To puss for hearing aids over grommits?

[mummyneedingahug]

DS (4) has had glue ear most likely for years and has a moderate hearing loss.
Audiologist gave me the choice of grommits or hearing aids today and from what I have read I felt pretty confident in going for hearing aids in the hope that the glue will go (soon?).
However on telling his new class teacher my choice she looked at me like I was crazy....AIBU?

Hello mummyneedingahug - it is your decision. Different parents decide different things. I have 2 boys with hearing and glue ear problems and have made different decisions re: surgery for each of them depending on their own personal needs so there is definitely not a one-best-answer for everyone.

Maybe it would reassure you a little to know that although my first child who had grommets fitted did have complications, and I decided not to refit for him, the other child is going ahead with grommets, because I felt the benefits outweighed the risk after 6 months of waiting to see if the problem self-corrected.

If you do decide to change your mind, you might not need to wait for your next appointment. Phone the switchboard of the hospital, ask to be put through to the drs secretary and leave a message - they can probably list for surgery without needing another appointment.

PM me if you have any questions or just need someone to hold hands with. Its not easy making all these medical decisions.

I had 4 sets of grommets as a child and have normal hearing. I have no idea why you would select hearing aids over grommets. Why is that? Why has the doctor given this as an option when grommets give the option of returning normal hearing.

I had very serious glue ear when I was little - first set if grommets at 4 years old. I genuinely believe that I would have been like the poster with hearing loss. My nasal passages, sinuses, eustachian tubes are incredibly narrow even now as an adult and there is no way the glue ear would have gone on its own. Hearing aids or no hearing aids. If the doctor is pushi g for hearing aids, I would strongly suggest a second opinion

DS only had 1 set of grommets, although DH had 3 or 4 sets as a child. No infection, 1 grommet fell out on the sofa after 2 years or so, the other was picked out easily by the surgeon. TBH he recovered from his anaesthetic faster thani did, I was still wobbly while he bounced around looking for breakfast!

Ds1 is 5. Has glue ear. Given a few options of what to do in April. Decided to give medication a try. Been on trimethoprim since April and it's made no difference.

In fact, at his hearing test last week ds hearing is now worse.

Being referred to ent for grommets or hearing aids.

What the fab audiologist said to me was, grommets get rid of the problem. They remove the congestion. Hearing aids just help to live with it.

It's a very personal choice and the reason I chose the med originally is because I don't want ds to have anaesthetic and be fiddled with iyswim.

But I have already decided to go down the grommets route. Fingers crossed it will get rid of the problem first time. Good luck with whatever you decide.

You have to decide what is right for your child.
However if I were in your position I would try the Grommets. He is at such an important stage of learning new words, and improving his speech, which may be more difficult using hearing aids.
I am not saying it is an easy decission, as ultimately grommet insertion is done under anaesthetic, and that is worrying. It is a fast operation, and children do go home usually 4 hours later (sometimes a little earlier or later).
Given that you say he has probably had it for years the thought that it might go away by its self is a bit overly optimistic.

My son finally got grommets in reception year. I had agonized about the operation but went ahead. He was a bit sick and groggy afterwards but fine. The following day we walked into school and his first words were "Mummy, Mummy I can hear all the children! I can hear all the children!" He was so surprised. I cried. He'd gone through nursery and most of Yr R with very little hearing and I didn't know. He'd had repeated ear infections and was lost at school. (Still has problems but for other reasons), Suddenly his world opened up and now, ( aged 11), he sings in a choir. Grommets were the best option for us.

My DD (4) had grommets in November - a couple of infections since, but her prolonged, moderate hearing loss has been resolved and her speech and social communication, which is significantly delayed, is coming on in leaps and bounds. Our lovely ENT consultant recommends early intervention for glue ear, rather than the wait and see approach...get it sorted, let them get on with hearing and learning. For DD it's made a massive difference, and the op was absolutely fine - fish fingers and ice cream afterwards, she was happy. If it's the operation you're worried about, don't be :-)

We have done both with my dd (15) she has had 6 sets of grommets and worn a hearing aid for a few yrs too. Grommets are definately better, the hearing is normal immediately, the only problem is they often don't last long and then as soon as the next cold comes along the hearing is bad again. Also apparently you do get a certain amount of scarring with grommets (though you also do with perforations of which we have had loads )

Just to add - DD had never complained about not being able to hear, she didn't know the difference. But there is such joy on her face when she now says "My ears are WORKING, Mummy!". She had had glue ear for a long time, and is very small so very small Eustachian tubes, the congestion wouldn't have gone by itself I don't think....

In an attempt to reassure you my ds used to have lots of ear infections, but hasn't had any since he had grommets. For me the main difference was his behaviour. Prior to grommets he never 'listened', never played attention in swimming lessons, at school etc, didn't join in with songs, I guess he was labelled naughty by some (including myself). Since the op his behaviour has improved, he listens to teachers (as he can now hear them), interacts with his friends better, speech has improved and he's generally enjoying life more. I took the 'wait and see' approach for 5 years, I wish now he got the grommets earlier.

