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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think party bags are the work of the devil?

232 replies

bejeezus · 09/07/2012 11:42

I've stopped doing them....

Even if they cost £1.50 for contents and you have 10, that's blinkin' £15! But its easy to spend more than that. And have more kids at party

They are invariably filled with crap that is disgarded by child onto pile of discarded crap at home

They are pointless, a needless expense, and irritating

Do you do them? What do you put in them? How much does it cost you?

OP posts:
Dancergirl · 09/07/2012 13:52

You don't have to do a bag as such but I think it's nice to give something.

Buy sets of books from The Book People, they work out really cheap per book, and a packet of buttons/sweets.

Job done.

jojane · 09/07/2012 13:52

I only do gender specific if the theme lends itself to it ie princesses and knights or last yea Dora the explorer and Diego(and that was only the colour of the backpacks I made) but other years has been pirates or night garden or Halloween so everyone has had the same.

BlueberryPancake · 09/07/2012 14:08

Last year we were on a tight budget so I ended up buying a huge tub of jelly babies and jelly beans, and 'rainbow' sandwich bags from tesco (much cheaper than the loot bags). I made little parcels of sweets in the colourul bag with a nice ribbon. The kids loved it and it cost me probably less than £8 for 25 kids.

I don't do competitition. If someone gives my kids some fance toys, fine, I don't mind, and I get to keep some of the fancy chocolates...mmm

boredandrestless · 09/07/2012 14:10

Don't any of the girls want to be knights? I would have rather played at being a knight at that age! Or any of the boys want to be princesses?

Sorry - I'm on a bit of a ranty rampage today. The huggies pull up ad is on the radio every 5 minutes and it's driving me crazy!

My DS didn't know pink was supposedly meant for girls until he was nearly 5. When he started full time school. Hmm

boredandrestless · 09/07/2012 14:10

We once did a party where they decorated a biscuit to take home and they all loved it.

Bonetired · 09/07/2012 14:14

Sunflower seeds, a plastic cup and little bag of soil to plant it works well.

stealthsquiggle · 09/07/2012 14:18

boredandrestless - that's exactly why I don't do gender specific bags (with the exception of the pirates and princesses Blush DD made me) - we had several female knights at DS's knights party and there were more girls being pirates than princesses at the last pirate party we went to. I often see people with DS's agonising about what to do "for the girls" at a dinosaur (or other stereotypically "boy") party - my answer is always to give them the same as the boys - why the hell not? Annoyingly, it is easier to do that way round than to give pink stuff to boys as they are browbeaten into disliking "girly" stuff at such a young age Sad - but that is why, with the notable exception of the princess one, we have stuck to gender-neutral themes wherever possible. Jungles, Cooking, Science, Space - all can be done with no brands and no stereotyping involved.

ruralmumrants · 09/07/2012 14:22

My children are teens now but at my daughters first big party (3) I offered a slice of cake and a balloon/blower at the door one girl left in tears as wanted a bag I was shocked she was so sucked into this routine so young! The older they got the more competitive parents got with more gifts inside than the birthday child! I really object and think they send the wrong message that everyone always gets something but I had to relent in the end but the gifts I chose were always pencils, pens from sets bought cheaply and sweets if the parents thought I was tight then tough I had spent enough on the venue and food - such a shame it all gets out of hand!

BangOffTrend · 09/07/2012 14:32

We went to a party recently were the pinata had clearly been filled with old sweets from party bags, school birthdays, etc... Genius I thought. I offload them at our annual Christmas party.

I hate party bags because if you want to do unisex and non plastic tat it's going to cost you. This year it was a sheet of stickers, a balloon and a whistle sweet in a paper bag. I've saved all the tat from other parties in a box for an extreme boredom day.

I've vowed to keep a lookout for good bag fillers as I do for stocking fillers.

rockinhippy · 09/07/2012 14:34

YANBU - PITA to organise especially for bigger parties -

I stopped but offered a big homemade Pinata instead - filled it with everything from sweets to hair ties, to rubbers, pencils etc - gave DCs a bag & they filled their own party bags from the burst pinata - saved the grief of not having enough if more turn up than say they will or bring siblings, or doing too many as DCs don't turn up - no waste, no hassell filling the damned things or stressing about the amount to do.

for older parties its only been a small handful of DDs close friends, so has been much easier to do bags, silly bands, couple wrist bands(boys), hair decorations etc, cupcake & pencil/ pencil, rubber, split a moshi bag & add one each - all stuff they'll use & cheap enough due to the numbers

dotty2 · 09/07/2012 14:35

fortifiedwithtea - the 'expensive' books came from the Book People and cost £1 or less each. Fear not. Not that there's anything wrong in giving a present that only costs £1 if that's what you mean. DD1 went to a big village hall party at the w/e with 50 guests, so if they all spent £5 - 10 on a present, that would be £250 - £500 worth of presents, which would clearly be Madness.

CockOff · 09/07/2012 14:39

I always do party bags. I fill them with cheap sweets and tacky plastic tat. I don't care if parents hate them. In fact I always find the party bags the parents hate the most are the ones that go down best with the kids [evil grin]

littlebluechair · 09/07/2012 14:48

I think YABU, they are nice. I get that some people can't be arsed and that is fine, but I really like them. I make the bags from paper and I generally find stuff throughout the year so the contents are cheap.

