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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

3 year old breaks an older child's Game Boy, WWYD??

53 replies

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:02

Just found this out. Don't really want to give lots of details in case the mum goes on this site, so apologies for that, but it's entirely possible.

DC2 (age 3) apparently flung it a few months back, I did know about it but it wasn't mentioned again and I had honestly forgotten all about it. I gave DS2 a big row at the time. (they were in the older boy's room, unsupervised. DS2 would have no idea what it was, though of course, shouldn't be throwing anything!!)

Just found out by chance that the other boy now has a new one. I texted his mum (we are friends) and of course I offered to pay. (or at least contribute towards the new one, I think he got an upgrade!)

They have gone out so no reply yet. Does anyone have any (non-flaming) thoughts?? Just really looking for a few quick replies, don't really have time to sit and type/read! Hope that doesn't sound cheeky. WWYD??

OP posts:
helloclitty · 12/07/2012 16:46

So she's said not to bother then? I thought you hadn't heard back from her in your OP?

I am totally confused now because your posts aren't making much sense to me. sorry Confused

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:47

Does anyone mind if I close this thread now?? My Dh will be home in a min and I don't want him to catch me sitting about IYSWIM!!!!

Thanks very very much for all your replies, I do appreciate your thoughts. I am also planning to abscond for a while when DH gets in , got cabin fever and DC-fever haha!!!

Thanks again and I hope nobody thinks I'm being cheeky. Just want this thread to disappear now, just in case!!

I will have a look at console games while out.

OP posts:
mercibucket · 12/07/2012 16:47

I like the idea of giving a voucher for a few games - easier to accept than cash and a nice gesture
I wouldn't mention it if someone's child broke something like that but I would forever remember it and feel slightly aggrieved. I am a bit mean though :) vouchers would make it all alright. Enough to get a game would be fab

mercibucket · 12/07/2012 16:47

I like the idea of giving a voucher for a few games - easier to accept than cash and a nice gesture
I wouldn't mention it if someone's child broke something like that but I would forever remember it and feel slightly aggrieved. I am a bit mean though :) vouchers would make it all alright. Enough to get a game would be fab

cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:48

helloclitty

she hadn't texted me back when I posted my OP

So I texted her again when I was replying to you, and she texted me back straight away! Sorry for any confusion

OP posts:
cubbie · 12/07/2012 16:49

mercibucket

I agree with you
will do that

OP posts:
PurplePidjin · 12/07/2012 17:03

She said I worry too much and not to bother lol!

This is what you do. Fuck all. It's not a bigdeal. It's not a small deal. It's barely a miniscule deal. And i expect that's what your dh will tell you if he sees you on this thread Hmm

GhouliaYelps · 12/07/2012 17:11

Sorry but You are a bit all over the place op. I would have deduced you were just paying lip service and had no intention of paying for what your ds broke.

cubbie · 12/07/2012 17:40

ghouliayelps

Not sure why you think that I was just paying lip service?? Can u explain to me, not being cheeky, just genuinely asking you.

sorry is this seems all over the place, got 2 small boys clambering all over me/about the place just now!

purplepidjin

my dh doesn't mind me being online, i just wouldn't want to seem to be negelcting my motherly/housewifely duties in favour of MN!! I mean that but I don't, IYKWIM. Friend has said not to bother about a game, it costs too much. I do kinda feel a bit like you now, that she's maybe not that bothered. And i do a LOT for her in any case, am very generous. (doesn't mean that I'm not in the wrong, I know)

OP posts:
cubbie · 12/07/2012 17:57

going out
happy to close thread
thanks again to all who posted

OP posts:
MetalliMa · 12/07/2012 17:58

sorry you can't close a thread!

ariadne1 · 12/07/2012 18:16

I am a bit confused as to why the consensus seems to be that a voucher to the price of a game is OK?
Your DS ruined the console and his mum is out of pocket to the tune of a new one.

