Seriously, am I being overly precious about this? Would appreciate some views.
DD2 was born 10 days ago. My DM, who lives overseas, is planning to come to stay for a week, the idea being that she will help me round the house when DH goes back to work.
She did the same when DD1 was born, and while it was lovely to see her I still remember her special brand of 'helping' - she's got a really overbearing, domineering personality that she has no ability or desire to control - and although she was a great help with cooking and cleaning she also showered me with unsolicited advice, accused me of 'malingering' when I had double mastitis, constantly pulled rank on me by reminding me she'd had 2 kids while I only had 1, and got offended when I didn't take her parenting advice as I was implicitly insulting the way she raised me 
The other thing about my mum is she loves a good party and is always looking for any excuse for a piss up, so whenever I am with her there is always this pressure to have a drink, have another drink, stay up as late as possible etc.
For all these reasons I have been a bit nervous about having her over again. I don't want to party, I just want to rest (am very anaemic after a PPH and not drinking much due to bf and also, frankly, because we have a newborn baby to look after!)
The whole process of planning her visit has been a bit draining tbh as we have had to negotiate everything to the last detail. For example:
- we tried to persuade her to stay in a B&B up the road instead of on our living room sofa, as we didn't want to feel pressured not to disturb her when we are up in the night with DD2 - she flat refused
- she said that her DH, my SD, might be staying for 'a few days' as well - I objected due to lack of space (and the fact that he doesn't get on with my 5-year-old DD - that is a whole other thread though) and I said if he stayed they would have to go to the B&B - she did concede that one (at least I think she did, no response to my text so I am taking it as tacit acceptance)
- she invited my DB and SIL to stay for a few days as well (in the B&B) - basically assuming I would be fine about it - I do want to see DB very much but am getting worried that this sounds more and more like a big reunion (read: another excuse for a drinking session)
She used the birth of my DD2 as an excuse to have a three day piss up - I rang her from the delivery suite and she was so pissed I could hardly talk to her - then when I spoke to her the next day she said, 'gosh, I feel as if I've run a marathon' (um, excuse me but are you the one with the massive episiotomy and 1500ml blood loss??)
The latest is she texted me today to say I should expect a delivery of £100 worth of booze to my house.
I thought she was supposed to be helping me with the DCs?!
Am tempted to text back saying, 'good luck getting through that lot then!'
Actually she would have no problem getting through that much over a week, she drinks constantly despite having her gall bladder out last year. I suspect she may have a bit of a drink problem tbh. I am not too keen on her looking after my DCs at all while she's drinking. Am not keen on her holding DD2 after she's been smoking, but that would mean she couldn't hold her at all, as she smokes 40 odd a day (in the back garden yes, but will still be on her clothes).
This whole week is going to be one long trial of constantly either reining her in or biting my tongue, isn't it. Oh god I am dreading it.
I haven't even mentioned the constant stream of Daily Mail-derived right wing political opinion which is almost as draining just to try to ignore as it is to tackle head-on....
Do you think I should be a bit more easy-going and try to get into the party atmos a bit? after all, a new baby is something to celebrate, isn't it? or should I do what I really want to do and just disappear off upstairs with my DDs at every opportunity?
Also, how do you think I should respond to the £100 load of booze text?