to insist that DH removes this spider?

[AKMD]

There is an enormous, thick-bodied, hairy-legged spider in our living room. It has been crouching evilly under the radiator for 2 days. I have pointed it out to DH but nothing has been done.

WIBU to insist that he removes it when he gets home this evening? I cannot use the sofa or draw the curtians until it is gone and I'd prefer to know that it was outside rather than under the sofa cushions.

Sorry but those of you going on about getting some backbone or doing it yourself clearly have no idea what it's like to suffer a full on phobia.

I have dealt with dead rats, live / dead mice, lizards. invading slugs, whatever the bloody cat brings in from the garden half chewed so I am not squeamish, but would leave the room before dealing with a large spider.

OP if this is the case with you and your DH knows this, then he is being an arse. YANBU.

And it's not simply the case that with CBT / hypnotherapy / aversion therapy / whatever that a real phobia can always be 'cured' (although I know many people whose phobias - or more accurately their response to triggers - has been improved).

This made me laugh. I think I have had your spiders brother in my kitchen for the last week. Dh has tried to get it a couple of times but it scurries back into its hiding place.
I think the correct answer would be to move it yourself but I haven't and won't - am terrified of the things too! Good luck!

I feel your pain. I used to be horrendously spider-phobic. (No WAY would I have gone anywhere near one with a glass and a bit of card.) But I went on the (one-day) Friendly Spider Programme at London Zoo, and I'm soooo much better now. I really recommend it if you're anywhere even vaguely near London.

Just remove it yourself.

Sorry but those of you going on about getting some backbone or doing it yourself clearly have no idea what it's like to suffer a full on phobia.

I have an intense phobia of public speaking, but I make myself do it when needed. The best way to tackle a phobia is to face it.

2 days? I'd have moved house by now.

AKMD I'm exactly the same as you, hate then but they have to be removed nicely. My DH is very good at getting them for me :) get your DH to get it when he comes home, you'll feel much better.

vaccuum it up with a long nozzle thing. It is unreasonable to insist anyone else removes spiders. I wouldn't like it if my husband insisted I remove spiders. My husband dislikes them as much as I do. My son is great at removing them. If he said no though I'd get on and do it myself.

I am totally spider phobic - cannot touch them, or photos of them, be in the same room as them, have nightmares about them etc etc.

I have done the London Zoo thing; got my money back because it made it worse, not better. My gp refuses to refer me for cbt as there are, (and I agree) far better things for the money to be spent on.

OP - the hoover is your friend. I have an understanding with the local arachnid population: The great outdoors is theirs, the inside of my house is mine, any trespassing will be met with appropriate force.

And for those who obviously don't understand that a phobia is an irrational fear of something that we can't help, stating that we need to get a backbone etc doesn't help in the slightest; I'm envious that you don't have this problem.

Fear of spiders in an atavistic fear. Being frightened of public speaking is NOT an atavistic fear at all!!! Totally different.

Spiders are awesome. You need to name it and think of it as your fly killing, slightly ugly friend It's just sitting there minding its own business and enjoying the tv.

YANBU

I have this phobia and my DP too is utterly useless at getting rid of them. It causes meltdowns on both sides.

Oh and the vacuum with the long attachment is your best friend in these circumstances even if I have to scream and leap around the room while I'm using it

Do what i did, get a job working with tarantulas, it puts things into perspective - as it were! I now have three pet spiders in the house Boris, legs, and ken. They live over the back door and keep the flies out PS i was terrified of spiders before my job (which is voluntary, beause im a muppet geek!)

what is an atavistic fear?

oh and don't kill it, everyone knows is you kill a spider you'll make it rain!!

I hate spiders, so when I lived alone I used to hoover them. Since DH came along he puts them outside. I forced myself not to run away from incy wincies since DS came along, and I have to say that they're not quite so scary now.

maandpa glad someone mentioned that there is a difference. It's damned hard to explain otherwise that e.g it is not safe for me to crawl about the eaves in the unfloored attic because in a split second I really could choose a bit of unsafe floor when confronted with s spider. It really is non-trivial for someone I've me.

That said, want or small spiders squashed? I've learned that.

Public speaking? Done a shedload of that. Piss easy. Don't like that? Get a backbone.... Perhaps worth considering that these things are personal in addition to being wildly different?

Get yourself a Spider Catcher. Long-handled brush that opens and closes via a trigger handle. Excellent for medium to large spiders and wasps. Not quite so ninja with smaller spiders, but that may be down to the operator.

I have handled many emergencies spiders with this.

Go over to it. Pick it up. Put it outside.

Job done.

My DP is a wuss. I have to do this regularly.

YANBU. Scream bloody murder til he removes it. That's what I do. Don't care what people say, can't help being terrified of the buggers. DH is Senior Spider Killer and I am Executive Wasp Swotter! He hates wasps and I'm not bothered by them. But I'll get them since he hates them so much.

How you have managed with it being there for 2 days I have no idea! I'd be beside myself with fear.

raekelly.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/bestinventionever.html
get yourself one of these

Pick it up?? Are you bloody mad??!

I inadvertently screamed this morning when I was getting ready for a shower and saw one crawling up the shower curtain :( I felt v. silly but it was just my instinctive reaction :( (that and to run away).

I'm usually fine with spiders, I get them with a glass and put them outside. Came home one day, went to go upstairs and this spider was sat on the stairs looking at me. I had to knock on my (never met before) neighbours door and ask him please could he remove it
His children piled into the house to look at it and it just sat there sadly it wouldn't fit under a glass (for an idea of size and he had to use a container
I was mortified but it was some kind of Big Daddy spider

peppa pig-mr skinnylegs

if DH wont, then get neighbour, I used to be terrified till seperated from DH, had to grow a pair and do it myself. Also have to do Mothwatch for DD which is hard, cos "they fly like they're broken" to quote Selena Gomez of Wizards of Waverly Place... I don't think you have phobia or you wouldn't have been in same room for 2 days...worst comes to worst get the hoover out, its raining anyway