I guess this is my worry:
DS has never had an infection.
He does join in well and pays attention but socially I do feel like he doesn't have flowing conversations....but maybe thats his age. I worry as he loves swimming under water etc
I am worrying though that I have not made the right choice but I just wanted to wait a bit longer and see if it got better in 3 months as my younger DS's has.

I guess I could try the hearing aids until an op date came through...?

Because grommets require general anaesthetic, are an invasive procedure, and can lead to complications which may result in permanent damage.

Hearing aids don't have any of the dangers above. Hearings aids help hearing therefore the success stories of children being able to hear with grommets equally applies to those with hearing aids.

It is very likely that children grow out of glue ear. I did. So dis my dd when aged 6.

Check out NDCS ( national deaf childrens society) parents forum, better than here on this subject IMO.

It is a very personal decision and I will also go against the general consensus here and say give hearing aids a go if that is what you think will suit your DS.

My DS1 had glue ear leading to moderate/severe hearing loss but had never had any other problems or ear infections. I too felt about it the way you and kissingtoads seem to with regard to the cons of grommits. I also came up against quite a lot of oppostion for not giving him grommits esp from his preschool teacher. His hearing loss was also very seasonal, much better in summer (so he didnt need his aids at the beach/pool etc) and much worse in the winter when he wore them every day.

My decision was also futher swayed by a little boy in the year above DS1 at school who had grommits and then months and months and months (it was Jan- Aug) of non-stop ear infections and antibiotics with a lot of time off school and I know he really suffered and also had them redone 3 times altogether. I'm not saying this is always the case but he is not unusual in that it wasnt an easy, pain free, one-off cure.

DS chose 1 funky red aid and one blue, the school were very good at helping him with them when needed and someone came out to talk to the school about helping him and I think would even have talked to his class if necessary. He wanted the bright colours and I didnt want him to feel 'ashamed' of them and that he should try to hide the fact he had them, I talked to him about it being no different than someone needing glasses. He wore them on and off for about 18months but since being 6.5 hasnt needed them at all. It was definitely the right decision for him as far as I am concerned.

Dd (2.11) was diagnosed with glue ear yesterday. If her hearing is still poor in 3mo she will be referred to the ent consultant.
The leaflet that the audiologist gave us suggested cranial osteopathy can be helpful so we're going to try that to see if we can eliminate the need for surgery. If she does need surgery I'd rather it was done sooner rather than later so she can hear when she starts school in September

• Sept next year.

IME grommets are very temporary. Mine fell out in few months each time as my ear drum healed quickly. I ended up with some sort of T-shaped tube which stayed in place longer. It did help my glue ear, it's never been painful since. However I do have some slight hearing loss in that ear - which means that busy, noisy situations at the end of a long day (especially when I can't see people's faces properly) are hard work.

My DMum has hearing aids and finds the sound she hears through them quite distressing. She uses them as little as possible.

I think the OP has a difficult choice - but I wouldn't necessarily rule out grommets.

I know every child is different, but my son had grommets fitted when he was 2.10 years old. he had had his glue ear monitored since he was 20 months old and as it didn't improve at all in that time, and it was seriously affecting his speech development we were advised he should have grommets fitted. We were never given the option of a hearing aid.

The dr's were amazed that ds had never had an ear infection with his glue ear. Since having the grommets fitted he has only had one ear infection. One grommet fell out 2 years ago, the other is still in situ (he is now 7) and is still doing it's job.

Obviously I was not given many options for treatment for ds1 (other than have the grommets or not), but I am glad he had them, we didn't realise how much the glue ear was affecting him socially until the grommets went in. He had to have speech therapy for a year. And for several months he struggled going to toddler groups as they seemed so loud to him. It took him quite a while to be able to distinguish between sounds, but once he had got used to being able to hear the change in him was amazing. He became a very confident, outgoing boy.

It is a hard decision for you to make. I think if you son has already had glue ear for years, it is unlikely to go in the very near future. Does the glue ear seem to be affecting him a lot? Or has he adapted to cope with it ok?

My Dad had impaired hearing in childhood - never investigated or treated; then multiple ear infections followed by bilateral mastoidectomies in his early 30s & bilateral severe hearing loss, worsening with age.
Now aged 64 & still works full time; but he misses out socially.
He's tried all types of hearing aids but none of them are ideal - busy pubs & family parties are not enjoyable for him because of this.
Also boys / men usually have short hair & can't disguise hearing aids - he still gets teased now (especially as he has a grade one due to balding).
Plus has to wear glasses.
He pretends to 'go along with the joke' but it does really bother him.
He also misses out on the small things in life - my cousin's son's quiet baby chatter; my pet cat's little squeaky noises when she wants to communicate; & struggles to understand anyone with a less than clear speaking voice.
His own voice is much louder than other people's because he can't tell how loud it is; so that makes him stand out (& he's actually quite shy).