helloclitty · 12/07/2012 18:50

I think people are saying you are paying lip service is because you 'offered' to pay but had absolutely no intentions of doing so. Which is proven in the outcome.

mercibucket · 12/07/2012 19:11

Well, (to ariadne 1) it's because her friend will probably refuse the cash as she's already said she doesn't want it, and the accident happened some time ago. Also, I would not expect the full cost myself, I suppose, but just a gesture. I guess other people would expect or need the full replacement cost for a second hand equivelent but op's friend doesn't sound like she wanted that or presumably she would have asked already
Do you think that is wrong? (Genuine q)

GhouliaYelps · 12/07/2012 20:53

because cubbie you "texted her to say you were worried about it" Hmm
sorry but you just present a cheque the next time you see her and apologise profusely. job done. Not all this fannying around...

cubbie · 13/07/2012 01:50

FFS!!!!!!

Just back online and was writing big long reply when I stupidly pressed some button and lost it all!!!!

helloclitty
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but I don't know how you can say "you had absolutely no intentions of doing so. Which is proven in the outcome" (am sorry but don't know how to paraphrase)

I SAID earlier that I was going out, you have no idea what i have done or said in the interim, so I think that was a bit harsh.

I will try and rewrite what I lost. when I read her texts back, it seems I have misread/misunderstood, due to txtspk. She said the "screen wrkd" then conked out. Rightly or wrongly, I read this as the screen was CRACKED, which made me think I must have seen it on the day.

At the time, the only visible damage was to the hinge on the lid, which I thought my Dad could fix. She agreed to give to him. There was no more mention made of it, and as everyone that day had had a few glasses of wine (we were there for a party, think I mentioned that), well, I'm afraid it fell off my radar totally.

And I don't allow children upstairs in my house unsupervised, not even my home. But she was happy for the adults to sit and have a drink while the boys were upstairs, my DC WERE invited, in case anyone thinjks I just brought them, and we only stayed a couple of hours.

Yes, I realise that some of my posts might not have made complete sense, I can't get peace online when my 2 Ds are about, they are 3 and 5 so that is all the time. I was also trying to text her and update when I finally got a reply from her.

her original texts had been, oh don't bother etc. Well, I'm not the kind not to bother, hence why I WAS worried. She can't alwyas text back staright away either.

I was so upset and worried that when I went out, as I had already planned to, I had knots in my stomach and more or less cried the whole way. I am NOT the kind to let my children damage things without trying to make recompense.

I texted her how I was feeling and she couldn't understand why I was crying. I asked if her DS would want vouchers or money, what would she prefer. I had already offered earlier. She said "our friendship means more to me than a stupid DS. But if you really want to get vouchers, then Ds would love vouchers from blah"

And has told me repeatedly that I'm overthinking/overanalysing/worrying/getting stressed over nothing.

I got £50 of the vouchers, wrote to A from my Ds, I'm sorry for breaking your game. love etc xxx

And put them through the door when I got home. She texted me straight away to say "OMG, thats Far too much"

I just said, well.....

She texted back to say how excited her DS was and to thank me and to stop stressing etc. So I tried to. (but here I am, several hours later)

I have tried to do the right thing, the same day that I found it it was actually BROKEN FOR GOOD, if anyone recalls, I didn't know this at the time. which was 2 months ago.

I have also felt really bad about it. (FWIW, if it had been the other way round, my DH and I discussed that we would just chalk it up to experience, and do , in fact , what she has tried to do. ) I am mortifeid to think that this happened and I wasn't aware, we are very good friends and share a lot of confidences.

I know that we are now "good", as far as she was concerned, we were anyway!
I KNOW you can't actually close a thread, I just meant I wanted to thank people for their advice/opinions etc and leave it at that.

