My DH's brother and his family arranged to come and visit after 5 years of uncomfortable stand-off, caused by terrible rows between my MIL and SIL (never involving us). My SIL contacted me and said they'd organised flights from Glasgow to Devon, so they could stay for a weekend and then have a holiday somewhere in Cornwall for a week. We were delighted. This was march.
As the date approached, we contacted them asking for any details, where would their DCs like to sleep, dietary reqs, arrival info etc. we heard nothing. I phoned, my DH phoned. Nothing. Then a couple of weeks ago, brother phoned my DH to say he'd come alone, as he and his mad wife had separated. Ok, no problem...
A couple of Sundays ago, my BIL rang to ask us to pick him up from the airport with his DCs. 6 days earlier than expected. No apology, just he 'forgot' to tell us. My husband works away, so a few hours later, he had to leave for London. I was left with demon spawn (as it turns out) and the least assertive man I've ever met. Next day, my DS1 tells me that one of his demon cousins had told him they were staying with us for TWO WEEKS and that his mother (estranged wife) was arriving the next weekend. This was reluctantly confirmed by unassertive BIL.
After 10 days of complete knackeration (making up words, am so tired), dealing with my 3 DC and his awful 2 (diets consist of high sugar cereal, crisps and chocolate), I'm at the end of my tether. We've been used as a doss house and cafe (where his children refuse to eat what mine eat of even what each other eat). His wife arrived and went to stay in a hotel, thank god, but now I hear (again via my ds1 and his cousin), that mad estranged wife is coming to stay from tomorrow.
Bearing in mind that I wasnt informed at any stage of any of this, I'm sure I won't be asked about her. She'll just turn up with him tomorrow. I like to think that I'm a compassionate and kind person, but I'm no mug. What do I do? I'm sure I'll just smile and make up a bed, but I want to make the point that I'm not happy with all of this. How to do it without alienating them again (not that we did in the first place). DH says 'eff it, he couldn't care less if they didn't come again. Ay advice out there, words of wisdom, comfort etc. or am I being unreasonable....
Sorry for rant and ramble!