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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it very weird that my collegue doesn't eat anything during the day?

62 replies

choceyes · 11/07/2012 11:18

I share an office with my collegue and have been for nearly a year now. I have never seen him eat anything, apart from a piece of cake once when my boss gave it to him cos it was her birthday, so not be rude I think.

I find it baffling that he can go through the whole day without lunch. I've asked him and he says he doesn't feel hungry if he is busy at work. But however busy I am I always get hungry every 2/3hours or so at work.

I've offered him a biscuit on occassion and he always says no. I eat my breakfast at my desk too, plus a morning snack and an afternoon snack, plus lunch too (which I might eat elsewhere sometimes), so I feel like I am always eating! Now my BMI is about 19, so it's not a problem anyway.
My collegue is overweight I'd say (not fat), so the calories must come from somewhere and they certainly don't come from 9-5pm during the day!

He even says if he gets in late from work (he has a very long commute, 2hrs each way) he is too tired to eat dinner Shock

AIBU to be really puzzled by this?

OP posts:
GnocchiNineDoors · 11/07/2012 11:38

A friend of.mine is like this. Shes a size 8 and very active yet often only has an evening meal. However, if yiu have a buffet she will hoover it all up (then be full for about three days).

Maybe it comes down to jow fast your body digests food? For instance, if I go out for dinner with my Dmum, she wont eat all day to 'make room' whereas I can only eat X amount in one sitting irrespective of how long its been since I ate

waterlego6064 · 11/07/2012 11:38

It's not very healthy to fast all day so it's disappointing to see people celebrating it on this thread. My eating is disordered and when I'm in a bad place mentally, I go without meals. It makes me feel terrible, physically. I exercise a lot and need regular calorie intake to sustain my level of activity. Fasting usually slows the metabolism down which is why people who don't eat much sometimes don't lost weight.

Original poster
choceyes · 11/07/2012 11:39

I am quite sedentary on the 3 days that I work. Rest of the week I am very busy with the littlies, always on my feet. On the 2 days I have off with them I eat much less due to being busy - I am hungry, but not always got the opportunity to eat. And also I do intensive zumba for an hour each on both of those days. So I think my net calorie intake is lower on those days and higher on my days at work, and it kind of balances out I think.

OP posts:
confusedpixie · 11/07/2012 11:39

I can go all day without eating too. I do feel hungry some mornings, but if I eat breakfast I feel sick weirdly so ignore the hungry feeling until lunchtime, most of the time it's gone within half an hour and I don't bother with lunch though! I'm more likely to eat at work though, and do in one job as the mum boss buys or makes lovely soup each week Blush

NettoSuperstar · 11/07/2012 11:41

Eating regularly makes me feel terrible, tired, bloated and sluggish.
I don't move about much as it is, because I have severe asthma, so I don't need to be any more sedentary than I am.
I eat very well, but generally just once a day.

Original poster
choceyes · 11/07/2012 12:05

Not eating regularly makes me feel faint and dizzy and weak!

I do eat pretty healthily though, lots of fruit and veg and hardly any processed stuff (although I do like biscuits and cakes).

Will have a look at your blog Netto

OP posts:
JaceyBee · 11/07/2012 12:05

I have a colleague like this. He consumes nothing but coffee and cigarettes all day. His guts are fucking rotten and he stinks!

FallenCaryatid · 11/07/2012 12:10

I don't eat during the day either, or have breakfast. I drink a lot of coffee and have tea when I get home. then dinner around 8pm.
I tend to work through lunch and nip up to the staffroom for a quick coffee and 10 minutes break.
Don't get hungry, too stressed. I do eat around 11am in the holidays.

WorraLiberty · 11/07/2012 12:14

I often don't eat anything until dinner time....around 5pm.

Wigglewoo · 11/07/2012 12:19

I eat non stop... And I'm a size 12.... I have had a bowl of shredded wheat with sugar and milk, 4 pancakes with lemon and sugar and I'm getting hungry now and deciding what to have for lunch!! And we will have chicken curry for dinner...

I couldn't go the whole day without eating till dinnertime. Its not good for you really.. Your body's designed to refuel regularly throughout the day!!

My dh is one of those non eating types... He's 5ft 11 and about 9 stone and he will eat a massive dinner and not much else! Don't know how he does it!