Apologies for any confusion, it's now late and i'm tired. I'm not a troll of any sort. i'm actually a nice. thoughtful, generous person who would give anyone the shirt off my back, so to speak. I'd also do more or less anything to help anyone, tricky chalice's thread struck a chord with me cos that's the sort of thing I'd do and have done (traipse up hill and down dale to help others, because we WANT to)

And I don't think I was "fannying around", I was tring to find out the facts from her and how she felt. I will say again, that if she had told me, I'd have sent it back to the manufacturer to see if it could be fixed. In all honesty, it cant't be the first game console to be flung onto carpet, my 3 year old is not THAT strong. Though I do still accept that he shouldn't have done it.

I'd have liked the opportunity to try and right the wrong AT THE TIME. She had her own reasons for not saying, and that's fair enough. But am sure I could have got another/got it fixed without spending what she did.

She did say there were none left of that model and they were being discontinued, but when I checked amazon when I found out today (to get an idea of price), there were LOADS. And plenty of second-hand ones. Turns out she meant there were none left in ARGOS, but my point is, if I'd been told at the time, I could have got it fixed or got another online (am quite renowned for tracking down bargains online)

Maybe he wasn't that bothered, and wanted the upgrade anyway?? I don't know. Doesn't mean I would shirk my responsibility, I'm just saying.

Have just remembered something. When we got home from the party, she texted me to ask if I or my DC had seen some gadget thingy of hers (I don't know what it was, plays music and games, not very into iphones or ipods, stuff like that am afraid)

I quizzed my 2 and for several days after. DS1 is sensible and truthful, he would have told me. He hadn't seen it and neither of them even knew what it was it was, like me. I texted her quite a few times in the following days to see if it had turned up, it hadn't and i don't know now if it has. There WERE other young children there, so it could easily have been lifted/put down by one of them. It's also entirely possible that game boy thingy had already been damaged by someone else, as there was a lot of malarky going on upstairs; lots of boys in one smallish room. lots of excitement and running around the place.

That's probably the reason why I forgot about the game, was focusing on trying to find her gadget. Not drip-feeding, just lack of recall, was 2 months ago.I can hardly remember what I did yesterday.

Anyway, all's well that ends well, it seems. Thanks again, apologies again, and good night x (for someone very tired, I seem to have written War and Peace!)

Just off to join Overthinkers Anonymous.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 13/07/2012 02:31

OP, don't worry about it! Your posts were clear to me & I can understand why you did as you did.

BleepingSooty · 13/07/2012 03:51

I was going to say the same. Way over-thinking it. You did the right thing. Take a deep breath and let it go.

bragmatic · 13/07/2012 07:00

Are they those things you have to buy games for?

Perhaps buy him a game for the new one?

bragmatic · 13/07/2012 07:02

...and I did not think you were BU, and I understood your posts.

Hawkmoon269 · 13/07/2012 08:36

Ah, op. A worrier after my own heart!

You obviously did the right thing Smile

ariadne1 · 13/07/2012 09:00

My DD broke her brothers ds at a similar age in the same way by flinging it down in frustration .The wires at the hinge es snapped which sounds the same sort of damage?

I think you have a lovely friend.I am glad you bought her DS some vouchers.

cubbie · 13/07/2012 09:40

ariadne1

Thanks, it does sound like the exact same sort of damage, though my Ds was just flinging it out of general naughtiness!!

Thanks to those who replied this morning. I'm glad I'm not the only overthinker around here!

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 13/07/2012 09:49

Vouchers for a game will be fine. If he has upgraded to a 3D, a lot of his games would be compatable and she may sell them.

My DD used to be quite rough with hers, so if another child had of flung it and it broke i still would have thought of it as accumilative damage.

Only if i was skint and my child had to do without until Christmas, would i have expected a large chunk towards it, for the child's sake.

cubbie · 13/07/2012 09:54

Thanks birdsgottafly. That's a good point about the accumulative damage, I'm sure it hadn't been wrapped in cotton wool up till now!!

She said he would like vouchers for Argos and when I posted them through her door, she said he was very excited and was going to Argos today, I presume to get a game or 2.

He normally hates shopping (due to medical condition, hates busy shops etc) so am glad he is feeling happy/excited about going.

Thanks again.

OP posts: