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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About a childminder with Staffordshire terriers

295 replies

chilled7up · 13/07/2012 21:05

I thought I found the perfect childminder for my son until I realised that she has 2 staffs at home. They were friendly but now I'm worried and confused. What would you do?

OP posts:
Kayano · 13/07/2012 21:54

I wouldn't because I don't like dogs and don't think they should have a place in a facility or home designed for the care of other peoples children.

Any dog.

Cheriefroufrou · 13/07/2012 21:55

absolutely Kayano, its totally totally different to having a family pet IMO

pigletmania · 13/07/2012 21:56

They are wannabe, you cannot fully trust a dog. Parents are well within their rights to not go with cm if they have dogs

pigletmania · 13/07/2012 21:59

If I want a dog as a family pet, we will do lots of research into the breed of dog we want, etc, if they are already at a cm than that choice is taken out of your hands, and if you are not happy with a dog or a type of dog at a cm you are well within your rights not to use that cm and not to feel bad about it

PlumpDogPillionaire · 13/07/2012 22:01

Staffy owner and all round dog devotee speaking here.
I think that if you're wary of CM having dogs then you should talk to CM about this or follow your instincts.
I say this not because I've any problem with SBTs - I can't speak highly enough of them, they're a wonderful breed - but because I think that parents' wariness and fear of dogs transmits itself to children and I think that if anything is likely to contribute to an unsafe situation with dogs then it's fear.
I think it's possible that you'll be transmitting fear to DCs, and I don't think this is fair on DCs, the dogs or the childminder.

pumpkinsweetie · 13/07/2012 22:04

Fgs stop with the staffie hating with this thread title.
ALL dogs have the potential to harm, as long as chilminder never leaves any children alone with the dogs, i do not see a problem.
All animals should be supervised when near children, its what decent owners of all animals do.

TouTou · 13/07/2012 22:04

Personally, I wouldn't, but as I said on another thread, I used to work in A&E and was the one who sewed up cuts to the face, and this included dog bites. ALL dogs are unpredictable.
I never met a single owner who was a stereotypical thug who had a really badly trained dogs. All the dogs were beloved family pets who bit,usually because of a sudden, unpredictable circumstance.
The two phrases that would be repeated again and again and again would be 'They've never done anything like that before' and 'I only looked away/was out of the room/getting out of the car - in other words distracted - for a second'.

I'm not hysterical about dogs - we've had them and I adore them - but :
(a) if my DCs had to be around dogs all day I'd like to be in control as much as possible of the situation and you wouldn't be in control with someone elses dogs.
(b) the dog to be the kind, if they did bite, who you could disengage easily. I'm afraid staffs, rotties, even GRT would not be in that catagory.

frustratedpants · 13/07/2012 22:07

I've had various dealings with CMs with dogs

a) cm had puppy, dd1 was okay with dog. So ok with me. Granted said dog ate dd1s Shoes on a regular basis.
b) same cm got another dog (rescue) dog nervous of strangers and barks a lot. Dd1 (2yo at time) develops fear of dogs.
c) dd2 CM had terrier. Dog a little darling. Because dd2 unpredictable, CM never left them unsupervised together.
d) CM with dog. Dog has own area of garden. Everyone happy.

Also I have a lab. But would never leave my children unattended with the dog. regardless of breed you just don't know.

pigletmania · 13/07/2012 22:07

Exactly TouTou

Flisspaps · 13/07/2012 22:12

What RandomNumbers said. Ask to see her risk assessment, then base your decision on that.

hairylemon · 13/07/2012 22:23

....oh nevermind, have a HmmBiscuitHmm sandwich instead. And everyone else that it applies to, you know who you are

watermargin · 13/07/2012 22:38

I have a spaniel. It isn't that I'd be fine with her biting my child, but if she did (unlikely) yes, it would hurt, yes it would leave a mark, yes it would be upsetting and unpleasant.

a bite from a staff however ... they were bred for bull fighting, they were bred to bring down and kill an adult bull. sorry but no. x

WheresMrMonkey · 13/07/2012 23:12

I'm sure if she is a good childminder she has stairgates etc in place to keep the dogs separate. From what I have seen this is the normal practice with any childminders dogs, as others have said I really don't think the breed makes a difference. Obviously no dog can be trusted 100%, if your issue is against dogs in general then it's your right to look elsewhere but if it's just the staffie thing I'd say you are being a little unreasonable.
In my experience of Staffies, they are wonderful with people (children included) I only ever has problems with them with other dogs, but even his was not at all the majority.
The childminder will no doubt be very aware of the issue and be most careful

cheekybarsteward · 13/07/2012 23:21

I have spent so much time trying to get my DD to not be afraid of dogs and then last weekend a golden lab jumped up and bit her whilst we were on a walk. I am never going to try and go against her natural fears again...