Naoko · 11/07/2012 12:23

I used to have panic attacks when for one reason or another I had to eat in front of someone else. I wasn't being 'weird Hmm, I genuinely couldn't help it. I hated it and it took me many years to get over. Maybe your colleague has a similar problem?

Alternatively, maybe he's like my DP, who unless actively reminded by me shoving a plate of food under his nose will forget to eat all day long....

SPsFanjoLovesRussellHoward · 11/07/2012 12:25

I don't eat through the day either.

I only eat when I feel hungry so it might not eat for a whole day/night at times.

I don't find it weird as I have always been like this.

Also smoking stops me eating, I find that I tend to not eat when I have cigs.

WorraLiberty · 11/07/2012 12:25

I'm not sure our bodies are designed to refuel regularly throughout the day?

I can't see how that would have worked for cavemen/women really.

HecateHarshPants · 11/07/2012 12:27

I would never ever ever let anyone see me eat (I am very fat) people would talk about it - you never eat, I don't know why you're fat (I'm paraphrasing)

But they didn't see the binge eating I did at midnight.

I would rather have admitted to shagging jeremy kyle than give people the impression that I ate

Perhaps your colleage is like this?

GwendolineMaryLacey · 11/07/2012 12:33

Agree with Hecate. I'm overweight and detest eating in front of others, unless actually in a restaurant. We used to have regular afternoon tea at work and my (lovely) boss used to always say wasn't I good etc when I refused the cake. I wanted to shout, I'm obviously fucking not good am I?! :o

Original poster
choceyes · 11/07/2012 12:35

Worra that does make sense about the cavemen/woman thing. They would have eaten when there was food available and maybe nothing for ages.

I feel uncomfortable if I eat a lot at one sitting though.

Yes my collegue might have issues with eating in front of other people. Quite possible. It's not something you ever think about I guess when I've never come across somebody like that before.

OP posts:
SoleSource · 11/07/2012 12:35

You seem jealous. Mind your own business!

WorraLiberty · 11/07/2012 12:38

The OP doesn't sound jealous at all to me

Just baffled as to when her colleague eats and why he doesn't do it at work.

VolAuVent · 11/07/2012 12:45

I thought it would be a man before I opened the thread. Women are designed to need 5 smaller meals in a day, men three larger meals.

Hexenbiest · 11/07/2012 12:54

He could do a large breakfast and evening meal. I did that when I worked in a very quiet office on an industrial estate so had no option but to eat at my desk which I hated.

He could dislike eating in front of others.

He could be starving during the day and binging eating or eating calorific foods in evening.

He could have some kind of medical condition or medication that means he put on weight very easily even on a normal diet and this is his way of coping.

Original poster
choceyes · 11/07/2012 12:56

Why would I be jealous!?

I love eating and food in general, and considering myself lucky that I do feel hungry during the day, so that I can enjoy my eating!

I can see now that it is possible not be feel hungry during the day and actually when I have felt stressed during the day I don't have much of an appetite. My collegue is busy during the day true enough, but it is not a stressful job and it is a very relaxed job environment, so if he wanted to eat lunch or even take a 2 hour lunch break it won't be frowned upon as long as he does his job.

OP posts:
Laquitar · 11/07/2012 13:01

Why is she jealous?

OP i'm like you, if i don't eat often i feel unwell.

My ex could go with no food till next day, he forgets to eat. His family was the same, his mum, dsister and brother all forgot to eat! food was no priority in their house. I was starving! And they were all very active. I wonder if you learn from your family that food is only a chore in order to survive?

NorbertDentressangle · 11/07/2012 13:01

I have a male friend, mid 40s, who never eats during the day.

He works really long hours at demanding job (not a particularly physical job though) but doesn't eat breakfast or lunch. He just eats a big evening meal and, by his own admission, drinks too much wine.

Sometimes he eats during the day at weekends though if hes with friends or family, just doesn't bother on work days.

Build-wise he's tall with what I'd call middle-aged spread around his tummy.

WorraLiberty · 11/07/2012 13:11

I wonder if you learn from your family that food is only a chore in order to survive?

As much as I often don't bother eating during the day, I love food and I love cooking so to me it's not a chore.

I think I learnt from my family to only eat when I'm actually hungry.

And I think the less you eat, the less your body needs to really.

bragmatic · 11/07/2012 13:28

Quite clearly, he is a vampire.