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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

3 year old breaks an older child's Game Boy, WWYD??

53 replies

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:02

Just found this out. Don't really want to give lots of details in case the mum goes on this site, so apologies for that, but it's entirely possible.

DC2 (age 3) apparently flung it a few months back, I did know about it but it wasn't mentioned again and I had honestly forgotten all about it. I gave DS2 a big row at the time. (they were in the older boy's room, unsupervised. DS2 would have no idea what it was, though of course, shouldn't be throwing anything!!)

Just found out by chance that the other boy now has a new one. I texted his mum (we are friends) and of course I offered to pay. (or at least contribute towards the new one, I think he got an upgrade!)

They have gone out so no reply yet. Does anyone have any (non-flaming) thoughts?? Just really looking for a few quick replies, don't really have time to sit and type/read! Hope that doesn't sound cheeky. WWYD??

OP posts:

pinkappleby · 12/07/2012 16:04

Y can't be U as you have offered to pay. How come you only just found out?

lisaro · 12/07/2012 16:05

You should have offered to pay immediately as your child broke it. Thant just common decency. It seems lnsulting to offer once it's been replaced.

ZeldaUpNorth · 12/07/2012 16:05

Maybe it was fine after your Ds threw it and it was then dropped by the other boy? Or dropped in the bath(yes I'm looking at you dd2) its nice of you to offer but if it wasn't your ds they might now make out it was?

WorraLiberty · 12/07/2012 16:07

I don't get why or what you're asking?

You've offered to pay.

Seona1973 · 12/07/2012 16:07

did you know it was broken at the time of the incident or was the row given just for throwing it? It maybe broke after that and was nothing to do with your ds.

PerryCombover · 12/07/2012 16:10

You've offered to pay, she'll let you know if she wants you to do so.
If you'd forgotten as you say that sounds okay

Where is the what would you do?

katykuns · 12/07/2012 16:11

It doesn't sound all that clear that your DS broke it, but it's the right thing to enquire and offer to pay...

Original poster

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:11

I offered at the time, and said would try and get my dad to fix, it was the screen that cracked.

It honestly hasn't been mentioned since and I honestly forgot all about it. When I found out today, I texted and asked. Told it worked for a day or so, then conked out. Don't know how old it is/was.

I did ask if they had tried to get the screen replaced, but said no, this model being discontinued. I do feel bad about it, I'd NEVER just ignore something like that. Just honestly went off my radar, can hardly remember my own name sometimes. and no-one ever said, by the way, it's totally broken now.

OP posts:

MetalliMa · 12/07/2012 16:11

why didn't you pay at the time?

watermargin · 12/07/2012 16:12

since you offered at the time and later I think you can be forgiven for your dippiness (and i am the same!) xx

Original poster

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:14

I was told at the time that the screen was cracked, big row given for throwing/damaging/breathing in general.

I was just asking WWYD, in regard to something that happened a while ago and has only just come to my attention, by default. She knews me well, knows I am honest, thoughtful etc (I just had her DS here at the weekend staying for 27hrs, to let her away overnight. )

I'm just surprised she hasn't mentioned it.

OP posts:

helloclitty · 12/07/2012 16:15

I don't think you should offer I think you should have given the money already. You are putting your friend in a position to have to say no. She can still refuse the money if you hand it to her but if your DC broke it you should replace.

lisaro · 12/07/2012 16:16

Ah fair enough then, but to be fair, if they refuse, I do think you should get them some vouchers to buy a couple of games.

Original poster

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:18

helloclitty

that's a fair point, but I have no idea how much to offer! I don't know how long he'd had it and it seems he now has the latest model. (she gave me £20 for having her DS at the weekend, I gave her it back and looked after him longer as she was hungover.)

OP posts:

Original poster

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:20

lisaro

that's a good idea (i do actually take him out a lot with my DS, to give her a break, she's on her own. I always offer to take hers if I'm going somewhere. Maybe that's why she hasn't said?)

