posts:
somedaysareatotalwasteofmakeup · 16/07/2012 15:40

Yanbu at all but there are two sides to every story you are an outsider to this situation and won't have the full picture.

Crap fathers and assholes don't wear a sign.

somedaysareatotalwasteofmakeup · 16/07/2012 15:44

And no you shouldn't badmouth the other parent I have vowed never to but I feel the pain of parents usually mothers where there is some halfwit of a father playing daddy when it suits him and the mother has to be all smiles and pretending he's a wonderful man.

How do you know that the daughter doesn't love him because he takes her for junk food every other weekend and pumps her full of sweets, coke and mcdonalds while mum has to grit her teeth and bear it?

PooPooInMyToes · 16/07/2012 16:34

Wanna. Wow that's amazing that's he's been able to change!

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