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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think party bags are the work of the devil?

232 replies

bejeezus · 09/07/2012 11:42

I've stopped doing them....

Even if they cost £1.50 for contents and you have 10, that's blinkin' £15! But its easy to spend more than that. And have more kids at party

They are invariably filled with crap that is disgarded by child onto pile of discarded crap at home

They are pointless, a needless expense, and irritating

Do you do them? What do you put in them? How much does it cost you?

OP posts:
ohmysilverballs · 09/07/2012 13:01

I hate them but my kids love them and always ask if there are going to be party bags....

missingmymarbles · 09/07/2012 13:04

I have not read the thread but the answer is YA most definitely not BU!!!
At my DD's parties they go home with a piece of cake.

stealthsquiggle · 09/07/2012 13:07

I think something to mark the end of the party and tell the little sods and their parents to go away is a worthwhile investment but I am not sure I "get" the competitive angle. My DC have had everything from pre-filled bags of stuff which must have cost a fortune, to a piece of cake in a bag, and neither they nor I care or judge or anything else as to who did what. If people want to do them, then I don't see that they should feel bad about "upping the ante" any more than people who don't want to do party bags should feel bad about that.

One approach that I have seen work with small DC (who do have a tendency especially my DD to ask "where's the party bag" in an inappopriately loud voice) is a pot of chocolate bars / other things (like flumps) which are handed out at the point of leaving - when you are 5, as long as you leave a party with something in your hand, you are happy, IMO/E.

TheLazyGirlBlog · 09/07/2012 13:08

I'm lucky, round our way the bags are pretty sensible. I've heard some ridiculous tales of Jewellery and other expensive bits and bobs.

I went to EBay. All my bits came in the "100 for £3" category for caterers and party planners. All the kids were happy as larry with their bags. I got happy meal type boxes for their lunch too- ham or cheese sandwiches, a kit kat and a bag of crisps, with some fruit on the table and jugs of juice.
It cost me (minus Bouncy Castle) £30 for the lot, including food.

MousyMouse · 09/07/2012 13:09

yanbu it's up to you.
I like the little sweets bag to get rid of the children at the end of the party
but I really hate it when the party bag is massive and bigger and possibly more expensive than the gift I bought for the birthday child.

TigerFeet · 09/07/2012 13:11

yy no competitive party bagging round here either, same plastic tat in all of them. In fact, I've considered keeping it all in a box and recycling it when the dd's had parties. Reduce, reuse and all that malarkey.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 09/07/2012 13:13

it's up to you
but kids really, genuinely love 'em
even the non-grasping ones will be ever so slightly, if silently, disappointed by no bag.

I'd just put some sweets in with their slice of cake - a fiver's worth of sweets from the pounds shop will easily do 15 party bags.

OhWesternWind · 09/07/2012 13:15

Had ds's seventh birthday party at the weekend and all I did for the party bags was put a piece of cake in, due to severe financial situation. Had one boy moaning but I rose above it all and ignored him as he had been like that for the entire party and was obviously a spoiled and obnoxious child who will never be invited again and didn't hear any more complaints. Ds certainly wasn't bothered.

Molehillmountain · 09/07/2012 13:19

I have done book people books. I think people assume that's what you've done if you give a book, and very sensible too. Dd has had different things-requesting "proper party bags" one year-ie plastic bits and bobs and sweets. It was her party so that's what we did. We use paper carrier bags from cash and carry - much cheaper and easier to fill.

SoleSource · 09/07/2012 13:24

I WANT TO GIO TO jojane's PARTY

wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

GwendolineMaryLacey · 09/07/2012 13:30

I always vowed I'd never do them but dd1's first ever party is this weekend and...I have sinned!

They have a book each, princess mask and I bought a big box of haribo at costco which is going to be put into olde worlde stripey paper bags.

fortifiedwithtea · 09/07/2012 13:37

I avoid gender specific bags. Too much to think about at the end. Matching up parent to child to right shoes and coat. Reassurring parent that their DC was an angel.

The bag contents, piece of cake, sweets, afew sweets small gift such as bubbles, card game, pencil and rubber and an un-blown up balloon. I feel for parents having to drive with a balloon bouncing around/popping on the back seat.

DD2 once received a beautiful book showing how to draw animals as a party bag gift. Gulp. So did every other child at the party. It must have cost the same as the gift we gave.

Worst party bag DD2 received a bag of polished coloured pebbles (shop bought) when she was 4 because birthday child was into crystals! Hope I haven't outed myself here. Pebbles are now decorating the flower bed.

PoppyWearer · 09/07/2012 13:41

I went totally OTT last year and this year am doing the Book People thing. And next year (already bought a pack of books on offer in readiness). And stationery sets.