The worst thing about hearing loss & wearing hearing aids is: that if the hearing aids aren't visible & aren't that effective then no-one makes allowances for your hearing problem; they can think you are being ignorant or stupid. All problems my Dad & other partially deaf people have.

I would go with the grommets.

DS diagnosed with double glue ear aged just after 2. He had no words (DD had 200 by that age) and was tugging at his ears a lot, so I got his hearing checked. Clinical doctor said YES IT'S GROMMETS. I couldn't bear the idea of the anaesthetic, so got 2nd opinion from my homeopath. She sent me a month of homeopathic pills, and I got him some cranial osteopathy in the month. On the 31st day, DS stood up in his cot and spoke and spoke and spoke. None of us could believe it. He hasn't stopped since (we try to remember this is a blessing). Speech perfect, hearing tests all perfect, perfectly happy and sunny, lots of friends, academic success great, got into top boys' school at age 7 blah blah blah. Life is good, right?

But here's the rub.

Because DS couldn't hear for (let's guess) 2 years, in that time, some of the pathways in his brain that PROCESS what to do with sounds that come in via the ears, didn't develop as they should have in early life. Odd things that didn't seem to link together: spelling really bad though reading good, appalling handwriting, bad pencil grip, clumsy (most concussed boy in class), bedwetting, problem with background noise in classroom, short term memory bad - lost property every day and couldn't tell you what he had for lunch (I said "Aren't all 8 year old boys like that?"), never seems to take in instructions ("Aren't all 8 year old boys like that?"), can repeat what I have said, but instruction doesn't get PROCESSED in the brain (reminds me of a post I saw of someone who said PARDON a million times a day - had heard what the person said, but couldn't PROCESS it), very bothered by loud noise, very bothered by soft background noise, gets told off for talking a lot because hasn't 'heard' (ie PROCESSED) what the teacher said....list goes on...

The GOOD news is that there are many, many people out there who specialise in fine tuning the after effects of glue ear and hearing delay. Not everyone develops like this, and even those that do often end up fine, as they learn compensating skills without even realising. We saw an amazing person today who, working out DS was using the wrong part of his brain for spelling, taught him how to use a different method and within half an hour - no kidding - had him spelling HIEROGLYPHICS backwards. (Not even sure I got that right myself).

My reflections:

• Glad I trusted my instincts about hearing at the beginning - Mums just know when something isn't right.
• Getting hearing back asap was important, for reasons I wasn't to know till later.
• The 'tidying up' isn't the end of the word - it's all fixable, and even if not fixed, they are still perfectly capable of going on to be happy, successful and fulfilled.
• Sorry this was so very long....

Well I was about to post how much I agreed with those of you who said you hadn't known there was an issue, you didn't know how much it had affected your dc and their hearing. And then got too "- Glad I trusted my instincts about hearing at the beginning - Mums just know when something isn't right." so guess I am shit afterall. My dd's hearing results were a surprise to me. The improvement since she started her meds for rhinitis has been amazing but now the improvement has levelled out. I am trying to get her booked in again but no Appts till oct. I am hoping as since she's had no ear aches or need for antibiotics since starting it tgat she is 'cured' ie found tge meds tgat will make a difference only problem is having to take two types of meds twice a day.

My brother had glue ear and grommets, from the minute he woke up after the anaesthetic he was different. Inquisitive, talkative, engaging and smiling. He stopped having to have long term antibiotics (why you would put your child through that by choice I cannot fathom) and stopped needing Drs appointments and missing school. In fact it probably changed the course of his life although 30 years on he still can't pronounce some words correctly. Lemonade being one of them!

I will always remember an ENT lecture I had as a second year dental student, the surgeon said that chronic glue ear is so common that at least five of us in a room of 70 should have suffered from it and needed grommet surgery. Not one single hand went up when he asked and he said his point was to demonstrate how disruptive not being able to hear is in the formative years that it still affects your education at 18 and upwards.

That sold me on them to be honest.

BTW, my mum was a health visitor and she didn't notice for ages that he was lip reading everything so don't feel too bad for not realising!

My dd 3 yrs had grommets done last week , she had glue ear , hearing loss and speach problems , she is doing fantasticaly , she sings chats away and doesnt keep saying what .

Call the NDCS to talk it through, they have audiologists who can call you back to discuss your options. You are also entitled to a teacher of the deaf as an impartial 3rd party to talk to. And to all those that missed hearing loss, my dd was deaf from birth and not noticed until around 14 months, hv said I was paranoid at a year

Ohnomyfanjo, don't feel bad about not realising your dc couldn't hear. I only noticed ds1 couldn't hear because it was obvious. If you called his name when he had his back to you there was no response at all. Because he was my pfb I was very aware off him hitting milestones (or not). Had it been ds2 I probably wouldn't have noticed for ages if at all, because I just didn't have the time to watch his behaviours like I did ds1.