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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should have rescued her own child instead of raging at me?

239 replies

drowningyouout · 14/07/2012 17:00

Name changed for this. Regular poster and don't want this attached to my normal user name.

Weather here crap, as everywhere, but warm enough so DS (7) and I don wellies and waterproofs and take a walk down the beach.

Wind and tide conditions are making it very rough and tide was mid height and on it's way in.

We see a mum, dad and their 2 DC's on some rocks - which as you imagine are wet and slippery.

Suddenly a wave crashes up to the rocks and one of their DC's (a lad of 6) slips and falls into the sea.

The parents are understandably in a panic and the dad starts to take the smaller DC back over the rocks towards the shore whilst yelling at the lad to swim to rocks and hold on.

I can see he's in trouble take wellies and waterproofs off yell at DS to stand back from water and go in to rescue him. The tidal conditions made swimming really difficult so I take the lad towards the rocks, calling for the mum to come help him up.

She starts saying she may slip, it's too near the water and can't I take him to shore. Out of breath and not wanting to waste it talking I get to the rocks and with great difficulty get the lad out. As I did this he slipped a bit banging his head and cutting it. I cut my shin quite badly climbing out myself as waves crashed me against the rocks.

Get to the beach and coastguard have arrived and called paramedics. (There's a beach watch thing right by where we were).

Anyway the paramedic arrive after a bit a said the boy needs to go to A&E as he has a head injury and they need to check his lungs. They dressed my shin on scene.

The boy got really upset saying he'd miss his friend party this afternoon - he was actually hysterical but I suspect it was more the shock. The mum looked up and said " well you wouldn't have had to miss it if that stupid cow had taken you to shore instead of throwing you onto the rocks" Shock

I was quite impressed with the coastguard who replied " what the stupid cow who most probably just saved your DS' life?"

AIBU to think she should have done something herself if the way he was rescued was such a problem. Angry

OP posts:
OhDearNigel · 14/07/2012 22:11

Bet she couldn't swim and felt utterly impotent

My Mum can't swim. Had I been involved in a similar incident as a child she would have chucked herself into a raging sea regardless - if only to ensure that I didn't drown alone. What sort of parent doesn't try to save their child whether they are realistically able to achieve it or not ?

Original poster
drowningyouout · 14/07/2012 22:36

Wasn't air rescue jumping doubt it will make the news. Really was over as fast as it started. No-one turned up and I certainly am not going to advertise this.

I am happy with the outcome and feeling much calmer now thanks to MN. It's always good to know I can come here when I need hand holding. Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
drowningyouout · 14/07/2012 22:42

Nigel she didn't do nothing. She was yelling at him to swim but tbf as you expect she was in a horrific state. I went in about 30 seconds after he did. I cannot catagorically say she wouldn't have ever have jumped in if he needed it. But at the time I went to get him she was in no fit state to actually form any thoughts of sense.

Was just one of those awful situations you don't forsee when you go for a wander with your dc's of an afternoon - me or her!

OP posts:
hermionestranger · 14/07/2012 22:48

Drowning you are a hero. You saved a child's life today. Wow! Amazing thing to have done.

The mother wants a bloody slap in my opinion.

edam · 14/07/2012 22:53

wow, you are amazing. That lad is so ruddy lucky you were there. I do hope the Mother's reaction was shock and she's feeling extremely embarrassed now.

Original poster
drowningyouout · 14/07/2012 22:56

Thanks for all the support today. I don't see myself as a hero just someone who did what needed doing. I saw a child in trouble and a mother beside herself so took action.

I am however exhausted now and heading to bed.

I love MN - it's never fails to disappoint me and pick me up when I need it.
Grin

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 14/07/2012 23:00

id be thankful for a child with a bump on the head rather than a drowned child.

op- you deserve a medal. stop being humble-you did a bloody good thing and deserve praise!

we live in north cornwall and to me water safety is as important as road safety.

OAM2009 · 14/07/2012 23:01

Sleep tight - you'll still be a hero who saved a young boy's life tomorrow as well Smile Thanks

You are a wonderful person to do this and ignore the idiots x

sharklet · 14/07/2012 23:12

OP What a STAR you are!! I grew up in South Devon our beach was rocky and hazardous. Clambering on the rocks as the tide is coming in is lethal and little ones have perished there. Rip tides and currents can play havoc with what might look to a lay person like a safe route - so yes I would imagine I would have tried to get him to the first solid land possible and expect some bloody help from his parents!! I hope she feel blooming awful for treating you like that and that she realises that a cut on the head is better than planning a funeral.