One of the best going-home presents DD ever had was a large bubble wand. She was thrilled.

Keeping the party bag plastic tat away from baby DS is the bane of my life. :-(

jojane · 09/07/2012 13:42

I don't do it to be competitive (although they do go to a school which is in a very well off village so may e subconsciously I don't want people to look down on me??) but I LOOOVE planning party's, and really get into it. Never really had proper birthday parties when little so think I want my kids to have great parties. I theme the food. The games etc the invites are always themed. One year I did pirate treasure maps with maps of where the party was on complete with tea bag staining!!!
Already planning ds1s party for dec. he wants a mario kart birthday so local leisure centre does indoor go kart parties - all good you think but I have already spotted some mario, luigi and mushroom costumes this morning in the party shop so already planning on the various costumes I can provide so they can choose characters to be, and starting to think how I can theme the food!!! Also spotted some mario kart Pez dispensers so will get some of those for party bags!!!!if I had lots of money I would end up on one of those programmes about crazy million pound birthday parties!!!
Having dd's princess and knight party in local castle but won't be any more expensive than a bog standard soft play party that's the norm round here - £250 for play and food for 25 kids. I will have spent less about that if I dared to add it up but dd will have a really fun and different party I hope. We don't buy expensive birthday presents though as thy get a party and we have so much family that spoil them. As they get older and want more expensive things the parties will turn into cinema or sleepovers etc.
I'm paranoid now that I am making people feel bad although at ds1 last party some of the presents he got were more than what we had brought him!!!

HipHopOpotomus · 09/07/2012 13:42

I don't do 'princess' (though DD would love me to), I don't do gender specific gifts, I don't do guns or other killing devices (DD was 2 when she got a water pistol (in she shape of a real pistol) in a party bag - "of course" it was from a boys party ).

Last lot I made the bags myself from fabric - so the bag was part of it. Used bright funky Ikea fabric. Didn't take long (last minute panic really speeds your sewing along) & cost £5, and we are still using the leftover bags at home today. Added some sweets, stickers, shaped erasers and some cake.

Cappster · 09/07/2012 13:43

I gave everyone just a packet of plasticine once

that was my Best Parenting Year

fortifiedwithtea · 09/07/2012 13:43

BTW I hate the modern party bag coulture. In my day we were sent home with a piece of cake and were happy.

DD2 has a friend with austism. Especially for him we don't have balloons up. Nobody misses them. Last of our parties he came to, he looked in the bag and declared " hmm the usual rubbish". I had to laugh as I couldn't agree more with him.

UptoapointLordCopper · 09/07/2012 13:44

Hmm at gender-specific party bags. I cannot express just how much I hate this concept.

UptoapointLordCopper · 09/07/2012 13:45

< Judgy pants firmly on. Grin >

jojane · 09/07/2012 13:45

Last year i spent 2 long evenings making and sewing wool to make a foxes tail
So DH could be swiper the fox and I always get to about 1 am the day before the party thinking what the hell am I doing and vowing never again!!! Got to make a pink castle came for Sunday so will be a stress head about it sure that the towers will fall down at a critical moment!

stealthsquiggle · 09/07/2012 13:49

fortifiedwithtea - my DD treasures a bag of "polished pebbles" she got in some party bag or other Grin

I basically object to gender specific party bags but did have to cave when DD was adamant that she wanted a princess party. I amended it to princesses and pirates, and although the contents were the same, I did make princess and pirate bags (1m of each of 2 fabrics = same price as 2m of one, so made no difference to me, and made DD happy)

TitsalinaBumSquash · 09/07/2012 13:49

I'm fond of giving them all a gingerbread man or something to decorate at the party, then they are put in a bag with a helium balloon tied to the handle and a token party blower or something. It's an activity and party bag in one :)

HipHopOpotomus · 09/07/2012 13:50

DP made a huge Hello Kitty on a board so we could play "Pin the BOW on Hello Kitty" (you can guess the theme right) at DD's 4 birthday party.

We forgot to play the blinking game - and he did a great job.

8 months on and DD brings up subject of her next birthday (in November) - she comments "we will have to play Daddy's Hello Kitty game as we didn't play it when I turned 4" - bless her sweet (hello bloody kitty) socks.

HipHopOpotomus · 09/07/2012 13:50

Titsalina I'm thinking of doing similar next party we do. Lots of mess fun!

Emandlu · 09/07/2012 13:51

I tend to buy notebooks and pencils and give them with a piece of cake. Job done. Not too expensive either.

We also have a 1 person invited per year of age rule meaning things don't get stupidly expensive.

Round here I'd never noticed party bags being competitive - it was either a bag of sweets or a bag of plastic tat, or a combination of the 2.