OP posts:

helloclitty · 12/07/2012 16:22

I think you should have discussed this already and paid up. The fact you looked after her DS is a separate point unrelated to the broken item.
You could have bought an exact second hand replacement or given her the money for a second hand replacement and she could have decided to make the rest up to upgrade or not.

tryingtonotfeckup · 12/07/2012 16:25

cubbie, that is probably it, its a friendship with give and take and she doesn't want to jeopardise it. I think the idea of a game or two is a nice one.

I wouldn't worry too much she sounds like a good friend and everyone has let things slip at some point.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 12/07/2012 16:26

I agree completely with helloclitty.

Now that you have remembered, you need to gve them money. Your mistake was allowing yourself to forget about it in the first place.

It doesn't matter that they have bought a newer model, if the old model was no longer available, they didn't have much choice. And you don't know that there wasn't more damage than just the cracked screen, the screen is just the only bit you can see.

Original poster

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:29

helloclitty

that's all perfectly true, but she has gone and got the upgraded replacement without saying a word to me! If I'd known it was broken, I'd have done exactly as you suggest or I would have sent it off for repair. (I mentioned looking after her Ds and giving back the money she gave me for it, to show that I'm not a nasty, thoughtless person who would deliberatley ignore such a situation.)

Not trying to sound cheeky in my reply to you, I value youtr thoughts.

OP posts:

PurplePidjin · 12/07/2012 16:29

She's clearly of the opinion that Shit Happens so what's the big deal?

Original poster

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:31

Thanks outraged. I did check, the model he has is still available.

How much do you think I should offer?? (and that's true about the screen )

OP posts:

Original poster

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:32

purplepidjin

I like your style haha! That could well be it!

OP posts:

helloclitty · 12/07/2012 16:33

but cubbie you said you saw the screen was broken at the time didn't you? I thought you also offered at the time to send it off for repair but forgot about it.

I would guess she hasn't said a word to you because, like most people, she found it too embarrassing to ask. That doesn't mean she's happy with the situation though.

Ultimately, she had to buy another one because you DS broke it didn't she? Or am I missing something. Whether she chose to upgrade or not is her business.

Original poster

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:43

helloclitty

Yes, I saw the screen was broken. It was a busy day and I said to give it to my Dad in a coupleof days time to see if he could fix it. That was the last I heard of it. Then I forgot. And she didn't say, nor did the boy. (he has a condition whereby he just says whatever he thinks, and he didn't say a word to me or my DS in the months to follow.)

I just texted her to say i was worried about it. She said my dad did look at it but it couldn't be fixed. She said I worry too much and not to bother lol!

But your ARE right though, my Ds did break it. that fact hasn't changed! Just wondering what people think is a suitable amount??

(if th had happened to me, or if such an expensive item of my Ds got damaed, I would send it off to the manufacturer to try and get it fixed. It might have been something simple. I don't in any way mean that I don't approve of her getting a new one. Possibly, he's had itr ages and wanted the upgrade anyway. And that's fine, their choice. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be miffed though!)

OP posts:

Socknickingpixie · 12/07/2012 16:46

i think if i were the parent of the boy who owned the item i would probally have said to my ds that they know when little ones are around they need to put there things up high or not invite them into there rooms to play.i also wouldnt have even mentioned it to the other mum i would have just replaced it myself but be extreamly pleased if they gave my child some vouchers towards a new game.but in my house every personal room is private to its occupant and we do not say anything like "why dont you go up and play with such and such" but if you invite a person into your room you are responsable for there behaviour. we also specify that any expensive or treasured items are kept in personal rooms as opposed to the play room.(obviously the dont enter rule does not apply to me as i do the laundry)

if i were the mum of the breaker i would find out how much the item is sold for and asap just give them the cash i wouldnt ask if it was wanted i would just give it,should they decide to give it back or refuse it i would convert it to a gift voucher and give it directly to the child so they could buy themselves a toy/game

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