aibu expecting dh to take time off to look after sick dd?

[lilygoodtime]

Started back to work 4 months ago dd attends nursery 5 afternoons a week, i work part time and dh full.

DD has chicken pox this week so cant go to nursery, dh thinks i should take the week off with her as he cant! too busy at work, staff on holiday etc.

I have already had time off with her on two separate occasions since i started back.

I think this is unfair and that he feels his job is of more importance than mine.

Also i do not get paid if i am off, so will lose a weeks pay. Dh and i keep our money seperate and we both put in the same amount each month to cover bills etc. When i said today i would not be able to put my full amount in next month he pulled his face and said how did i manage last time!!! This has made me really mad. I only have just over £100 per month left after i put my half in.

Sorry bit long

So aibu to expect dh to either take time off himself or pay more in to our joint funds when i lose a weeks pay??

What do others do in this situation?

One thing that works for us in ensuring that we make proportionate financial contributions (as dh earns slightly more than me) is to agree that we each have the same amount left in our personal bank accounts after we have paid for family expenses. Time off to care for sick children is strictly 50:50.

lilygoodtime, in response to your DH pulling faces, I would just ask him where the hell he thinks you are going to conjure money from. That alone surely says very clearly that he IBU.

And, speaking as the high earner in my household, I wouldn't want DH to be less well off than me financially, children or not. Your DH's attitude is frankly shocking.

Glad dp is stepping up to do some of the childcare. IMO it has to be a split between you.
You still need to address finances though. There are 3 ways of doing it "fairly" - one is to tot up all the joint expenses and your combined income and make sure you each have the same left over at the end,

• alternatively to each contribute an equal portion of what you earn - this way if he is higher earner he still gets to retain some of that extra earnings
• just pay everything into and out of a joint account that you can both access.

The way you are currently organised is not fair.