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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect house guest to leave room clean

50 replies

kitkatco · 10/07/2012 19:11

I have just had an friend staying for a few days. She was here to watch the tennis. When she left, I went up to strip the bed etc and the guest bathroom had been left in a mess. Hairs in the shower and basin and poo on the sides of the toilet bowl, bin not emptied. This is not a B&B - who does she think is going to clean up? She knows I am a busy working mum - albeit part-time - AIBU to be seriously pissed off with her!! She left while I was at work today and left a lovely card and flowers but I am still really cross.

OP posts:
Shutupanddrive · 10/07/2012 19:14

Is there a loo brush next to loo? I agree she could have cleaned that and rinsed the shower out after she used it. Did you expect her to strip the bed? Yab a bit u I think

Nancy66 · 10/07/2012 19:18

i wouldn't expect guests to empty bins...

MashleyPegster · 10/07/2012 19:18

There was some poo in the toilet? Where would you prefer it went, get a grip!

TodaysAGoodDay · 10/07/2012 19:19

I never know whether to strip the bed or not Hmm. I always make it in any regard. And I would always clean any -ahem- skid marks.
She did leave you card and flowers, maybe she is a bit more lax with tidying at home.

Pooka · 10/07/2012 19:19

I think yabu to be so cross.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 10/07/2012 19:20

YABU. She left you a card and flowers, yet you thnk she should have emptied the bin too?

Do you expect to have to do anything as a host?

She should have rinsed the sink and shower out, but as a guest she shouldn't be expected to get the rubber gloves on and the Mr Muscle out.

The poo is a bit gross, but if you didn't leave out bleach or a toilet brush, what do you expect. She shouldn't have to go rooting through your cupboards to find cleaning stuff, I would hate it if any guest of mine started doing that, and I'd hate it even more if they felt they had to.

thekidsarealright · 10/07/2012 19:21

You sound a delightful host....Hmm

LaQueen · 10/07/2012 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CMOTDibbler · 10/07/2012 19:22

YABU - guests don't expect to clean up the room. If you wanted/expected her to, then you should have told her so

Poosnu · 10/07/2012 19:22

I think YABU. I would not expect a house guest to empty bins. If there was a toilet brush she could perhaps have cleaned the toilet but it's not a big deal. It should not take you very long to clean these things. And she left you flowers!!

CountryMouse27 · 10/07/2012 19:25

YABU, she was obviously trying to say thank you for having her over with the card and flowers.

Having guests over = a bit more cleaning required.

Original poster
kitkatco · 10/07/2012 19:25

Nancy - not go thru the house and empty the bins, but the little bin in the shower room where she has thrown her make-up pads, earbuds, tissues, etc. It has a liner so it's a simple thing to tie it up and chuck it in the kitchen bin, but maybe IABU on that.

There are cleaning products in the shower room including loo brush, and toilet cleaner. I would never expect anyone else to clean a toilet after me and I have taught my children to check the toilet is clean when they are finished.

No I didn't expect her to strip the bed. We get a lot of friends to stay and this is the first time someone has left the bathroom in this state. We regularly stay at friends in Leicester and when we leave I make sure the bedrooms and bathroom that we have used are clean and tidy. It just feels like common courtesy when you have been having a nice holiday with someone, to not leave them with anything to do except wash the towels and bedding.

OP posts:
MarysBeard · 10/07/2012 19:25

YABVU I think.

LaQueen · 10/07/2012 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

waterwatereverywhere · 10/07/2012 19:27

YABU in some respects. While I would expect a house guest to clean their poo off the toilet if they had a brush available, I would absolutely not expect them to clean the bathroom, strip the bed or empty the bin!
That's what being a good hostess is about. If I have friends visit I just want them there to enjoy their company and I want them to relax and enjoy their stay. If I have to spend 1/2 an hour cleaning the room after that's fine.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 10/07/2012 19:27

YABU. I would never expect a guest to clean their room. I would also prefer it if they did not even strip the bed! As for cleaning the bathroom and loo, you must be joking! I agree that poo stripes could be wiped away but if you did not put out anything for that purpose, then how was she supposed to do that?

I would DEF not expect a guest to empty the bin!!

Tawnyhairedandgoldenlimbed · 10/07/2012 19:27

As a guest, you ALWAYS strip the bed of duvet cover, sheets and pillow cases and you put these in an obvious pile with any towels you have used. The only reason you wouldn't do this is if you are staying in a house with staff.

Obviously you are not expected to clean, but leaving the bathroom as you would hope to find it is surely basic. OP YANBU at all.

Beamur · 10/07/2012 19:28

I don't think your friend did anything wrong (apart from the skid marks - if there was a brush they should have been cleaned off) but your expectations are obviously different.
I wouldn't expect a guest to empty their bin or strip their bed and TBH as a host, I'd be slightly miffed it they did!

yellowraincoat · 10/07/2012 19:28

YANBU about the poo, this is seriously my pet hate. How I long for Germany and its signs instructing toilet-users to clean thoroughly after use.

YABU about everything else. I would probably empty a bin but that's because I'm anally retentive. I wouldn't expect others to.

paradisechick · 10/07/2012 19:29

I'd love to spoil guests. I don't have room for any! I do think yabu though. It doesn't sound like she's left it in a total tip and surely you'd expect to be giving it the once over anyway?

Chubfuddler · 10/07/2012 19:30

If there was a loo brush she should have used it. I don't expect guests to strip the bed although they do sometimes offer. It's not always a help as laundry mountain overfloweth in this house.

Blu · 10/07/2012 19:31

It sounds as if she was using your house as a base to go to the tennis, rather than coming to see you, and that you have done her a big favour.

If I stayed at someone's house under those circumstances I would give them a good bottle of wine, probably have taken them out for a meal, and would certainly strip the bed - and would have said the night before "shall I put the bedding in the machine and leave it running when I go?". I would have given the shower and wash basin a good once over, and no way would I ever leave the toilet in a horrible state.

But I wouldn't be really mad if someone staying with me didn't makew an effort to clear up after themselves, just a bit irritated.

cantspel · 10/07/2012 19:32

everyone overnight guest or just visitor should leave the loo clean after use but i wouldn't expect a guest to empty the bin or clean the room after them.

It is nice if they do but i dont expect it

MrsBradleyCooper · 10/07/2012 19:35

YABU - empty the bin? She was a guest ffs.

Blu · 10/07/2012 19:36

I also find that child free guests have NO IDEA what it is like getting children off to school and yourself out to work in the morning , and coming home and needing to do tea, chores etc, and how extra things in the working and school week can be the last straw.