Principles - do they go out of the window when we become parents?

[Emphaticmaybe]

Just wondering how far parents will compromise to ensure their children's welfare and happiness even at the expense of often long held principles.

As a socialist I've encountered this in the past with the dilemma of a very unhappy ASD child in a state school. I would have never even considered private if not for his deep unhappiness at the time. I was surprised at myself but my principles seemed ridiculous in the face of his suffering, (he did in fact return to the state system after HE.)

There are lots of situations as parents where we have to make difficult choices that are in conflict with our values: the atheist and church schools, Christians and private schools, vaccinations, the environment etc.

The recent case of parents covering for their child after he had murdered his girlfriend is the extreme but many parents would admit to not informing the police over minor infringements their children may have committed.

So what are your experiences and is it even reasonable to expect parents to stick to their principles?

I'm in two minds about this.

On the one hand I think it's the case that we all have contradictory principles e.g. "I should do the best for my child." and "I think X is wrong." Some are bound to be broken.

On the other hand they're not really principles if they're only stuck to in fair weather.

emphatic principles are exactly why we sent dd initially to a state cofe school. Unfortunately because it was so inclusive excuse after excuse was made for girls who were stealing, assaulting, disrupting, swearing - all in the name of being christian and inclusive. Unfortunately the school was supporting behaviours that were criminal and immoral and those are not the values we wish to see mirrored at any school to which we send our children. Hence she left and now attends a lovely, pastoral, independent convent which is far quieter about the fact that it is a catholic school than it is about ensuring the girls grow up with a sense of fairness, duty, kindness against a moral background that supports how we live at home.

I think what I was trying to say was that it sticks in my craw when then "principles" argument is rolled out when the reason why some families dont' send their children to independent schools is entirely down to lack of funds. Lack of funds is fine saying that one's principles are what stops you is hardly principled though and I'm afraid I usually respond with a firm "well good job I don't have principles then".