Babylon1 · 13/07/2012 23:28

I'm with WorraLiberty on this.

Any dog can make a mess if it bites Sad

Jack Russells and Yorkshire Terriers especially can be snappy little buggers and I wouldn't trust either with children.

Staffies are lovely per se but I would need to know the dogs and chat through my concerns with CM Smile

nothingoldcanstay · 13/07/2012 23:31

cheeky - well she'll be in trouble if she meets a proper nasty dog then..dogs sense fear and will have her. Better she learns how to control her fear so that she assert some control (or at least kick it in the neither's if it does have a go).

RandomNumbers · 13/07/2012 23:34

that's a really lovely post, nothingoldcanstay, ever so reassuring for cheeky doncha think

[sarcastic face]

TouTou · 13/07/2012 23:40

Nothinggold. That is an mean thing to say. A little girl has been bitten by a dog and is undoubtably distressed by it. My sister is terrified of dogs. She stays well away from them and they haven't 'had her'.

D0oinMeCleanin · 13/07/2012 23:51

While nothinggold's post was insensitive the way it was worded I do agree with the sentiment.

My sister's children are scared of dogs and they way they behave when we have to pass one or jump into on coming traffic is nothing short of ridiculous. Their behaviour is likely to get them bitten or run over one day.

Dogs can get anxious around howling and flapping children, particularly ones who are not used to children. Anxious dogs can become snappy dogs.

Like it or not dogs are part of modern society and we have to share our streets and parks with them. That is never going to change, no matter how much you want it to, it just won't.

It makes sense to me to teach all children, from a young age, how to behave properly and safely around dogs.

Cheeky I am sorry about your dd. It must have been a terrible shock for you both. Maybe after a few months you could introduce her to a small, friendly dog if you know any and slowly build from there. I am not suggesting that you have to turn her into the world's biggest dog lover or even that she should like them or want to pet them, but for her own sanity she should be able to pass a dog on the street without breaking into a cold sweat.

PAT might have a dog in your area you could ask to meet if you don't know any small, friendly dogs.

FWIW I know and regularly interact with loads of dogs and I've never been bitten by a dog. It's very rare. The vast majority of dogs are friendly.

watermargin · 13/07/2012 23:59

I agree with doinmecleanin - I have met some children who have screamed and started running when they saw my small and friendly dog. She is only young and often thought they were playing so starts to play 'chase' - several hysterical minutes later I have an unhappy and frightened puppy and a child screaming - because a small dog was just walking along and sniffing.

I've never been bitten either, doinmecleaning is quite right, most dogs are nice and friendly.

FallenCaryatid · 14/07/2012 00:03

'Dogs can get anxious around howling and flapping children, particularly ones who are not used to children. Anxious dogs can become snappy dogs.
Like it or not dogs are part of modern society and we have to share our streets and parks with them. That is never going to change, no matter how much you want it to, it just won't.'

Yes, but as I have pointed out before, the restrictions about dogs in public continue to increase and will keep doing so. Eventually they will be muzzled in public and unleashed animals will be restricted to specific areas.
As a 6 year old, dogs often roamed free, were allowed into shops unless they sold food, crapped anywhere they liked without penalty and were generally free to be dogs. There have been a lot of changes since then, none of them increasing the freedom of dogs.
It's up to dog owners really, if you don't want them muzzled, permanently leashed unless in your home or PTS for a first biting offence, then all dog owners have to be responsible.

FallenCaryatid · 14/07/2012 00:03

'She is only young and often thought they were playing so starts to play 'chase'

Not trained to recall then?

watermargin · 14/07/2012 00:06

Yes, why do you think she's still out there now charging after random children? Grin

Fallen, to be honest most dog owners I know are nice and responsible.

FallenCaryatid · 14/07/2012 00:09

If she was trained to recall, why were there several hysterical minutes?
Your dog starts to chase children, you call her back and she comes instantly.
No minutes involved.

watermargin · 14/07/2012 00:11

I don't mean to sound sarcastic but why is it so hard to picture? we're out walking, we walk near to a child, child screams and runs, dog thinks 'ooh, game!' I call dog back and child continues to scream and howl like the world has ended :)

fortunately it has only happened twice that I can think of since I bought the dog, most children want to pet her and are very sensible, asking permission first and she just rolls on her back. She is a bit of a tart Grin

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