They are a massive PITA if you leave them to the last minute - and that is when they get expensive.

But, if you can't be bothered, just put some cake, a bouncy ball and a party hat in, nothing else needed.

PatTheHammer · 09/07/2012 14:51

I couldn't be arsed with bags this year at DD's birthday thing, she was only taking 5 friends to Frankie and Benny's so in my eyes technically wasn't a party.

Anyhow, she wasn't having that.....so I don't know why I hadn't thought of this before but I bought some of those 'Lucky' bags (Hello Kitty/Ben 10) and shoved them inside a cheap party bag. Also put a slice of cake in there at the end. There was all kinds of stuff in the lucky bags, figure, sweets, colouring, puzzle, stickers etc.
Bags were 99p each. Cheap party bags were 79p for 6 (from the 99p shop Confused.

So there you go, 'luxury' pre-packed party bags for about 6 quid and took seconds to make them up.

My kids are only ever bothered about the sweets and the balloon in most party bags. I also keep and reuse the little plastic whatnots you get in there. Come in handy when having to fill raffle 'nets' and such-like for the summer fayre.

Floggingmolly · 09/07/2012 14:51

lazygirl. What do you get 100 of for £3? Envy.

RIZZ0 · 09/07/2012 14:52

I like your name CockOff, if not your crap party bags.

Grin
jojane · 09/07/2012 15:00

I really don't think there is anything wrong with giving into gender stereotypes sometimes, I know for a fact the 8 girls coming will all be dressing as princesses (as they do all morning at playschool/playdates/other parties) and none of the8boys coming will want to be princesses. The theme lends itself to having princess stuff, I o ly added the knights part as I knew the boys wouldn't want princess stuff (as opposed to if it was just knights which girls would have been ok with but as its DDs party and she wants princesses it worked out that way) wouldn't do something different for girls at say a dinosaur party or anything. Mario party will be same for everyone (unless I find some princess peach stuff whichnisnunlikely)
I do hate the political correctness which is rife, toy swords aren't going to turn every kid into a ace wielding maniac in the same way that giving kids baby dolls isn't going to mean they will be teen pregnancy statistics. What next, banning upsy daisy because she encourages lifting your skirt and kissing everyone and inviting them into your bed? Tomliboos should be banned as they constantly drop their trousers in public!

jojane · 09/07/2012 15:01

My dd is the most girls sparkly girl ever but she still loves making mud pies, catching bugs and wants to be a train driver!

paradisechick · 09/07/2012 15:02

I made sweetie cones last year. About 25 of them for about. £13. Top tip if you're doing them yourself buy flumps!

shewhowines · 09/07/2012 15:10

My bags always looked good and expensive but I wasn't trying to be competitive.

I got great pleasure shopping for bargains months in advance and I never ever spent more than £1 per child.
Sometimes it would be a single item eg a childs character filofax filled with puzzles games etc which definitely looked worth more than it cost. Other times there would be a few items.

I wasn't doing it for other parents, I was doing it for me. I would have hated to be thought of as showing off.

Condover · 09/07/2012 15:11

I do what looks like a party bag by putting a piece of cake, a balloon and a few sweets in a plastic bag, which sever the "party's over" purpose nicely.

I have also been known to recycle the plastic tat and bubbles my DC bring home...

Tip, you can buy 40 tiny (plain) plastic carrier bags on Ebay for 99p - aimed at jewellery retailers

pookamoo · 09/07/2012 15:13

I had a similar experience to shrinkingnora only we bought a pack of the Book People books for DD to give out as presents to all her friends for their birthdays. Then we went to one party where they did the same as you lot the "books instead of party bags" thing.... I was mortified! Sad

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 09/07/2012 15:23

DS is a summer birthday so I usually give them a big bubble wand (1.50 from local toy shop) plus napkin with the bit of cake in. Job done, and a number of parents have thanked me for the lack of tat!! Grin

This year cos there were fewer kids I also did a stretchy man, balloon and cheap paper glider each as well as cake, really pushing the boat out! Took 5 mins cos no difference between the boys and girls.

Normal here is a bag of tesco's best tat, nobody minds, it's not competitive, just a gesture, and long may that last.

RIZZ0 · 09/07/2012 15:38

I buy paper bags (less plastic un-recyclable tat).
They get:

-Cake
-A large Flump/marshmallow twist thing (bought a box on Ebay)
-A decent, albeit cheap toy - this year I bought from The Works online and got 3D animal puzzle or a slinky which I think were about 99p

My DD went to a party recently where two activities which were to decorate a bag (used as party bag) and make/colour a keyring (one of the fillers). Not thought of that before and would do it next time I think.

I quite like doing it and certainly wouldn't bother if I didn't want too, people should be able to do whatever they want for their own party! Don't like too many sweets in my kids bags though.

My friend just did an Olympics party where the medals were the prizes and the cake was eaten there. The kids didn't seem to notice they were leaving without a bag.

Thegoddessblossom · 09/07/2012 15:49

I saw a packet of 5 glow stick bracelets in Primark, that you have to snap for them to light up in the dark, £1 a packet - DS2's friends - (boys and girls - they are 6) will be getting one of those each and some cake after his party. The only downside being that his whole class are coming (soft play party) so it still cost me £30.