to insist that DH removes this spider?

[AKMD]

There is an enormous, thick-bodied, hairy-legged spider in our living room. It has been crouching evilly under the radiator for 2 days. I have pointed it out to DH but nothing has been done.

WIBU to insist that he removes it when he gets home this evening? I cannot use the sofa or draw the curtians until it is gone and I'd prefer to know that it was outside rather than under the sofa cushions.

It's a spider, move it yourself!!!

No way. I wake up screaming about the horrid things on a semi-regular basis.

You get a glass, and a piece of card...

You get a glass, and a piece of card...

And a backbone...

What would you do if you lived alone?

It's a spider, not a masked gun toting intruder.

If (and I do stress if) you have an actual phobia, get yourself treated for it.

I have tried for several years to get over it. I can now do money spiders and I am hugely proud of myself.

If you can't shift it, borrow someone else's child to do it for you. My two regularly help out the invertebrates of all species.

Have you tried CBT?

I think hes an arse for not moving it for 2 days if he knows you are afraid, dh is spider remover in the house, he knows im terrified of them and has come home if out to get one you cant help your fears though

Vacuum it up

You left it there for TWO WHOLE DAYS ! What would you do if it runs at you when you are watching telly?

As has been said before get a glass (pint beer glass) a bit of card etc...

You can help your fears latterlov, especially if they're irrational.

If you lived alone you'd have to deal with these things and stop relying on your husband to come home from wherever he is to sort it.

That'd drive me mad.

Not BU at all if you have a proper phobia, people who don't have the same phobia won't understand you can't just 'get a backbone' and deal with it. I would expect DH to remove assuming he doesn't have a phobia as that's just the nice thing to do!

Have you tried getting treatment OP? I spent most of my life terrified of spiders then did The Friendly Spider Programme course at London Zoo and it totally changed my life (now even have a 'pet' tarantula!), might be something worth looking at?

I didn't know about such a programme Heffalump. Now I wish there was one about cockroaches because I think spiders are nice compared to them!

Buy yourself one of these - ridiculously expensive but totally worth it, and not just for spiders

tigercamettotea

'Vacuum it up'?

That's cruel...

And what if it crawled out the spout again?

Omg a glass?? Piece of cardboard?? that would mean actually getting close to it.

I'm with you op, I'm terrified of them. I couldn't leave it though, I'd have to Hoover it up.

Swat a fly, feed it to spider and adpot it as a house pet.

JamNan - It was an option. A cruel one yes, but if OP is so terrified of spiders and really wants it gone, then what is there to do? If I could be there now to catch the spider in a jar for her, I would. Not like it's possible is it?

Better not read my thread then

YANBU - however you cannot possibly be a true phobic if you have left it lurking there for two whole days!!! I could literally not be in the room with one for 2 minutes (have tried all sorts hypnotherapy etc...but remain petrified) - DH knows he has to remove them straight away and preferably without my knowledge of there even being one in the house in the first place. On the odd occasion I have been forced to deal with one alone I have sprayed it with fly killer and/or thrown a towel on it and jumped up and down like a crazy person.

I wouldn't vacuum it up (although 2yo DS hankers after oen of those mini vacuums!). I got cross once when DH squashed a spider and flushed it down the loo, on the basis that it's not their fault that I'm scared of them. I am very picky about acceptable methods of spider removal!

I suppose my point is that I am scared of spiders. Irrational, yes, but nonethless scared. DH is not. The presence of this particular spider is stopping me from using the comfy sofa with proper cushions rather than the sink-to-your-chin scatter-back sofa (and I'm pregnaaaaaaant, wah!) and I would like it to be removed.

I have no problem with tarantulas and think they're rather cute.

I used to be a spider phobic and now I can catch them and release outside... So just to say to all of you spider phobics out there (of varying degrees), there is light at the end of the tunnel. For me, I think what really helped me get over the fear was learning more about them and my DH used to catch them in jars for me and let me observe them closely for a while before releasing them. The more I saw them up close and learnt more about them, the less I found them scary. I still wouldn't be comfortable with having a spider run up my skin though, but I am able to capture them now and set free.

Then stop relying on other people and get some therapy.

If any irrational fear prevents you from going about your normal everyday life, it needs sorting.

I don't understand why some people just accept these things and expect others to sort it out for them.

Also I didn't want to pass the phobia on to my children. That was a huge motivation for me to want to get over my spider phobia. As for cockroaches... hmm... I am still rather jittery when faced with the huge ones you get in tropical places... I don't mind killing the puny ones I sometimes see in cold temperate climates. I'm not able to extend my kindness for spiders to cockroaches.

Get your dh to pick it up and get rid. I'm frightened of spiders too. And I work in an all male psychiatric intensive care unit, which is scary work sometimes!! But my dh or son get rid of the spiders in my house!!!