What a total total total COW!!! I hope you bump into her somewhere and she has to apologise.

edam · 14/07/2012 23:28

What oam said - you'll still be a hero tomorrow!

helenthemadex · 14/07/2012 23:30

What a HERO you are, without you the parents could well be planning a funeral

There is no explanation for the mothers behaviour or vile words to you. I cant imagine being in her position, because despite not being the best of swimmers I would not stand there if my child was in trouble. If someone saved my child I would be sobbing with gratitude.

Hope your leg is not to painful, feet up and a very well deserved Wine

iscream · 15/07/2012 06:23

drowningyouout you are a hero. Because of you, that little boy is safe with his family. If you had not been there and dived in to rescue him, he probably would have been battered on the rocks and drowned.
I think it is great your son has seen you rescue several drowning persons, he must be very proud of you.

I hope your leg heals quickly.
Thanks

financialwizard · 15/07/2012 06:52

Drowning,

If I had been that mother I would have probably been crying my eyes out and been extremely grateful for you saving my childs life. Although as my children's mother I would have gone in after them.

Well done you.

sebastianthesingingaubergine · 15/07/2012 07:20

Oh my god! You saved his life! I also would have been overcome with gratitude I imagine.

YADNBU, I hope she feels incredibly stupid now for saying it. Silly cow herself. Forget her and feel very proud of yourself.

cinnamonnut · 15/07/2012 07:25

Wonder if she is a mumsnetter...

BoffinMum · 15/07/2012 07:33

My dad can't swim. However my brother and I got washed overboard once and he leapt in like a hero. Lots of rescuing happened. Only then we all stood up having realised the water was only a couple of feet deep at that point WinkGrin

lauratheexplorer · 15/07/2012 07:38

YANBU. Hopefully she'll realise later and apologise. I know I've said some horrible things out of shock and anger. In this situation the apology could make all the difference.

mumzy · 15/07/2012 07:44

God! Some people are so ungrateful I'd forget about her and remember with pride that you saved a little boy's life.

ponchopink · 15/07/2012 08:10

Good morning drowning. Hope you feel ok this morning. You are a totally selfless person, it could be your son left motherless this morning. I hope I could of done the same and managed to save both the boy and myself. I really think this illustrates how people think all life is like a theme park, no harm can occur, that the sea isn't a dangerous place. I think that group were totally oblivious to strong sea currents and how quickly things change. No excuse at all to her manner. I wonder again in her response that as she clearly did not see the location as dangerous, that you in her eyes, were just being totally unreasonable not taking her son to shore, as she thought it was possible, not realising the treacherous currents you were dealing with and the correct decision you made to aim for the rocks!
what a rude selfish woman. There are so many people out there like it, but I live my life hoping that good decisions and actions will be received by someone like you!! Drowning you are a heroine and I like so many other mnetters are so proud of you.

QOD · 15/07/2012 08:29

You do rock you know, but Jeslively were so lucky too!

I live by the coast, South East, and people DROWN saving other people, or dogs, or pulling floaties back, but it shows what an amazing person you are that you went in regardless.

Well done again, you're my hero

perplexedpirate · 15/07/2012 08:36

Wow. You are amazing.

Woman on the other hand is a silly cow.

thebody · 15/07/2012 08:53

Well done, very brave, your dd will remember and be very proud of you...

TheOneWithTheHair · 15/07/2012 09:00

Well chipping in to say I think you're a hero too. It was an amazingly brave thing to do. Thanks

toomuch2young · 15/07/2012 09:04

Wow you are amazing!!
Incredibly brave and should feel fantastic about yourself.
You saved a little boys life.

donnie · 15/07/2012 09:05

well done OP!

in her defence, I think the other woman was in shock and also ashamed of her own impotence in the situation. A few years ago when dd1 was a toddler, we were at a large soft play centre and she decided to 'hide' from me, thinking it was funny. I became more and more agitated and finally hysterical because I just could not bloody find her. The staff were helping me and I remember two mums came over to ask me what was wrong and I basically shouted and screamed at them Blush.

Eventually my dd was located hiding under a load of balls in the ball pond, by which time I was in pieces.

I went over and aologised profusely to the two mums - who were very gracious about it. My point is that in that situation it's hard to be rational. So maybe she feels really bad now.